


My Darling Boy

by anarchycox



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Age Play, Angst, Comfort, Daddy Kink, Established Relationship, Fluff, Harry Lives, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, Post Movie, Sex, merlin takes wonderful care of his boy, michelle is not great here, the age play and sex barely cross streams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-06-09 19:17:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 42,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6919747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy is the best the Kingsman have (even if a few will never admit it). He gets the job done and always saves the day. He and Merlin have been dating for over a year. There were concerns at first about their ability to do the job but they are never less than professional at the office and all objects quickly went away. Out in the world Eggsy gives Merlin as good as he gets and they stand toe to toe.</p><p>At home though, when done with work, Eggsy is Merlin's darling boy. And Merlin is a very indulgent Daddy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【翻譯】My Darling Boy 我的親親男孩](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7075516) by [sandykill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandykill/pseuds/sandykill)



> So there is lots of Hartwin or Merhartwin with Daddy kink and a few Merwin too, but not a huge amount (at least in merwin) that also involves a good bit of age play with the daddy kink. My thanks to adventuresoftheordinarysort and theanisplanet for inspiring this story. Eggsy will age down mentally, but never younger than 5-7.

"Agent Galahad is this your idea of subtle?" Merlin said into the comms.

"The building is still standing." Eggsy said cheerfully as he ran down the hall. "So better than Bors and most people are just knocked out from that gas you gave me, not dead, so doing better than Arthur. So yeah based on the job and my co-workers I actually think this is pretty subtle."

Merlin groaned. "Don't be clever."

"Well I just ran into a dead end here, so clever might actually be called for. Ideas Merlin?" Eggsy asked as he stared at the wall that was supposed to be a door. He could hear Merlin typing furiously.

"Galahad take off your signet ring and watch. Tap the winder twice and the back will open. Place the signet against the small window that will appear."

Eggsy does as ordered. "And then?"

"Well ye have 30 seconds to find some cover." Merlin said.

"Shit." And Eggsy ran down the hall and ducked in a door as he heard the explosion. Once the smoke cleared a little he looked and saw the hole in the wall of the building that gave him a way out. "Is this your idea of subtle?" He teased.

"No this is my idea of saving my idiot agent's asses. Get to the extraction point. We will see you at the office tomorrow." Merlin leaned back in his chair and sipped his tea. Another successful mission for Galahad. He attended to some paperwork and guided Percival and Lancelot through their mission and sent Harry a nasty email reminding him he did have to show up for their meetings occasionally. But then he decided he had worked hard enough and took a page from Harry's book and decided to disappear.

Eggsy would be home late tonight and there was a chance he would go back to his own flat, but Merlin wanted to have his townhouse prepared, just in case. He needed to get in some juice and biscuits, perhaps make Eggsy's favourite pasta. He was making a mental list when a window display drew him up short. He peered in for a moment and took a deep breath and opened the business's door. Good lord it was disturbingly cheerful. Merlin wondered if he could knock everyone out and go about his business but the cheerful clerk came up to him.

"Welcome to Build a Bear! Can I help you today?" She asked. The man was a little scary and a little old and alone to come into the store.

Merlin smiled and scratched his neck a bit in embarrassment. "Aye. I saw the Batman bear and car. My boy, he comes home tonight. He's been away for a few nights with his team. So brave about going without me along, and I thought coming home to that, might be a nice surprise. It would right?" He asked.

Her heart melted. She loved older dads, they often tried so hard. "It would be a great gift. And he's into Batman, more than Superman or the Avengers? You want to make sure to get his favourite."

Merlin paused and thought about it. "He might like another character more, but he'll love that it comes with the car - he goes on about the Batmobile regularly."

"Okay then." So cute, she thought. "Let's help you out, we do have a couple sales going on too, on some of the small figures." She pointed out the tiny Avenger bears.

"Ooh mayhap one or two of those for when he fills his sticker chart." Merlin said.

The clerk grinned happily and Merlin left 30 minutes later with several boxes. He took them to the car and then went to the grocery. By the time he made it home it took three trips to unload his car. He put the food away and then took the bears upstairs. 3 months ago he had had some serious work done upstairs and had a door put in between the master and spare bedroom and the spare now had very elaborate locks on the outer door that only he and Eggsy could open. He went through the door in his bedroom and switched on the light in the spare.

Of course Eggsy had left it a bit of a mess before his had gone for his mission and Merlin hadn't wanted to clean it up, Eggsy would never learn his lesson if Daddy did all the work. But he relented a little as he wanted Eggsy to come home to a nice space. Merlin changed the sheets from space rockets to football and smoothed the comforter down. He placed the Batman bear in his batmobile and put it in the centre of the bed. He tied the action figures and swore as he stepped on a piece of lego. He goddamn hated lego. He grabbed the laundry and left the room and got it running while he started to make spaghetti and meatballs. He hummed as he work and sipped a glass of wine keeping an eye on the clock.

At 7 the sauce was simmering and Merlin had the water ready for the pasta and was playing on his tablet when he heard the door open. He put it down and walked down the hall to wear Eggsy was taking off his shoes and tie. "Hello Eggsy." Merlin said as he leaned against the wall. He took in the shadows under Eggsy's eyes, the cut on his lip, the bruised knuckles. His boy was going to need some serious cuddles tonight.

Eggsy dropped the tie and threw his glasses onto the small foyer table and ran down the hall into Merlin's arms. "Hi Daddy." He snuggled in tight.

Merlin hugged him back but looked at the thrown about clothes. "Do we make a mess when we come in the door?" He asked.

Eggsy lifted his head and pouted a bit. "Been away 10 whole days, wanted a hug!"

Merlin kissed the top of his head. "Put your stuff away properly and go change into at home clothes. If ye like you can have a fizzy drink with your spaghetti."

"Sghetti!" Eggsy cheered. He started to head back to put away his things. "Missed you Daddy." He added.

"Missed you too, my darling boy."


	2. How it Began

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Merlin and Eggsy came together and figured a few things out.

_13 months ago_

"Hey Merlin?" Eggsy asked as he spun around on a chair in Merlin's office. "How come I haven't had a honeypot mission yet? Rox had one, every agent on staff has had one."

"Hmmm?" Merlin didn't look up from his typing. "Shouldn't you be asking Arthur about your missions?"

Eggsy snorted a little. "Come on, like Harry's in charge here. Half the time, he's just sleeping in his office, the other half finding creative places to hide the memos you send him."

Merlin sighed. "Okay perhaps Harry is more of a charming figure head, though push come to shove he does take the job seriously. So what are ye on about?"

"Sex. On the job sex - why haven't I done any yet?" Eggsy stopped spinning. "Should I have done some by now, been six months at the table, feels like with all this awesome should have been ordered to shag someone by now."

"Oh, yes well, in most circumstances it is a mission we hand out early on."  Merlin typed a little more. "But Harry and I agreed, ye needed more training before that were to happen."

"Wot?" Eggsy jumped out of his chair. "Why would I need more training to shag someone? I'm brilliant in the sack."

"Really? Because Tilde was completely in charge and you were just along for the ride and as far as I know ye have not had any lovers since that thank god we are alive sex." Merlin's voice is dry. "And ye weren't exactly at the top of the class in NLP training."

"Roxy was worse." Eggsy muttered. "And I could do it. I could totally rock someone's world." Merlin raised a brow at this. "Oh you know what I mean. Give me a chance Merlin."

Merlin smiled slowly. "Fine then." Merlin wrote down an address. "This bar tonight at 8pm. Seduce your target and we'll let you take on a honeypot mission."

"How will I know the target?" Eggsy asked.

"They'll have glasses and be in a green sweater with brown patches on the shoulder and a subtle dark brown plaid trouser." 

"That's what you are wearing." Eggsy said confused.

"It is, isn't it?" Merlin smirked. "Begone with ye, you'll nae seduce me tonight with that scruff on your face, I like my boys with soft and clean cheeks." 

Eggsy grinned, he was definitely going to seduce the hell out of Merlin.

 

_10 months ago_

Eggsy braced his hands against the head board and groaned as Merlin yanked at his hair. "Hello there handsome boy." Merlin said before he bit the back of Eggsy's neck. Eggsy moaned. They had sex after that first night at the bar and on the regular since then. He couldn't quite figure out if they were dating, but he knew that he loved how Merlin made him feel. Good god the man knew what he was doing in bed. Merlin kept biting Eggsy's neck even as his free hand began to work Eggsy open. It wasn't long before Merlin was fucking him hard and Eggsy loved every second of it.

"Fuck Daddy, more please." Eggsy said as Merlin snapped his hips hard. Eggsy's eyes opened wide as he realized what he said, but Merlin just growled and began to push into him even harder. Merlin came with a groan and then jerked Eggsy off roughly. 

When they collapsed on the bed, Eggsy wondered if he should say or do something. "Uh so? We gonna talk about it?" Merlin mumbled something into his pillow. "Didn't catch that Merlin."

"I clearly am fucking ye wrong if ye can talk that well." Merlin grumbled. "Afterglow; let us enjoy it shall we?" He snagged an arm around Eggsy and snuggled the young man in.

Eggsy is quiet for a few minutes. "I didn't ruin anything with what I said?"

Merlin swore. "Jesus fucking christ lad, we have to meet my sister in like 8 hours let me get my sleep or she'll run roughshod over me. Why my parents had 4 girls before they had me I'll never know."

"Pretty sure biology and science don't work like that babe." Eggsy said. "Wait, that's why we're going out for breakfast I'm meeting your sister?" Eggsy was stunned.

"Aye the 3rd most annoying but Kennedy and Morgan are both busy with families and ye won't meet them until the holidays. And trust me, ye aren't ready to meet Bobby yet, no one ever is. But Jay, she's not so bad, just a bit of a fussbudget." Merlin hugged Eggsy tighter. "And she'll fuss if she sees bags under my eyes, so we sleep now."

"You always have bags under your eyes." Eggsy said. "You never sleep enough."

"My sisters don't need to know that."

"We can cover them up with some foundation." Eggsy promised. Merlin just grumbled some more and was already falling asleep.

Eggsy smiled. Guess they must be dating if he's meeting a sister. And he figured that maybe Merlin hadn't heard him when he had said Daddy, which was fine, Eggsy would make sure not to slip up again.

 

_9 months ago_

"Daddy, god Daddy please. Please let me come." Eggsy begged as he was tied to his bed. Eggsy bit his lip hard, shit he hadn't meant to say that again. "Merlin please?" He whimpered as Merlin's hands moved off his body. Oh god, Merlin was disgusted with him and leaving. Shit, shit, shit. "Merlin, I'm sorry, won't do it again. Stay please, I'll be good, promise." 

Merlin moved so that he was on top of Eggsy, his face an inch from Eggsy's. All Eggsy could really see was Merlin's eyes, but he could feel the man pressing him into the bed and the pressure, the weight of it felt so good. "Quinn, don't go." Eggsy begged softly.

"Not going anywhere my boy, not for a second. I'm keeping ye." Merlin said.

"Really?" Eggsy smiled happily.

"Aye, I am very fond of ye my darling boy." Merlin moved his hips against Eggsy. "Now how about you go back to that pretty begging?"

"Merlin, please let me come." Eggsy moved his head up to kiss Merlin but Merlin moved a bit out of reach. "Merlin?"

"Say what ye really want to say and ye can have a reward." Merlin replied.

Eggsy stared at him in shock and confusion, but Merlin simply waited on top of Eggsy, occasionally pressing against him to remind him of how hard they both still were. 

"Daddy," Eggsy said in a very small and slightly scared voice. "Can I please come?"

Merlin smiled and kissed Eggsy hard. "Of course, anything for my boy."

Eggsy was pretty sure that was the best orgasm of his life.

 

_7 months ago_

"Daisy, this is Quinn, my boyfriend. Quinn this is my perfect sister Daisy." Eggsy said. 

Merlin gave her a deep bow. "It is my pleasure to make your acquaintance Miss Daisy."

Daisy giggled but clung to Eggsy a little bit. "Lo." She said. Merlin handed her the gift bag he had brought, filled with different Duplo sets. Eggsy nudged her a little bit. "Thank you."

"Ye are quite welcome." Merlin said as she emptied the bag to look at everything.

"And Mum, this is Quinn, Quinn my mum Michelle."

"Hello." Merlin said as he handed her a bouquet. 

"You shouldn't spoil your sister like this." Michelle said, mostly ignoring Merlin.

Daisy looked up from the ground at her mum and Eggsy.

"A little spoiling when you meet someone new and important is fine Mum." Eggsy said quietly.

"She'll grow up a brat. You didn't have much and you turned out fine."

Merlin watched Daisy start to push the toys away. He sat on the ground and opened one of the boxes. "Did Eggsy tell you Miss Daisy that I have 4 older sisters?"

Daisy's eyes widened. "Four?"

"Aye and the second oldest Jay, she loved Duplo and later Lego. It helped her become an engineer. She now travels all over the world building bridges and dams." Merlin dealt with all the plastic wrap the toys came in. "Now, lass what should we build while your mum and Eggsy go to the kitchen and have a nice catch up and cuppa?"

"A castle." Daisy said. 

Eggsy pouted. "I wanna build a castle too."

Michelle sighed. "I'll go prepare lunch then by myself. You play with your silly toys, just make sure you all clean up, I'll be right mad if I step on any of that."

"Yes Mum." Both Daisy and Eggsy said as they began to play.

Three hours later they left, Merlin doubting he left a good impression with Michelle, but Eggsy was happy. "Brilliant gift for Daisy, Merlin. She loves toys that let her be creative."

"And ye just had an awful time on the floor playing with the Duplo." Merlin teased as they got into the car.

Eggsy laughed and shrugged. "Always thought Lego was cool, but never had a lot of it. Mum hates the stuff after she said my left out pieces destroyed the vacuum. Some of the sets they put out these days are brilliant aren't they?"

Two days later when Eggsy came over for dinner, he saw the Batmobile set sitting on the dining room table. "Wot's this?"

"Ye love Lego and ye love the Batmobile. Thought ye might have fun putting it together." Merlin said from the doorway.

Eggsy grinned and tore into the box, forgetting all about dinner.

 

_5 months ago_

"Harry, I'll be taking the next few days off." Merlin said as they watched the plane pull in.

"Of course, take all the time you need." Harry replied. "Our men in Belarus, cleared him. His wrist is broken, some stitches, a concussion. Encourage him to visit psych and medical when you think he is ready." The plane came to a standstill. "I remember my first failed mission. He'll need looking after."

"I looked after you well enough." Merlin replied.

"You got me drunk and a bed partner and I woke up in Bali with henna tattoos and a nipple piercing." Harry answered.

"And that didn't fix how you felt?" Merlin grinned and Harry just smirked back. "I'll take care of him Harry." Merlin's face was serious. "For as long as he'll let me."

Harry watched Eggsy be helped off the plane but shrug it off when he saw Merlin. "Good." Harry said to thin air as Merlin was already gone to Eggsy.

********

"Do ye want your flat?" Merlin asked as he helped Eggsy into the car.

"No yours, feels...cozier, like a blanket fort." Eggsy was a little loopy on jet lag and pain medication. "Your place makes me feel safe."

"Okay then." Merlin drove quickly and Eggsy was dozing by the time he got there. Merlin picked Eggsy up and carried him into his small house. 

"Too heavy for you." Eggsy slurred.

"Nae." Merlin could carry him forever, but he could managed this well enough. He got them in the house and took Eggsy to his bedroom. "You stay there while I draw you a bath." Eggsy nodded and went back to sleep sitting up.

Merlin ran warm water and dumped some shampoo in to make some bubbles he brought Eggsy in and stripped him down, and helped him into the tub, mindful of the cast. He sat beside the tub and talked quietly to Eggsy while the water soothed muscles.

"Wish I had a rubber duck." Eggsy said. "Be funny wouldn't it? A rubber duck in the mighty Merlin's tub."

"Powerful drugs they gave you." Merlin said but then he paused. "Stay there. And don't drown." Merlin hurried out of the room. He came back a few minutes later with something is his hand.

"Wot's that?" Eggsy asked.

"A rubber duck." Merlin said. It was wearing glasses and a sweater. "My last birthday gift from Harry." He put it in the water and nudged it so that it floated over to Eggsy.

Eggsy giggled and booped its nose. "Thank you Daddy." It was the first time he had said that outside of sex. He giggled and tapped the duck again.

Merlin dismissed it as a part of the drugs. "You are welcome my darling boy."

 

_4 months ago_

Eggsy sat at Merlin's kitchen table while Merlin cooked dinner and rambled on about past situations that the Kingsman dealt with - mostly bitching about Harry. Eggsy loved it when Merlin told stories and wasn't paying attention to what Merlin was cooking. Merlin put two plates on the table and poured them both some red wine. He sat, still talking and cut into a perfectly medium pan fried steak.

He ate a few mouthfuls and realized Eggsy wasn't eating. "Problem, Eggsy?"

Eggsy scrunched up his face. "Don't really want steak."

"I told ye this was what I was cooking. Ye couldn't have mentioned it before I prepared everything?" Merlin asked.

"Wasn't paying attention." Eggsy said. He was feeling moody and he couldn't explain why. "And the wine smells funny."

"It's a very nice Cabernet that goes well with the steak." Merlin said.

"It smells stupid." Eggsy said. "And don't want steak." He flicked the plate a little. "Inside is the wrong colour."

"What are ye six?" Merlin stared at Eggsy. "If ye don't like it, feel free to cook yourself something else."

Eggsy looked at the stove top. "No, your kitchen hates me." He pouted. "Hungry Merlin."

"Ye have several options to fix it, lad." Merlin said a little fed up. He growled as Eggsy flicked his plate again. "Right." He grabbed Eggsy's wine and took it to the counter. He returned with a glass of milk for Eggsy. "There now it smells less funny." He then moved Eggsy's plate closer and began to cut up the steak leaving the dark outer pieces and moving the pink centre to his own plate. There were small perfectly cut pieces left on the plate. "And now the wrong colour is gone." Merlin shook his head. "Jesus Christ ye are a trial today."

Eggsy stared at him in shock and felt his eyes begin to tear. He tried to hold back a sniffle, he hadn't meant to make Merlin mad. "I'm sorry. It looks like a nice steak." He moved his plate back a little closer and didn't look up.

Merlin saw his shoulders start to quiver. "Oh my darling boy."

"I'm stupid." Eggsy said. 

Merlin quickly got up and moved to Eggsy's chair and picked him up and sat him in his lap. "Nae, ye are not stupid." Merlin began to rub Eggsy's back. "What happened my love?"

"Dunno." Eggsy leaned into him. "Everything just felt big and wrong and...I dunno."

Merlin rubbed his back for a couple more minutes. "Hungry?"

"Yeah." Eggsy said. 

Merlin speared a small piece of steak onto a fork. "The plane has reached the tarmac and is ready to take off to the final destination of Eggsy's tummy." Merlin said.

Eggsy looked at him like he was mental. But Merlin just counted down to take off and made the steak fly with plane noises and everything. It hovered in front of his mouth, waiting. The two men looked at each other and Eggsy parted his lips. He ate the bite of steak and then sipped the milk Merlin held up for him. "Thank you Daddy." Eggsy said quietly.

"Of course." Merlin said simply.

 

_3 months ago_

"Why have we spent the last week at my place Merlin?" Eggsy asked as they watched a movie in his flat.

"Contractors at my place. Some repairs and alterations needed." Merlin said. "Be done in a couple more days."

"Wot sort of work?" Eggsy snuggled in a little more.

"Some changes to the spare bedroom. Built in shelves, adding a connecting door between the master and it. Also getting a better bathtub put in, with how much ye like your baths." Merlin said.

"The changes are for me?" Eggsy was stunned.

"Aye." 

"But why the separate room?" Eggsy was confused.

"Just so ye can carve out your own space in my house. An Eggsy space where ye can hide away and feel as safe as ye need." Merlin looked at him. "Keeping it neutral. A light blue wall, a simple bed, but ye can decorate it however you like."

Eggsy looked around his flat. "Uh, Merlin, I don't exactly do a lot of decorating." They stared at the one poster on the wall.

"It would be a good place to put that Lego Batmobile ye made." Merlin suggested. "If ye never sleep in there, it is fine, just want ye to have the option. I'll be designing extra security for it so no company can ever peek into that room."

"Why would that matter?" Eggsy wondered.

Merlin shrugged. "Just because."

A few days later all the changes to the house were done and they went over. Eggsy swooned over the new deep bathtub and kissed Merlin thoroughly. "Should have done that sooner." Merlin teased, a bit out of breath from the kiss. He took Eggsy to the spare room, which now connected to the master. It was bare bones, the only things in it a wardrobe, a storage box and the lone Batmobile sitting in one of the wall cubbies. "Will this be a good space for ye lad?"

"Well sure, I appreciate all the work babe, but still don't quite get why you thought I needed it." Eggsy looked around the space. Even as empty as it was, it felt safe and cozy. "Thanks Quinn."

Merlin smiled.

A week later they were out poking around Marks and Sparks when Eggsy noticed something. "Hey, look at these." There were discounted F1 race car sheets. "They'd look neat on that bed wouldn't they?" He paused and looked at Merlin. "It's silly, never mind." He put the package back.

"There is a matching lamp in the next aisle."

Eggsy bit his lip and pulled the sheet set back down. They went and got the lamp as well.

 

_1 month ago_

Eggsy was hiding in his room. Well not hiding, Merlin knew where he was, he was just so annoyed. Stupid Merlin saying it was chore day. They were super spies, why did they have to do chores. He grabbed his favourite oversized hoodie and put it on and sat on the floor beside the bed. He pouted and played with his phone for awhile, and grew more annoyed that Merlin hadn't come to apologize to him for being a prat.

Eggsy looked at the space that he had slowly been filling with things, all the things he hadn't ever had at the council flat, things that his mum had said they couldn't afford, or he didn't deserve because he was a nasty selfish thing. He began to worry. What if Merlin took it all away because Eggsy had said mean things? He liked his stuff, he liked his room. He began to cry and grabbed his Paddington Bear. 

He heard a knock on the door and mumbled something into the Bear's fur. Merlin came in and sat on the floor beside him. Eggsy immediately began to sob in earnest and tried to crawl into Merlin. "I'm s-sorry Daddy." It was still infrequent for him to call Merlin that outside of sex, but it had been happening more and more. "I didn't mean it, I'm sorry I said nasty things. Don't take my stuff away."

"Shh, my darling boy. Hush, it's okay. Daddy's sorry too." Merlin said as he rocked Eggsy a little. "Didn't realize how small you were feeling."

"Not small." Eggsy protested.

"I know ye are my big boy, my wonderful, darling boy, but we need to figure a few things out better." Merlin said.

"Wot things?" Eggsy asked. He wiped his snot on his bear.

"Things where you let me know if ye are in need of this space, things that let me know whether I'm dealing with adult Eggsy, or little Eggsy." Merlin looked at him. "Ye are safe here Eggsy, to feel and be whatever you need."

Eggsy looked at the bear that he was choking. "I'm not a baby."

"I know that." Merlin said.

"Okay then." Eggsy agreed. "We'll figure it out, won't we Daddy?"

"Aye." Merlin thought about it. "What if we put a reward chart up in here? Stickers for when ye help Daddy out, with chores or being a good boy? Ye could earn toys and treats."

"That could be cool. Don't mean to be nasty to you Daddy." Eggsy said.

"I know ye don't." Merlin said. "Now we still need to vacuum, but then I could make your favourite?"

Eggsy perked up a little. "Sghetti?" He coughed. "I mean spaghetti."

Merlin kissed his nose. "Sghetti is fine, spaghetti is a big word for my darling boy."

Eggsy nodded. "Sghetti is bear's favourite too."

"Well we can set a place for him if ye like." Merlin said.

Eggsy nodded and snuggled a little more into his Daddy.

 


	3. How It Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy's POV about coming home from the first chapter

Eggsy was tired at he took the bullet train to the estate. He checked in his weapons and filled in a couple forms and stopped by Harry's office. "Hey, mission went well. World is safe as I can make it."

Harry smiled happily as Eggsy looked at him dead on. He and Merlin were the only ones to not flinch away from the scars and robotic eye. "Good. Merlin disappeared early, I think to spoil you some. Don't expect to see you back for three days." Harry paused. "Make it four."

Eggsy flushed. He often wondered if Harry knew what he and Merlin did at Merlin's house and what Harry thought of it. But if Harry never brought it up he sure as hell wasn't going to. "Right then, I'm off for luxury and debauchery see you in a few days boss." 

"Remember to stretch before strenuous activity." Harry replied.

Eggsy waved and hopped onto the bullet train. He called home to hear Daisy's voice. "She's been waiting by the phone every night at bedtime." Michelle said.

"I know Mum, I'm sorry, job took longer than I thought." Eggsy said. "Can I speak to her?"

"How could being a tailor take so long, unless you are doing more than just measuring inseams while you are down there." Michelle snarked.

"Mum, I have Quinn." Eggsy protested. 

"Right, like your computer nerd would even notice if you had a bit of fun while you were away."

"Mum, let me talk to Daisy." Eggsy's voice went from cheerful to weary.

"She's had her bath and is exhausted." Michelle replied flatly. 

Eggsy could hear Daisy babbling to her dolls in the background. "Just to say goodnight."

"Fine. But you keep your trap shut about any treats you bought her while away, she's been on my last nerve and I won't have you rewarding that." Michelle said before calling Daisy over.

"Eggsy!" Daisy yelled into the phone.

"Hello darling." Eggsy said. They talked very briefly before Michelle ended the call abruptly. Eggsy leaned his head against his seat and drifted away. The train stopped and Eggsy felt heavy as he got out. He walked through the shop barely greeting Andrew and stopped outside the door, no idea where to go. Sure Merlin left work early but that didn't mean it was about him. When they had talked Merlin had said he'd see the agent tomorrow, maybe Merlin was tired and didn't want to deal with the work of Eggsy.

His phone beeped.  _Dinner is ready whenever and I have a surprise for you if you come over here. Or I can transport the food to your flat._

Eggsy smiled. Merlin always gave the choice of location to Eggsy, which meant he was giving the more important choice to Eggsy as well.

 _Want your place._ Eggsy typed.  _Need your place_.

 _Understood_ , was all the reply he received and Eggsy sighed in relief. He took the tube and walked a bit instead of a Kingsman car just to clear his mind. He saw Merlin's door and smiled. It was such a small house for a man as big as Merlin, but still it suited him and had the advantage of being detached which made for a little more privacy in the garden. Eggsy hurried to the door and flung it open. He sniffed the air and realized was what cooking and smiled. He began to strip the layers of Kingsman off, slipping out of the shoes and tearing off the tie.

He was putting his glasses on the table when he heard, "Hello Eggsy." Merlin's voice was calm, no inflection, giving Eggsy another chance to decide who he needed to be.

But seeing Daddy made it easy. He flung the glasses onto the table and ran to Daddy. "Hi Daddy." He said as snuggled into his arms.

"Do we make a mess when we come in the door?" Daddy asked.

Eggsy pouted a little, stupid rules, he thought. ""Been away 10 whole days, wanted a hug!" He squeezed his da tighter to let him know how serious this hug was. He smiled when he was squeezed back equally tight.

Daddy kissed the top of his head. "Put your stuff away properly and go change into at home clothes. If ye like you can have a fizzy drink with your spaghetti."

Eggsy bounced a little, he knew it had smelled like his favourite. "Sghetti!" He went to put the things away properly. "Missed you Daddy." He said as he passed by Daddy to go to his room. He giggled as his da gave his tush a silly little smack.

"Missed you too Daddy." Eggsy said as he hurried past, he was hungry but no food in nice close, especially sghetti as that sometimes made a mess. But Daddy never got mad about mess, not like how other people did. He didn't like to think about those people when he was feeling small, it made his tummy feel wrong; Eggsy just liked to think of Daddy and how much nicer it was here. Eggsy walked through the master bedroom, and breathed in that scent of a perfect fall day that Daddy just seemed to carry in his skin, like a scratch and sniff sticker. Eggsy cut through to his room and noticed it was cleaner than he left. Oops, he thought, so much for filling his sticker chart anytime soon. Good boys don't leave messes. He sighed as he went to his wardrobe but perked up when he saw his bed.

He cheered at the new bear and oh man, he had the Batmobile!!!! Eggsy pounded his feet on the floor. "Thank you Daddy!" He hollered as loud as he could and ran to hug the new buddy. "Hello Batman, that's a bitching car you have." He gasped and checked to make sure Daddy hadn't come up and heard that. "I mean neat car. You'll be friends with Paddington, he's really nice." He vroomed the car around his bed a little bit.

"Eggsy, supper." Daddy called up.

Uh-oh, Eggsy still needed to change. He went to his wardrobe and grabbed an old pair of trackies that had been Daddy's and he claimed as his and a t-shirt with Tigger and Eyore on it. He ran down the steps and careened into the kitchen.

"Watch it darling boy, have to be careful on stairs." Daddy said. "Now sit your tush down. One piece of garlic bread?"

"Two Daddy. Super hungry. And orange fizzy." Eggsy demanded. A look had him adding a quick, "Please?"

"Better. You know your manners,  your Uncle Harry drummed them into you enough." 

Eggsy blushed a little at the mention of Harry. He hadn't known how to reconcile Harry in his mind until a few weeks ago when Merlin called him Uncle Harry. It still felt odd, but worked at the same time.  He smiled as his small plate was put in front of him full of spaghetti and two pieces of garlic bread. He carefully twirled the sghetti around his fork, like Daddy had shown him, happy when it all stayed on. He jammed it in his mouth and made happy, yummy noise.

"Best sghetti ever." Eggsy said.

Daddy smiled. "Ye say that every time."

"Mean it every time." Eggsy replied. He swung his feet a little under his chair. "Am I in trouble for not cleaning my room before my field trip?" He asked as he stared at his garlic bread.

"Nae, wish ye would have taken care of it, but ye didn't really have time, the field trip came up quick." Daddy ate some food and drank a small glass of wine. Eggsy looked at it, waited for him to refill it, but he never had more than one drink when Eggsy was over. "Did ye notice anything else?"

"You mean the super duper aces new bear and batmobile? Hell yeah!"

Daddy's eyes widened. "Language young man!"

Eggsy wrinkled his nose, "You say way worse."

"Aye, but I'm all big and grown - ye get as big as me and then ye can use all the naughty words ye want." Daddy admonished.

"Never going to be as big as you Daddy." Eggsy said. He grabbed some spaghetti but didn't twirl all the way and it slapped sauce onto his chin. He frowned. He loved sghetti, but the mess was annoying sometimes. 

"Here darling boy." His da said and he cleaned up Eggsy's face. "And you'll grow big enough, be perfect Eggsy size." Eggsy leaned into the kiss his da pressed to his temple. "After dinner, how about a nice bubble bath? Want to see if you have any more ouchies from your field trip."

"I'm fine Daddy." Eggsy protested. "Don't want the stingy goo."

"I'll be the judge of you being fine mister." Daddy's voice was stern. But then he smiled. "Have new bath crayons for ye and three different kinds of plasters if we need them. I'll kiss each and every ouchie better, promise."

"Dessert first?" Eggsy asked hopefully as he finished his supper.

"Ye can have some biscuits after your bath when ye are in your jim jams."

"3 biscuits." Eggsy tried to bargain.

"Well that depends on how well ye do in the bath and letting me take care of ye doesn't it?" Daddy said with a raised brow.

Eggsy pushed back and took his plate to the sink and put it in and then hurried up to the bath. His da followed at a more sedate pace and waited for Eggsy to pick what bath toy he wanted. Eggsy went for the new water crayons.

"Bubbles or a bath bomb Eggsy?"

"Bombs are for girls." Eggsy protested.

"Oh I see. Guess I'll save the dragon egg then for my bath. That I take alone." Daddy put the bath bomb away. "Spiderman bubbles it is."

"Wait!" Eggsy shouted as he pulled his pants down. "It's a dragon egg?"

"Aye." Daddy tried to hide his smile.

"Okay, I want that." Eggsy did a little dance. "I need to pee."

"Well then pee." Daddy said gesturing to the toilet. 

"Don't look Daddy!" Eggsy said. He was a big boy and didn't need a Da to look after him while he peed. He watched to make sure his da's back was turned and then hummed as the stream hit the water. Heehee the splashing noise was always funny. He flushed and washed his hands. "Is the bath ready Daddy?"

"Aye darling boy. Get on in and then we'll drop the dragon egg in." Daddy said.

Eggsy climbed into the tub and clutched his red crayon. "3...2...1." He yelled and Daddy dropped the bath bomb in. Eggsy watched is fizz and spew all sorts of colours and when it cracked the inside gushed out. "Neat." He then coloured on the walls. "Daddy, stop. I'm busy."

"Your hair is a little messy sweetie. Got some sauce in it." Eggsy grumbled but survived the water pouring over his head. He liked it when Daddy scrubbed his head, it made his tummy feel good funny. "Close your eyes tight." Eggsy scrunched them shut as the water poured over his head to carry the shampoo away. "Now ye can play all ye like. I'm just going to turn the beds down and get your dessert ready. Holler if ye need me."

Eggsy happily drew on the walls and splashed in the water a bit, and Daddy was back before it got too cool. "Getting pruney Daddy."

"I have a big fluffy towel and your Spiderman jim jams right here." Daddy promised.

Eggsy stood up and held his arms out and Daddy helped him out of the tub. He shivered a little but then was wrapped in the huge towel.

"Okay let me see your chest." Daddy said as he lowered the towel. "Hmmm, no injuries. Anything hurt?"

Eggsy sighed, Daddy worried too much. "No, told you I'm fine." He held out his hands for his jim jam top.

"Such a big boy." Daddy teased and Eggsy stuck out his tongue.

Daddy dropped the towel to the ground and saw the scraped knee. "Oooh, bet that needs a plaster. Mike the Knight, Muppets, or Avengers?"

"Is there Fozzy Bear?"

"There is."

"Wokka Wokka." Eggsy said. He stood very still as Daddy put the plaster on and lay a gentle kiss over top. Daddy helped him put the jim jam bottoms on. "Thank you Daddy."

"Would ye like to eat your biscuits in my bed and watch a movie?" Daddy asked.

"We never get treats in bed!" Eggsy said surprised.

"I missed ye lad, your trip took longer than we thought. So a little indulgence is okay." Daddy kissed his nose, it always made him giggle.

"Aces." Eggsy ran and jumped into his Dad's bed. "Wot movie?"

"What do ye think?" Daddy asked as he got into bed more sedately.

"Totoro?" 

"Totoro." Daddy agreed. 

Eggsy gave him a huge hug before taking cookie from the plate. He spewed crumbs as he sang the theme song and flinched. But Daddy didn't yell, Daddy never yelled. Why he was such a perfect Dad.

Eggsy made it through two and a half biscuits before he was full and snuggled into his daddy. He started to drift off, lulled by the movie he had watched countless times and the warmth of the body next to him. He felt Daddy shift for the remote. "I'm awake." He said sleepily.

"Sure ye are." Daddy agreed. "In here tonight, or your bed." 

Eggsy thought as hard as he could. Here had Daddy, but the bed felt big. And the bed in his room was small and cozy and had his bears. "My room Daddy." He got up and started to walk and sighed when Daddy picked him up. He had used to hate this, but it made him feel so small and safe and good that he let it happen. Eggsy let Daddy tuck him in and blinked as he reached for Paddington. "No, new Batman tonight. He'll keep me safe. Don't want bad dreams Daddy." His field trip had gone fine, but he was always scared of field trip based nightmares when he got home.

"Batman bear will keep ye safe, and I'm right next door." Daddy smoothed the covers and kissed his head. "Now to sleep with ye and tomorrow we can play in the garden all day if ye like." Daddy sang a lullaby softly in Gaelic and Eggsy yawned, the lullabies always made him extra sleepy. And sure enough he was out before the end of the song.

***********************************

Eggsy woke up at 3 needing to piss. He cut through Merlin's room to the loo and took a quick pee and had a glass of water. He started to walk back to his room, but slowly, not wanting to settle in there. He woke up feeling a little too big for his bed. He saw that Merlin had kicked off most of the covers as he tended to do and was snoring softly. Eggsy reached his door and looked in at the Batman bear who had fallen to the ground. He closed the door and climbed onto Merlin's bed. He pulled the covers over them both and snuggled in.

"Nightmare darling boy?" Merlin slurred still mostly asleep.

"No Quinn, just had to take a leak. Wanted to switch to here." Eggsy explained. 

"Okay. First up then makes the coffee." Even mostly asleep, Merlin recognized the switch from Daddy to Quinn.

"I'll even make toast." Eggsy promised.

"Ye destroyed the toaster, I haven't replaced it yet." 

"Your kitchen hates me."

"So ye say." Merlin was snoring again moments later.

Eggsy stayed close a hand over Merlin's heart. "Thank you." He whispered before falling back asleep as well.

 


	4. How He Moves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is heavily influenced by gifs of Mark Strong dancing in his latest sci fi movie.

Merlin stood up and stretched, he needed to remember to do that more. The long days were feeling longer than they used to. He rolled his shoulders and dropped into a quick knee bend. He popped up quickly and gave the room a quick look to make sure it was empty. He hit a button that blanked the cameras in his office and then shuffled his feet a little to the left and then the right. He shook his shoulders and began to gesture a little. It was just a silly little shimmy and shake to loosen up his muscles before he had to get back to work, but it felt good. He moved a little more and spun around and saw Eggsy standing there.

He straightened his shoulders. "Hello Eggsy."

"Hello guv." Eggsy said biting back a laugh. "So, what do you call that flailing?"

"Stretching in between guiding missions."

Eggsy laughed and reached his arms to the sky. "No that is a stretch." He then copied the silly little shake Merlin had been doing. "That is something else entirely."

"Do ye have a purpose here agent?" Merlin says sternly, trying to cover up that he was a bit embarrassed to be caught out by the lad.

"Missed you?" Eggsy said. "You've been working back to back missions for days. Just thought I would stop by and say hi."

Merlin smiled. "Hello then."

"Hello. I'll be at mine tonight, stop by when you finish, I'll make you beans on toast." Eggsy shimmied over to Merlin and kissed him. "Need to get you on Strictly Come Dancing with those moves."

"Oh shut it, I have moves when they are called for." Merlin's voice was a low growl.

"Yeah you do." Eggsy gave him another kiss. "And you can prove that tonight. Don't be late." Eggsy left whistling.

Merlin smiled a little and did a quick little extra shimmy before sitting back at his desk. It was a little earlier than he thought when he finished up and went to Eggsy's. He knocked on the door and was surprise when Eggsy answered it in an apron.

Only an apron. 

Eggsy tugged him into the flat. "Why don't you show me some of those moves you were bragging about Quinn?" He was never Daddy at Eggsy's.

Merlin smiled slowly. "I'd be happy to, but I thought I was promised some food."

"It can wait. Hungry for something else right now."

"Jesus lad, try a little harder on the cheesy sex lines." Merlin sighed.

"Oh you love it." Eggsy replied. He turned around so that Merlin could see just how little was on under the apron. He was thrown over Merlin's shoulder and carried to the bedroom within the minute.

****************************

Eggsy was carrying a package when he came into Merlin's office. "Hey Merlin, why are your sisters sending me mail?"

Merlin didn't look up from his clipboard. "Which one?"

Eggsy looked at the note card that had been included. "All of them." Merlin paused his work. "Note card said that they thought I might enjoy seeing a softer side to you."

Merlin carefully put down his work and stood. "Give me that package Eggsy."

"Why, it a bomb or something?"

"Or something. Please lad." Merlin tried to not make his voice sound desperate, but Eggsy caught a bit of it.

Eggsy looked in the package. "Dvds?" He looked up to see Merlin turn pale. "Oh god, did your sisters send me like porn of you babe? Because what the hell?"

"Christ I wish it was porn." Merlin muttered. He moved towards Eggsy but Eggsy backed away. "Eggsy, ye have no need to see what is on those, it is just my sisters being jerks. This has the stamp of Bobby all over it. Hand them over."

Eggsy tapped the side of his glasses. "Harry I think I have embarrassing intel on Merlin. Advice?"

Merlin began to move quicker and Eggsy began to jog backwards.

Harry's voice rang through the whole office. "Run to me Eggsy and I will provide sanctuary."

Merlin growled and Eggsy blew him a kiss. "Sorry babe, needs must." And Eggsy took off running.

Merlin chase but fuck Eggsy was fast and the door to Harry's office slammed and locked as Merlin turned the groan.

"Please if ye love me lad, you'll nae watch those videos." Merlin yelled as he banged on the door.

"Oh this will be good. Play them!" Harry cheered. 

Merlin sat on the ground across from Harry's door and just hoped that Eggsy would still want to be with him after watching them.

An hour later the door opened and out came Eggsy looking stunned. He came and sat down next to Merlin. "Harry's making copies."

"Of course he is." Merlin banged his head against the wall.

"You had hair." Eggsy says still seeming stunned.

Merlin looked at him. "Aye, did ye think I was always bald?"

Eggsy smiled a little. "No?"

"Jesus lad."

"Well, just hard to picture innit? I'm used to my Merlin, my bald sexy as fuck Merlin." Eggsy shrugged. "Seeing young Merlin is a trip. Young with hair Merlin. So that was you as a Uni boy then. Dancing."

"Aye." Merlin groaned. "I hate Bobby."

"You look so..."

"Prat-like, prattish? Poncy, silly?"

"Sauve." Eggsy settled on. "You had so much fucking flair there Merlin. Jesus you joked about having moves, but didn't think you meant like that. That was competitive dancing shit."

"Of a sort, more for fun than serious competition." Merlin supplied. "The girl needed a partner, and we were good friends, so I helped."

"Fluid. You looked like you were made of water." Eggsy smiled at him. "Fuck you were gorgeous."

Merlin slung an arm over his shoulder. "Thank ye lad." He kissed Eggsy's head.

"Think you could dance like that with me sometime?" Eggsy sounded hopeful.

"If ye like."

"I like."

"Very well then. And there were only videos of my Uni days?" Merlin asked idly.

"Yeah why?"

"Good, my parents still have well hidden the ballet ones from high school." Merlin winked and stood.

Eggsy's eyes widen. "There are more dancing videos?" He took a breath. "I HAVE A MIGHTY NEED!!!!!"

"No." And Merlin ran.

"Oh I'm getting those videos." Eggsy shouted as he chased after the man.

******************************

"Come on babe, let's just fuck already." Eggsy whined as Merlin tied his hands to Merlin's bed. "Not that this isn't fun, but been gone 5 days on boring ass meetings with Harry, please just fuck me?" Eggsy batted his eyes. "Please Daddy?" He loved how saying that still always made Merlin stumble just a bit. But Merlin finished the knots and checked Eggsy's fingers.

"All good?" He asked.

"Yeah, feel fine. Horny and lonely but fine." Eggsy shifted on the bed. "I was promised a good time."

"And a good time ye shall have." Merlin agreed. He stepped away from Eggsy and smiled down at him. "My darling boy, ye look beautiful like this."

Eggsy shook his head, not liking those words at this moment. "I'm not -"

Merlin smiled. "I know, I'm sorry. Sometimes they just apply to ye whether ye are little or not. I'll be more careful."

"Thanks babe." Eggsy said a little relieved. He tilted his head a little. "Wait, why are you in a suit?"

Merlin smiled. "Because it makes my plans...more enjoyable for us both."

"What plans?" Eggsy is both nervous and excited.

"These ones." Merlin goes over and presses play on his music. Marvin Gaye's smooth voice slides into the room. "Forgive the old choice." And Merlin starts to sway to the beat a little and slowly pulls his suit jacket off.

"Holy shit, are you stripping for me?" Eggsy asked.

Merlin just smiled in response as he kept moving. He danced to the beat, slowly taking off piece after piece of clothing, occasionally he gave a kiss or stroke to Eggsy and when Merlin was down to trousers, braces handing at his sides, Eggsy was babbling, begging him to shag him.

"Oh but I'm not done yet." Merlin protested.

"Please Daddy, can't take much more." Eggsy begged.

Merlin popped the button on his trousers and slide them down, and Eggsy groaned when he realized that Merlin wasn't wearing pants.

"Oh thank christ, you are done and we can fuck." Eggsy sighed in relief.

Merlin's grin was wicked and he stayed just a bit away from Eggsy and began to stroke himself. "Not quite done yet lad."

Eggsy whimpered. This was going to kill him.

Merlin settled on top of Eggsy and began to rock his hips to the beat of the song.

"Fuck me, Merlin is giving me a lap dance." Eggsy breathed out. There were far worse ways to die. 

*******************************

Eggsy sat in his bedroom and was in a funk. But he was a big guy and Daddy didn't need to set parental controls on the t.v. He just wanted to watch the movie, zombies were cool. And he wasn't going to get scared. It wasn't like last time. He wouldn't have nightmares this time, he could totally handle it! Stupid Daddy. Eggsy kicked his bed a little. Wouldn't have had bad dreams. Probably.

He heard music come from downstairs and was determined to ignore it. He kicked the bed again. It was loud music, not the sort that Daddy usually listened to. Seemed more shouty than dancy like what Daddy liked.

Eggsy went to open his door and the music got even louder. He crept down the stairs, determined Daddy wouldn't see him crack and come out. He would just spy, he was totally a super awesome super duper secret spy so he would just do some spying and then disappear and Daddy would never know.

Eggsy peaked around the corner of the living room and gasped. "Daddy!" He stumbled into the room. "What are you doing with Paddington?"

"Dancing." Daddy said as he spun around and began to jump up and down with the bear.

"Don't look like dancing, looks like tantrum." Eggsy said.

"Sort of like what you threw a bit ago?" Daddy asked never slowing his jumping around.

"Well...yeah." Eggsy bit his lip. "But funner." He giggled when Daddy made Paddington head bang. "Paddington doesn't dance like that."

"How does he dance then?" Daddy asked. "Show me." He held out the bear to Eggsy.

Eggsy came closer and grabbed the bear. "He dances like this." And Eggsy and his bear began to dance around to the loud music. And Merlin joined in. 

After a few songs they were all breathless and collapsed on the ground.

"Feel better my darling boy?" Daddy asked.

"I could have watched it." Eggsy said with a pout.

"Aye, if ye had asked and we watched it together, so I could make sure ye were okay." Merlin replied. "But downloading the movie without permission after what happened last time you watched zombies? Nae."

"Oh. You don't like monster movies." Eggsy said, as he hugged his bear.

"But ye do and I like to make my boy happy." Daddy answered. "Next time, don't go behind my back and then be shocked when there are consequences."

"Yes Daddy." Eggsy rolled over to snuggle in a bit. "Can we dance more? That was fun, the jumping made me feel good."

Daddy smiled. "Of course my boy, we can dance whenever ye would like. Do ye want more loud jumping music, or do ye want to learn how to dance like Sleeping Beauty and Prince Philip?"

Eggsy gasped. "Prince Philip!" He sat up. "Paddington can learn too, right, be like the owl in the movie?"

"I might even have a cloak up in the storage area we can use." Merlin said.

Eggsy collapsed against him in a giant hug.

"Dancing Daddy is one of my favourite versions of you." Eggsy said.

Merlin just gave him a gentle kiss.


	5. How He Leaves, How He Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1st half of this chapter is pure feels and fluff and the second half is pure filth (it is rough sex so avoid after the asterix if not in the mood for it).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> side note to the story itself: with this chapter I will have written more than 1 million words here on AO3. I want to thank all my writers for their amazing support and encouragement.

"NO!!!!" Eggsy yelled. "You...you...big dumb mean bogie monster." 

Merlin's eyes widened in shock. "I beg your pardon young man?"

"You heard me! I hate you!" Eggsy grabbed his batman bear and ran for his room. 

Merlin ran a hand down his face, so tired and frustrated. He didn't want to go, but the fact of the matter was that he was needed in the field. It happened rarely but when it did it was always an emergency. Too many lives depended on him being out his door in the next twenty minutes. But he hadn't gone in the field in 8 months, and he had never left Eggsy when Eggsy was feeling little. Merlin rubbed a hand over his heart as he climbed the steps.

He knocked on Eggsy's door. "Eggsy..."

"No." Eggsy yelled. Merlin heard a thump against the door and figured it was Batman - Eggsy would never throw Paddington. "Go away. Just go." And then Eggsy said, just loud enough for Merlin to hear, "You are just like the rest, leaving."

Merlin's head dropped against the door as his heart thumped to his feet. "I...am sorry my darling boy, but sometimes...sometimes what we want doesn't matter against what other people need." He pressed his hand against the door. "It is never my choice to leave ye my darling boy. I love ye. I'll bring you back a treat." And Merlin left.

Eggsy screamed and ripped apart his room a bit before he collapsed and started to cry. He hugged Paddington close and sobbed his heart out as he realized that what Daddy going on a field trip might mean and that he never said a proper goodbye. And now he was alone and had to figure out how to feel like Eggsy when he felt so scared and small. He hid under the blankets and behind Paddington's fur and hated that he felt like such a baby, but couldn't resist putting his thumb in his mouth. His tears slowly stopped and he fell into an anxious sleep.

 

He didn't know how long he had been out, it had to only be a few minutes but he heard a noise downstairs. "Daddy!" He yelled. Eggsy was so happy, Daddy had come back and not gone on the stupid field trip and he could say sorry and Daddy would hug him and it would all be okay and Paddington wouldn't be scared or sad anymore. Eggsy flung open the door and went tearing down the steps. He grabbed the bannister and swung himself into the living room. "Daddy you didn't go!" He yelled happily, only to realize it wasn't Daddy standing in the living room.

It was Uncle Harry.

Harry.

Oh god.

"Umm...sorry sir." Eggsy tried to remember what he would say if he was big. He squeezed Paddington and then dropped him quickly.

 _Grow up grow up grow up straighten up grow up grow up grow up_. Eggsy's brain screamed. He straightened his shoulders. "Da - Merlin isn't here, he got called on a field trip, uh, emergency mission. Can I help you Harry?" Eggsy winced, the words felt so wrong in his mouth.

Harry smiled and picked up the bag at his feet. It was an Avengers back pack. "I know. I'm so sorry little Egg, I'm the one who had to send him out. But he didn't want to leave you alone, not right now, so here I am."

Eggsy tried to bluff. "I"m fine Harry." He scrunched his face. "And what did you call me?"

"Little Egg." Harry replied. He held up the bag again.

"That's stupid and I don't need you." Eggsy didn't think and stuck out his tongue before he grabbed Paddington and stomped over and sat on the steps.

But Harry didn't leave. He just stayed in the living room. With that back pack. An Avengers back pack. Cartoon Avengers too, not the stupid big movies that were too much talking and not enough Hulk being awesome and smashing stuff.

Eggsy didn't want to see Harry though, Harry might be mean about Paddington. "What's in the backpack?" Eggsy shouted from the stairs. Harry didn't answer. Fine then, Eggsy didn't care.

He certainly didn't care 10 minutes later when he went in and sat on the sofa across from Harry.

"You are missing someone." Harry said when he looked at Eggsy.

Eggsy shrugged. He didn't need Paddington, he didn't want Harry to think he was a baby.

"My bear was named, Sir Willem Roddington Shetland the third. He had a monocle and a top hat." Harry said. "I still have him."

Eggsy scowled a little. "You're making fun."

"No I'm not." Harry looked at him. "Your Daddy didn't want to leave, little Egg. He isn't going to be gone forever. And he asked me to watch you until -" Harry let the sentence trail off.

Eggsy sniffled. "Could be gone forever." He scrubbed at his eyes. "Field trips go bad and I was mean." His lip quivered. He desperately wished Paddington was in his arms. 

Harry hurried into the hall and got the bear and came back and tucked it into Eggsy's arms. Eggsy held Paddington up so he covered Eggsy's face.

"Your Daddy knows how much you love him." Harry said softly. He looked at his watch. "Do you have your glasses Eggsy?"

Eggsy bit his lip. "They're away. Don't wear them when -" He didn't finish his sentence.

Harry understood. He didn't wear a pair anymore, his robotic eye having what he needed, but he took a pair out of his pocket and put them on. He tapped the side, "Merlin do you have a moment?"

Eggsy looked around Paddington's fur to Harry.

Harry took the glasses off and put them on Eggsy's face. "He can only talk for a minute."

"Hello my darling boy." Merlin was in the loo of the plane. "Are ye okay?"

"I'm sorry Daddy." Eggsy cried a little. "I'm sorry I was mean and yelled and called you names and said mean things and was a horrible stupid boy and you don't have to love me anymore or play with me or cut up my steak or chase away the closet monsters and I'll be good and clean my room and -"

"Eggsy, breathe, sweetie, breathe for Daddy." Merlin's voice was soothing. "Come lad, breathe for Daddy in and out." They breathe together for a moment.

"I love you Daddy." Eggsy said when he was calmer. "You have to come home you didn't hug Paddington bye." 

"I know I feel really bad about that. I'll come home soon, and I'll even bring a gift to make it up to Paddington and perhaps one for my darling boy for being so brave for Paddington. You be good for your Uncle Harry." There was a call. "I have to go my darling boy. I love you."

"I -" But Merlin hung up before Eggsy could finish. Eggsy handed the glasses back to Harry. "Thanks Harry."

"You are welcome little Egg." Harry replied. "Would you want to call me Uncle Harry right now?" Eggsy hesitated and then nodded. "Very well then." Harry held up the backpack, "Bet a surprise would feel good right now wouldn't it?"

Eggsy took the bag, "Thank you Uncle Harry."

"Lovely manners little Egg, your Daddy is horrible at saying thank you, you know. Quite a rude fellow." Eggsy giggled a bit at that. He opened the bag and saw some sweets and a new bit of lego and a puzzle book and -

"Uncle Harry!" Eggsy pulled the Labyrinth bluray out of the bag. "This is rated PG. Daddy says no PG."

Harry smiled. "Ah but Daddy is on a field trip and you are with your Uncle Harry. I can keep a secret if you can." Eggsy laughed and held out his pinkie and Harry held out his. "Now how about some popcorn?"

They settled in and watched the movie and Eggsy only had to hide a couple times and he drifted closer to Harry on the couch and was cuddling by the end. "Uncle Harry?"

"Yes little Egg?" Harry asked as he turned the dvd off.

"You've known Daddy forever, like forever and ever and ever because you are both old."

"Not that old young man." Harry said sternly but with a smile. "But yes we've known each other a long time."

Eggsy nodded and plucked at Paddington's fur. "Do you...is there...does he...am I...doeshelikebeingadaddy." Eggsy finished in a rush.

Harry smiled and hugged Eggsy. "He loves being your Daddy very much. This is something you need to talk about with him, I think when you are both of a similar mind, but there is an extra pep in his step after he's been with his darling boy."

Eggsy flushed at hearing those words from Harry. "Okay." Eggsy's tummy didn't hurt from feelings anymore, now just from too much chocolate and popcorn. Daddy never ever let him have both.

"Now, I do believe this is well past your bedtime little Egg. Your daddy gave me a list of rules, I've mostly been ignoring them."

"Not sleepy. Wanna play with you Uncle Harry." Eggsy protested.

Harry smiled a bit. "How about you go get into your pajamas and then we can watch a little more telly together."

"Jim jams." Eggsy corrected him.

Harry stared. "No I refuse to call them that."

"Jim jams, jim jams, jim jams." Eggsy sang.

Harry pushed him off the sofa and gave him a swat on the bum. "Go put on your pjs and then we will have a nice glass of milk and maybe a cartoon."

Eggsy laughed and went upstairs and came down a little later in his cowboy pjs. "Cute. Does your Daddy have matching ones?"

Eggsy nodded. "Yes I picked them out! But he says he feels silly in them."

"You should both wear them and take a selfie and send it to me." Harry suggested. "That would be fun wouldn't it?"

"You just want to laugh at Daddy." Eggsy said.

"I would never." Harry protested. 

"Silly Uncle Harry." Eggsy settled back on the couch.

"Sweet little Egg." Harry replied. "Come have a snuggle and enjoy your telly." Eggsy shuffled over. Uncle Harry felt different than Daddy, but just as safe. "Do you shoot the sleeping dart at the monsters under the bed too?"

"Of course little Egg. No monster will touch you tonight." Harry promised.

"Okay, good." Eggsy yawned. "Put on Bugs Bunny. I like old stuff."

"Not so old." Harry protested even as he put on the cartoon and laughed along with Eggsy. They watched until Eggsy was yawning more often than not. "To bed young man."

"Not sleepy."

"That is one impressive lie." Harry said.

"Daddy carries me." Eggsy held out his arms.

"Good for Daddy, I am not him. I will hold you hand up to bed." Harry stood and held out his hand.

"Carry Paddington then." Eggsy said and Harry handled the bear delicately and once upstairs he tucked the two in.

"Tomorrow we clean this mess up. And maybe make scones."

"Blueberry?" Eggsy asked.

"If you like." Harry kissed his forehead and then made a show of checking under the bed. "Sleep well little Egg."

"Night Uncle Harry." Eggsy replied.

 

The next morning they cleaned and baked and had fun and over the afternoon Harry could see Eggsy slowing aging himself up. When he disappeared to take a shower and returned, Harry looked at him. "Hello Eggsy." He knew he was addressing his colleague and friend.

"Harry." Eggsy's voice was deeper, harder. "Little Egg is an absurd nickname."

"I thought it suited." Harry broke open a scone. "How do you feel?"

"Dunno." Eggsy grabbed a scone as well. "Are you going to remove me from active duty?"

"Why would I do that?" Harry asked surprised.

"Because I'm mental." 

"You are not." Harry answered. He looked at Eggsy. "You have a coping mechanism for your life and your work, I would think that that keeps you rather sane."

"Tell me you weren't grossed out when Merlin told you." Eggsy looked at him. "Tell me you didn't think freak."

"Bors blows stuff up, Percival is one of the most respected doms in the city, Tristan gambles, Kay is disturbingly serious about cosplay."

"And you?" Eggsy asked.

Harry smiled. "I drink. I've done fight clubs. We all cope in our own ways Eggsy. You and Merlin slid into this and it works. I'll not think less of you for getting what you need in this life." He grinned. "Plus there are a great deal of movies I wish to see again and you will indulge me I'd imagine."

"So you don't mind..." Eggsy looked at him.

"Oh Eggsy, we are family anyways, so adding that dimension isn't so much a stretch." Harry shrugged. "Eat your scone."

"Shut it." Eggsy said and he took a huge bite.

They left, Eggsy not wanting to be there while big and without Merlin and Harry made him promise to call if he needed Harry for any reason. Eggsy agreed and went to his flat, which felt lonely but he coped. Merlin had to cope with how often Eggsy was gone, Eggsy could do the same.

 

********************************************

Eggsy was making himself breakfast, when he heard his door open. He palmed a blade and when he heard movement just a few metres behind him he turned and threw it. Merlin managed to duck it - just. 

"Not bad, ye've been practicing." Merlin said, voice weary. 

Eggsy looked Merlin over carefully. "Are you injured?"

"Nae just tired." Merlin said.

"Okay then." Eggsy turned off the stove top and moved the pan away. He wiped his hands on a tea towel and then bolted. Merlin wasn't quite braced enough and Eggsy's tackle hug took them both to the ground. "Fuck babe, fuck I'm sorrry, I'm so sorry." Eggsy said in between hard, biting kisses. 

Merlin matched him kiss for desperate kiss. "I know Eggsy. I'm sorry I had to go."

"No more fucking missions for you - you are the quartermaster, so you stick with mastering your quarter." Eggsy said as he pulled back a little.

"It does nae work like that lad." Merlin said as he stroked Eggsy's hair.

"Fuck that, yeah it does." Eggsy said. "You stay safe, because we are all screwed without you. I can't do this without you Quinn."

"Yes you could, ye are so strong." Merlin said. "My Eggsy, so brave, so amazing." Merlin pulled his head down for a soft kiss.

"No. No." Eggsy said. "Or at least you never leave like how you did then. We never leave for a mission again with hard words in between us."

"That at least I can agree with." Merlin said.

"Good." Eggsy got off of Merlin and tugged him up and dragged him down the hall to his bedroom. "Get the fuck naked right now."

"Eggsy I need to warn ye -" Merlin said.

Eggsy was already stripped of his shirt. "Get naked." He ordered.

Merlin looked sad and took off all his clothes and Eggsy saw the bites on Merlin's chest. He stared at them. Merlin reached out for Eggsy. "I needed a distraction for the guards, getting caught hooking up in a closet was most effective. There was no penetration. I'm sorry Eggsy. There was no way, no time to talk about it with you before."

Eggsy nodded dumbly and kept staring at the marks. He never marked up Merlin, Merlin marked him up. "Do they hurt?"

"Nae." Merlin said.

"And you've showered since some rando fucker touched you?"

"Aye, several times." Merlin said.

"Okay then. And they really don't hurt?" Eggsy stepped closer and ghosted a finger over the mark on Merlin's shoulder.

"Nae, why?" Merlin asked.

"Because they are going to." And Eggsy sank his teeth and mouth onto the mark and sucked and bit, overlaying the bruise with his own.

"Oh holy fuck." Merlin groaned. His knees went weak and he was happy the bed was right there.

Eggsy grinned. "I'm gonna hurt you Daddy. Remind you who you belong to." Eggsy pushed Merlin back and began to suck at another of the bruises. Merlin's breath left him in a rush. Eggsy marked over 4 of the spots and realized how hard Merlin was. "Does it turn out that my Daddy also likes it to hurt a little?"

"Perhaps." Merlin replied. He tugged at Eggsy's hair hard and flipped them over so that Eggsy was on bottom. He sank his teeth into Eggsy's neck to hear Eggsy shout. "But so do you."

"No, I'm in charge Daddy." Eggsy growled. 

Merlin nipped him again. "Ye want control - take it." He held Eggsy down firmly and kept kissing him.

Eggsy bucked up but got nowhere. He feinted a headbutt and when Merlin flinched he got a leg out and managed to toss them both off the bed and Merlin landed on bottom. Eggsy swiftly scooted down Merlin and grabbed his cock, with an almost painful grip. He tugged and twisted and Merlin lost all thought. "Do you want to come down my throat or in my ass Daddy?" He tugged hard again and squeezed Merlin's balls with his other hand. Merlin stays very still and Eggsy moves his hand to press a finger against Merlin's hole. "Or maybe...maybe I need to fuck my Daddy."

Merlin grinned and moved fast and a short, soft jab to Eggsy's throat distracted him and Eggsy was once again pinned. "Oh lad, ye think ye can get the drop on me." It was his turn to grab a cock a little too hard, only he pushed down and added his mouth, and took all of Eggsy's cock into his mouth, nose brushing pubic hair. He pressed his teeth just a little against the skin and didn't move for a moment, just let Eggsy feel that edge before he pulled off dragging his tongue along the bottom of Eggsy's cock. He sat up a bit on top of Eggsy's chest to hold him in place and to reach into the drawer for the lube. He then grabbed a couple pillows from Eggsy's bed and put them under Eggsy's head. "Open wide." He said and Eggsy took a quick breath because Merlin's cock was quickly down his throat and Merlin began to fuck his face hard. Eggsy was crying just a little from the lack of air and choking feeling and loving every moment of it. He reached down to grip his cock and Merlin pinched his ear hard. "My boy, that belongs to me, no touching."

Eggsy pinched Merlin's ass hard in retaliation. 

"Well now, do we really think that was a good idea?" Merlin asked as he pulled out of Eggsy's mouth. He moved fast and had Eggsy up and bent over the bed.

"Stop being so fucking strong." Eggsy complained. He tried to fight but Merlin had his arm bent back just an inch away from dislocating Eggsy's shoulder.

"Nae." Merlin growled. He brought his hand down hard on Eggsy's ass. Eggsy swore and got three more swift and brutal smacks. "What do we properly say?"

"Bite me old man." Eggsy said. Merlin twisted Eggsy's arm just a little more and few more hits came down. Eggsy couldn't breathe it hurt so much. Merlin kicked his legs open a little more and scraped his fingernails over Eggsy's balls, and tugged at Eggsy's leaking cock. "Daddy, please?"

Merlin hit his ass again. "Please what?"

"Please Daddy just fuck me, pleasepleaseplease." Merlin hit his ass twice more. "Thank you for the spanks, Daddy, now please fuck my face or my ass or something, just please Daddy."

"No." Merlin said. Eggsy gasped in shock. "Get on the bed and lie down on your back and be still." He stepped away from Eggsy who scrambled to obey. Eggsy lay there and his eyes widened as Merlin grabbed the lube and coated his fingers and began to work himself open.

"Daddy?" Eggsy asked, enraptured by the sight.

"Fuck toys don't talk." Merlin said mildly as he worked a second finger in. He knew he was rushing a little but he wanted the burn right now. He grabbed a condom from the drawer. "Put that on."

Eggsy complied, hands shaking.

"Hands on the headboard." Merlin said and when Eggsy gripped it tight he said, "Good toy." Eggsy moaned and shivered.

Merlin figured he was prepped enough and added a little extra lube to the condom. He climbed on top of Eggsy and in a smooth motion took Eggsy into his body. 

Eggsy shouted at the feeling, it had been so long since he fucked someone.

Merlin pinched his nipples hard and tugged, stretching the skin out.

"Sorry Daddy, I'll be good." Eggsy bit his lip hard in order to keep silent.

"Do or ye will not come today." Merlin warned as he set a brutal pace, riding Eggsy's cock. Eggsy was trying not to cry to make a noise even as Merlin's body felt so tight and hot around him and Merlin began to pinch and tug at his nipples more.

Eggsy cried and said. "I need to come Daddy, please, I can't, I just can't, it feels so..." 

Merlin bent down and bit Eggsy's shoulder, the pain distracted Eggsy just enough to hold his orgasm at bay. Merlin straightened and moved harder and faster, and he began to fist his own cock.

"Please Daddy." Eggsy whimpered softly, eyes pleading, red from his tears.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Oh fine, toy, ye can come if ye need to."

"Thank you Daddy." And Eggsy stopped trying to hold himself back and moved his hips and left himself feel everything and soon was coming, sobbing Daddy over and over again.

Merlin pulled off Eggsy's cock and moved up Eggsy's chest. "Open wide." He said and Eggsy obeyed and Merlin came into his mouth. He nodded and Eggsy swallowed. 

They rested a few minutes and then Merlin got up and prepared them a warm bath. They checked each other over carefully and kissed the bruises and marks better and settled in for a relaxing soak.

"Too much?" Merlin asked quietly after a few minutes.

"For always? Yes. For right then? No." Eggsy replied. "Felt...good, right after how we didn't say goodbye right. Reminded me we do belong to each other."

"Good." Merlin stroked his hair. "I'm sorry about the marks and that they had to happen."

"You've watched me fuck other people for the job." Eggsy replied. "We work it out. Not going to break us Quinn."

"Aye, we're the strong sort." Merlin agreed.

They stayed in the tub until the water cooled and their stomachs rumbled. They got out and put on robes and went to the kitchen and made some food.

They smiled happily, both sore and content, when Eggsy remembered.

"You brought me back a toy surprise right?"

Merlin laughed. "Aye. Ye can have it later when we are at my place. Even brought one for Paddington too."

"Such a good daddy." Eggsy winked.

"Such a good boy." Merlin replied.


	6. How She Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay so we are going to get a bigger picture of Michelle here and it isn't a good picture. I am good to Michelle in most of my stories but here I am...unforgiving. Generally when Eggsy ages down he is about 7/8 but here he'll be going down a little bit younger.

Merlin was whistling as walked home from the tailor shop. It had been a good day. Bors only caused one explosion on his mission, Harry actually completed some paperwork and Merlin had managed to adapt a new amnesia dart that allowed for hypnotic suggestion to be put in. All in all it was a good day to be Quartermaster and Merlin stopped at the shop and bought himself a nice beer to celebrate. Eggsy was planning to have his sister over for the night, so Merlin was debating watching a movie or playing some mindless computer games. He approached his door and the hair on his arms stood up. It was closed but Merlin could tell it had been opened. 

He went cautiously in and realized quickly that Eggsy was over. His glasses and tie were on the front table, shoes kicked off. Merlin huffed a little. As much as he loved his boy, he had to admit that he was looking forward to a bachelor night. He wondered which Eggsy was over, and the boy was going to get a stern talking to, if he came over because he was feeling small and didn't text Merlin. He was way too young to be home alone, no matter how much the lad protested.

"Eggsy?" Merlin called out as he put the beer in the fridge. There was no sign that Eggsy had had a snack and the boy was murder about putting his glass in the sink. Merlin checked the family before he headed upstairs. He could hear water in the bathroom. "Eggsy?" He called again, but there was no response. Merlin kept a knife at the ready and knocked on the bathroom door. "Lad?" Merlin asked as he pushed it open. He quickly returned the knife to its sheath and went into the room. "Eggsy what happened?"

Eggsy was at the sink, wearing only his dress shirt and scrubbing at the front of his trousers, his pants a wet lump in the bath. He was also quietly crying. His hands looked almost raw and Merlin realized how hot he had the water. He pulled the trousers out of Eggsy's death grip and drained the sink, and winced at the scald of the water. One look at Eggsy's face and Merlin knew he wasn't dealing with his lover. "My darling boy, what is this about then? Ye are supposed to call me when ye are coming over."

Eggsy's shoulders began to shake and his silent tears became loud. 

Merlin's heart broke. He began to pull Eggsy into a hug but Eggsy pushed him away.

"No, no touch, I'm still icky." Eggsy's voice was small.

Merlin looked at him carefully. "Eggsy, sweetie?"

"I messed my pants Daddy." Eggsy cried a little more and swiped his fingers under his nose. "Was trying to clean before you saw."

"If you spilled, that's okay baby." Merlin said, still a little confused. He bit his lip, Eggsy didn't like to be called baby. He was even more worried when Eggsy didn't protest at that nickname.

"Didn't spill. Held it as long as I could, Mama was yelling and you don't interrupt when she's yelling. Have to listen or you go to the bad boy spot. Only had to wee and tried to go and she yelled more." Eggsy sniffled a little. "Held it promise, I'm a big boy, but she then got more shouty and it scared me and I...just a little."

"Oh Eggsy." Merlin stroked his hair. "Why didn't you change there, you have a spare set of clothes at her place."

"Mama kicked me out for being icky, not allowed to play with Daisy if I'm so gross. I'm dis...dis...disgusting and icky and stupid and I hid it with my coat and came here." Eggsy's eyes were full of tears. "I'm sorry I'm icky Daddy, you can punish me for being so icky."

Merlin kept his hands soft and his voice calm. "It was just an accident lad, ye aren't icky in the least." He kissed Eggsy's forehead. "I will take care of your pants and trousers, let's get you into a nice bubble bath okay?"

Eggsy nodded but didn't try to get out of his shirt. Merlin grabbed the pants out of the tub and put the plug in. He poured in the bubble bath and got the water going before he began to undo Eggsy's shirt. Eggsy let him strip of the last of the clothes and help him into the tub. Merlin grabbed the soggy pile and ran it down to the laundry tub and hurried back up. Eggsy was just sitting in the water hugging his knees. Merlin turned the tap off and gave Eggsy his favourite toys.

Eggsy shook his head. "Icky boys don't get toys. Stupid boy gets no treats." 

Merlin looked at him. "Eggsy, my darling boy, that is not true."

Eggsy nods, eyes big. "Mum always said, had to be true, mums don't lie." And Eggsy tried to hide it from Merlin but there wasn't space for that and for the first time Merlin saw Eggsy suck his thumb.

"Oh my boy." Merlin said sadly.

Eggsy quickly pulled his thumb out of his mouth and was clearly struggling with himself.

"Shhh, baby boy, shhh." Merlin said as he sat beside the tub. "I am not mad at you."

"Icky children suck thumbs, babies suck thumbs." Eggsy said.

"Oh my wee little Egg, if ye need the comfort of it, that is okay."

"Uncle Harry calls me little egg, funny when you say it."

Merlin laughs a little. "I suppose it does sound silly from me doesn't it?" He pored warm water over Eggsy's head. "Hmmm birds come from eggs, what if I called ye my sweet little sparrow?"

Eggsy nods. "Okay Daddy, but not all the time."

"Nae, it is a special nickname for when ye are a little extra cuddly." Merlin poured a little more water, Eggsy liked the feel of it. "Is your mum nice Daddy?" Eggsy snuck his thumb back into his mouth.

"Nice? I don't know about that." Merlin smiled. "Clever, very clever, strong. Fearless, have to be with five children. But, kind, she always listens to us, believed whatever story we came to her with. Once Jay was convinced she saw a fairy, and Kennedy wanted to find it, to study it. So Mummy packed us all up and took us camping for three days to hunt the thing down. Never found it, fairies are even smarter and trickier than humans, but it was a grand adventure."

"Fairies aren't real Daddy." Eggsy said before he popped the thumb back in.

"Little Sparrow, how can ye say such a thing!" Merlin sat back shocked and Eggsy giggled a little. "Jay is many, many things my boy, but never a liar. And stranger things have been found in the woods around my home. Trees move, creatures in the ponds that just shouldn't exist, flowers that change colours. Morgan has spent her life writing about those woods and the magic they contain."

"My bedtime books!" Eggsy gasped.

"Aye, those stories are written by my sister." Merlin smiled at his boy. "She tells a good tale doesn't she?"

Eggsy nodded and yawned a little.

"Okay little sparrow, out of the tub." Merlin grabbed a towel and held it open. Eggsy scrambled out of the bath and into the warm softness. "Thomas jim jams tonight?" Merlin asked and Eggsy nodded. Merlin picked up Eggsy and put him on his bed and went to Eggsy's room and got the jim jams.

He helped Eggsy into them and tucked the boy into his own bed.

"I can sleep in mine. I'm big." Eggsy said, even as he snuggled down more. Merlin went back to his room and got Paddington.

"I know you are little sparrow, I know. But Daddy is feeling a little scared tonight and could use such a brave big boy and his noble bear to help keep him safe. Are ye up to the task?" Eggsy grinned and gave a small salute from under the blankets. "Good boy, now I am going to have a quick shower and then prepare us a light supper. I'll turn on cartoons for you and ye stay nice and snuggled until then." Merlin flicked the t.v. on and turned on what was usually a favourite show.

"Too scary Daddy." Eggsy said quietly. Merlin looked at him and realized that Eggsy was definitely a bit younger than usual.

"Winnie the Pooh?" Merlin asked.

"Tigger bounces silly." Eggsy said.

"Very well then." And Merlin put the movie on. He went and gave Eggsy another kiss. "Back in a mo."

Merlin quickly showered and went to the kitchen and made them sandwiches. He thought of the nice beer he had bought and left it in the fridge and poured them both some juice. He went upstairs and paused the movie to Eggsy's protests. 

"Daddy, Tigger gonna jump." Eggsy pouted.

"And he can jump after dinner." Merlin said and held out his hand. "Paddington's place is set too."

Eggsy crawled out of bed and went downstairs where he picked at his sandwich. Merlin gave him some fruit salad and that went over better. "Snuggle now Daddy, keep monsters away?"

"Okay little sparrow." Merlin said. He hustled Eggsy back to bed and they snuggled and watched sweet movies until Eggsy was tired.

"I'm sorry I'm an icky bad boy Daddy, I'll be better." Eggsy said quietly. His thumb slid back into his mouth.

"Oh my little sparrow, you are the best boy ever." Merlin promised. "Now hush your worries. And drift off." Merlin rubbed his boy's back until Eggsy drifted off. The lad whimpered in his sleep a little bit.

Merlin tapped the side of his glasses. "Harry I want surveillance on Michelle and a thorough report on her history." He said quietly.

"Do we need to extract Daisy?" Harry asked.

"Unknown yet. Analysis required first." Merlin paused. "Eggsy...he wasn't right tonight Harry and I'll know the reason why."

"Understood." Harry said simply. 

Merlin cuddled Eggsy, stayed awake most of the night just to make sure his little sparrow wasn't too broken.

*************************

It was two more days before adult Eggsy made an appearance. Merlin was making blueberry johnny cakes, more worried than ever, when he felt Eggsy walk up behind him and wrap his arms around Merlin's waist.

"I don't think you understand how much you keep me whole Quinn." Eggsy said. He kissed Merlin's neck and went to sit at the table. 

Merlin brought coffee and food over. He sat down and they ate in silence.

"She's never hit me you know." Eggs finally said. "Has never laid a finger on Daisy."

Merlin carefully put his fork and knife down and decided it better to clear the dishes. "Shall we go to the sofa?"

"Yeah." Eggsy sighed. "Yeah." They walk over and Merlin held open his arms but Eggsy shook his head. "I go in there, I won't be able to do this."

"Very well then." Merlin said.

"She weren't never meant to be a mum. Just...it just isn't in her I don't think." Eggsy said. "And she definitely weren't meant to be a marine wife and mum. She lacks that patience you need and dad was gone weeks, months. She drank too much, never drugs, I don't think, and she just -" Eggsy stopped talking.

"She just what Eggsy?" Merlin asked.

"She was mean. Nasty words, ones that hurt, blamed me for him being gone, for her not having fun, I was fat, I was weak, I was a mess." Eggsy shrugged. "I was never...I just was never what she wanted and she wanted to spread the misery I guess."

"What about Lee, why didn't he stop this?" Merlin wondered.

"She played well when he was home, and each time, thought maybe it would stay like that after he left, and it did for a bit. Until she went on the prowl, found a bloke, got drunk." Eggsy smiled sadly. "She's better with Daisy, still critical, bit harsh, but better with a girl."

"Words can hurt more than cuts and bruises." Merlin said quietly.

"She had this corner, by the radiator. Where I stood when I disappointed her. Hours with that smell of mold, being ignored. Fuck once I was old enough, I stayed out as long as I could. She was so disappointed in her life, she was so disappointed in me. And I knew it every damn day." Eggsy wiped away a tear.

"Do we get Daisy out?" Merlin asked. "Say the word and we get Daisy out."

"She is better with Daisy, you've seen my girl - she's a pip." Eggsy smiled. "Mum is better, been drinking less, and trying a bit more. And no court would let us take her."

"Doesn't need to be a court." Merlin suggested.

"No." Eggsy shook his head. "No Merlin."

Merlin nodded.

"So what happened when ye went to pick Daisy up?" 

Eggsy looked at his hands. "I had been running late, helped Roxy getting organized for her mission. Pretty much ran out the door, got to Mum's and she was in a mood for me being late, she had had plans." Eggsy started to bite a nail. "I had to use the loo, but she was busy yelling. Calling me names, talking about me being irresponsible. I kept asking for the loo, but she ignored me or told me I was a goddamn man and could hold it for five minutes while she said her piece. But, she can send me back so hard when she gets going and I was just trying to not slide to kid mentality. And five minutes became ten and fuck I had to pee, stupid green tea Harry keeps pouring down all our throats because it is good for us. And I was so focused on not thinking about the bog, that I sort of forgot about her, and Mum don't like being ignored and she just screamed my name and hit the table and it startled me enough, I pissed, just a little." Eggsy shivered. "And that set her going even more, haven't had name calling like that since the first time I had a wet dream and the sheets were a mess. And basically she refused to let me take Daisy and called the nanny I pay for for her and I left, her laughing at me the whole time. Didn't think just came here."

"How young were ye there Eggsy when I came home?" Merlin asked.

"Younger?" Eggsy said. "Usually about 7ish, about when Dad died because sometimes it is that obvious." Merlin laughed a little. "Guess it was a bit younger, four maybe? When I remember Dad starting to be gone and it was just her and me."

"And ye are sure I'm not allowed to kill her?" Merlin was hopeful.

Eggsy dived across into his arms. He kissed Merlin hard, passionately. "Oh Daddy." Another kiss. "No you can't, but you have no idea how much it means that you want to."

"In the meantime, I could offer up a decent mother."

"Huh?" Eggsy asked.

"Jay blabbed that I was serious about you, like long term serious and now Mummy and Da want us to go to Scotland."

Eggsy paused. "That serious about me are you?"

Merlin looked at him. "Aye."

"Promise you'll wear a kilt?"

"If ye like."

"Oh fuck I like." Eggsy said. "Will they like me do you think?"

"I think they'll like ye very much." Merlin promised.

"Then sure. After I'm back from Korea we'll go visit." Eggsy grinned. "Do I get to meet Bobby?"

"I dearly hope not." Merlin kissed Eggsy. "I'm proud of ye Eggsy, that your light shines so bright, after having so much dark try to diminish it."

"Sappy." Eggsy said as he cuddled in. "Quinn, do you regret how we are?" He asked quietly. 

"No." Merlin's voice was firm. "No, we are happy, we both gain much from this. I like taking care of you Eggsy, all aspects of you."

Eggsy sighed happily. "Kay." 

Merlin put on some music and they cuddled the morning away.

*******************

Michelle was annoyed when there was a knock on the door. Eggsy was early. Boy never could manage to get time right. She swung open the door. "Oi, idiot, clocks ain't that hard to read." She paused. "Oh, it's you. The sugar daddy. Wot you want then? Eggsy send you to get Daisy because I ain't letting her go with an old bloke like you." She looked at the other man. "You seem familiar, though think I would remember those fuck awful scars on your pretty mug."

"Eggsy will be along on time, to take Daisy to the teddy bear picnic in the park." Merlin said. "We're here to talk to you Michelle."

"About wot? How mental you are?" She gave him a slow look. "Though you are proper fit, maybe you looking a bit different?" She licked her lips.

"Charming." Harry's voice was dry. "No we are here to threaten you mostly clearly about how you will treat Eggsy from now on. We promise to be suitably menacing." Harry smiled and his robotic eye shifted in the socket. "Now I am sure you think you know menace what with that stain you used to be married to, but I promise, we'll manage to impress you." Merlin just stood behind Harry and smiled. That was all he had to do really.

Michelle paled and stepped back a little. They followed her in.

When Eggsy came to get Daisy, Michelle didn't say a single scathing thing to her son.

 


	7. How They Love Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We go to Scotland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Eggsy, families really can love and support each other - even if they are loud and annoying to little brothers. Also this chapter ended up being a beast so I am splitting it into 2 (ie part 2 is where you will get Merlin in a kilt).

"It wasn't that far a drive Quinn, why didn't we just take your car?" Eggsy asked as they waited for the bags. "Would have saved you all those extra baggage fees. Also then if we flew why didn't we just take a Kingsman plane, you could have flown us here."

"Yes, because most IT nerds fly their private plane." Merlin said dryly.

"They don't know?" Eggsy whispered in surprise.

"My parents? Nae." Merlin grabbed two of the bags from the belt. "Bobby suspects I am more than I seem, but I keep them in the dark. Everyone sleeps better at night that way." He grabbed the other two. "Come my Da will be waiting in the pick up and drop off area. He'll nae want to pay the parking fees."

Eggsy paused. "I'm meeting your parents, right now?" 

"No just Da, Mama will be at home preparing tea." Merlin looked at Eggsy. "Lad?" 

"It's fine, fine. I can do this. Met Jay and that went well. Get emails from your other sisters all the time." Eggsy looked at Merlin. "What if he hates me?"

"My Da is genetically incapable of hating anyone. Once in 1962 he got in a bar fight with a man who tried to hustle him. That man is Jay's godfather."

Eggsy laughed a little bit. "Okay. So you are fifty and Kennedy the oldest is?"

"61. They had five children in 11 years." Merlin looked at Eggsy. "My mum calls it the decade of hell, my da calls in the decade of love." He grinned. "That many kids was her idea I might add. Da always says you trying saying no to your mother."

"Well that is a lot of pregnancy time." Eggsy said in awe. His mother still complained about him being 10 days late.

"Mama is a strong woman." Merlin said. "And Da...endures, happily." Merlin and Eggsy were incredibly weighed down by the luggage filled to the brim with gifts for Merlin's family. He had missed Christmas due to a Kingsman emergency and was going to make up for it. He stood outside and looked at the row of cars. "Oh god, Da drove the beast."

"The be-bwah what the hell is that thing?" Eggsy stared in awe.

"The beast." Merlin said. "The family mini bus. There are a lot of us, and Da got a deal."

"But it's painted -" Eggsy couldn't even finish the sentence.

"Did it meself boy-o." An old man said as he pat the side of the small bus fondly. "Represents the family, they know we're coming."

"Like that's ever hard to tell." Merlin muttered to Eggsy.

"Oi! My hearing just fine son, since you got me these hearing aids. Now hug your Da and proper introduce your man." The small man pulled Merlin into a death grip and Merlin leaned in fondly.

"Hi Da. Missed you." Merlin kissed his father's head. "This is Eggsy, he's my core."

The man raised a brow at that and Eggsy was confused. "Don't say something like that in front of your Ma and Bobby, you'll be dead then." He held out his hand, "Duncan lad, and it is my pleasure to meet you."

"You are well sir, thank you for inviting me to your home." Eggsy tried for his best Harry Hart.

"Ooh the manners will go over well at the house. Now give us your bag." 

Eggsy tried not to hand it over, he was having difficulty lifting it, but Duncan grabbed it and easily put it in the back. Merlin put the rest in and Eggsy climbed into the bus.

"Da," Merlin said as he took a seat. "Bobby's in Inverness, busy with work." It sounded more like a plea and not a statement.

"Son, you missed Christmas and brought your lad. Everyone is here for the weekend." Duncan said and he cackled. "Boy, I hope you like trial by fire."

Eggsy laughed and stopped when the other two were silent. "That's a metaphor."

"Jay maintains she didn't actually mean to set Morgan's husband on fire."

"There is booze right?" Eggsy begged.

"Well now, with all the grandkids floating around we keep the house dry, so no one can get into anything by mistake." Eggsy whimpered and Duncan smiled. "But there mighten be a nip or two to be found in my work shed."

"Oh thank fuck." Both men said. Duncan let the language slide.

It wasn't too long a drive before Duncan drove down a gravel lane. Eggsy looked around in awe. "A farm. You grew up on a farm Quinn." Eggsy took a look at the house. "You grew up on a farm, in the freaking Weasley house."

"That's what the grandkids keep saying. Never read the books, seen the movies with them though. I like Hagrid." Duncan said. "Oh good everyone's here. Now don't you worry boy-o, that's only what is it Quinn, you are best with numbers."

"23 provided it is just immediate family." Merlin said.

"Aye we kept the uncles and cousins away this time." Duncan reassured him. "We set up tents out back iffen ye want to kip outdoors. But your old room Quinn is available. Jay once again tried to claim it, but your sister repellent system is still working."

Merlin grinned. He had set the system up when he was 17 and none of his sisters had cracked it yet. "We'll take the room, I'm getting a little old to camp."

"Jay is camping and so are Morgan and her lot."

"Yeah but they ain't never been shot like Quinn." Eggsy said without thinking.  _Shit, shit, shit_ , he thought. So much for being in this relationship.

"True that. Quinn told ye about when he was mugged. Dreadful, dreadful thing. Tried to get him to leave London, nasty place." Duncan said.

Eggsy shot an apologetic look at Merlin, who hugged him to let him know it was okay.

"I'm fine Da, this was almost a decade ago now." Quinn said. He got out of the mini bus and went around the back to pull out the luggage. Duncan hit the horn and Eggsy stared in horror at all the people who came running.

"Oh god, it's worse than V-day." Eggsy said staring at the horde.

"Now, now, none of that. Go out there and wow them." Duncan said. He shoved Eggsy down the steps with a cackle, and soon Eggsy was surrounded. They ranged in age from Kennedy at almost 61 down to the youngest grandchild at 3 months. Everyone was shouting greetings and asking about their trip and Eggsy was feeling utterly overwhelmed. He had no idea what to do with this many people wanting to meet him and seeming happy to do so.

There was a loud clang from the porch and everyone scattered. "Duncan, you did not just throw that poor boy to the wolves. Ye are on kitchen duty for the next two nights and expect your butt to be warming the couch for a stunt like that." 

Eggsy looked over to a woman the same size as the Duncan with hair a brilliant purple. He tried not to laugh. 

"Don't ye be saying nothing. That poor girl down at the cosmetology school tried her best, and I'll not shame her for not mixing the colour proper." She said when she came close, leaning heavily on a cane. "I'm Claire, leader of this gaggle of madness. Welcome, Gary."

"Eggsy." He gave a smile.

"That's breakfast food, Gary is a perfectly lovely name." Claire huffed.

"Quinn called the lad his core, be nice." Duncan said.

Claire gave him a look. "Very well Eggsy. Come tea is ready, we'll have a chat, while my husband and son sneak their seeing each other again cigarette that I pretend I haven't know about for the last 30 years."

"Now Claire! Ye know I would never lie to ye." Duncan smiled. "I just want to show Quinn the new lawnmower, see if he can't spiff it up a little."

"Sure." Claire said. "Quinn, ye owe me a big hug and there best be some of that scent I like in that bag as a gift when ye get to the house." Claire smiled and hooked her arm through Eggsy's. "Now ye already know Jay, and Kennedy and Morgan will like ye well enough. Bobby...isn't amused that ye are so young, but she'll come around, or we'll be having a come to Jesus talk."

Claire took Eggsy through the house and into the kitchen and settled him down with a nice cuppa. "Now then boy-o what else can I get ye?"

Eggsy stared at his cup. "Why?"

"Why what darling?"

"Why all this, why are you so nice to me? You don't know me, I could just be Quinn's toy."

"If ye were a toy, ye wouldn't be here. Quinn wouldn't call you his core." She smiled at him. "Eggsy, he is going to pretend otherwise, but he wanted all the family here, he wanted them to meet ye, he wanted ye to become family. And if he wants that, then that's what ye will be." She poured her own cuppa. "I met Duncan when I was 14, knew he was the man for me. 16 and oh so charming. Ma said he was worthless, wouldn't let us date so we decided to work our way around it." She winked. "Made sure there was a shotgun wedding the day I turned 18 if you catch my meaning."

Eggsy spluttered his tea. "Why are you sharing this?"

"Because he's been my core for 65 years. Silly thing, we don't say heart, or soul in my clan, we say our core, our centre." She shrugged. "So you best be getting to making an honest man out of my wee duckling, before he blows himself up on one of his fool gadgets."

"Uh..." Eggsy looked out a window.

"Like I didn't figure out he wasn't a nerd years ago."

"To be fair, he is a nerd." Eggsy smiled.

"Oh I like you." Claire said. They chatted about the weekend plans and Eggsy laughed. "There are at least a half dozen faces smooshed against the window."

"Probably." Claire gave him a sharp look. "How are ye at lawn bowling?"

"Let's find out shall we?"

******************

The answer was terrible, though that could also be because Merlin's family were the worst sort of cheaters. He learned by Duncan's third fake heart attack to ignore the man dropping to the dirt, and to avoid Claire's cane as she tried to hook it around him and pull him off balance. Kennedy was just as bad, Jay and Merlin only a little better. Morgan tried to play fair and Bobby didn't play at all. Most spouses and children were just hanging out. Eggsy was overwhelmed and took a break to grab a fizzy drink and a seat.

Only he didn't quite pay attention and ended up beside Bobby.

"Ma'am." He said politely. She had been sitting there the whole time, just quietly watching.

"Ye are too young for him." Bobby said staring out at the game that had devolved into some sort of tag water balloon game. "He can do better than the likes of ye. His core? I dinnae think so, ye could nae carry him if he needed ye too." She looked at him and Eggsy couldn't stop a flinch. "Ye have no strength to ye."

Eggsy swallowed, the drink a brick in his stomach. "I have more than you think."

"Enough to leech from him, ye mean." Bobby snorted. "I suppose though, he deserves to have a bit of fun."

"You didn't sneer enough as you said that." Eggsy replied.

"Give me time."

Eggsy stared at Merlin who had a grandnephew on his shoulders. "I love Quinn." Bobby snorted and Eggsy let the gentleman veneer slide away. "I fucking love that man and you can say all the bullshit you damn well want. But you think I don't know he's settled with me? He's the fucking guv he is, and I am grateful every damn day I have with him. And I know I don't give him as much as he gives me, but I promise I give him everything I fucking have to give. I've done precisely three things right in my life and one of them, one of them is falling in love with him." 

"And what are the other two then?" Bobby asked.

"Get arrested and save the fucking world." He growled quietly. He looked over to Merlin where there was a new teenager standing by him. Eggsy watched as the teen gave Merlin a hug and palmed his wallet. "Oh I don't think so." Eggsy slammed his drink down and went over and put the boy in a headlock.

"Wot the feck?" The kid said. Eggsy twisted his nose ring.

"That was the worst, most obvious grab I've ever damn seen in my life. Give Merlin back his wallet and then you and I are walking to the filth." Eggsy gave him an extra shake.

"Uncle Merlin help!"

"Nae Phillip, that was a shite grab, ye are getting rusty." Merlin said. 

Eggsy let go of the kid. "Your nephew?"

"Bobby's and mine son." The older man beside Merlin said. "Though if he could be caught by someone who was as far away as you, there will be no pudding for him tonight."

"Dad!" The kid yelled.

Eggsy paled. "I put Bobby's kid in a headlock. She already hates me!"

The kid laughed. "Mum hates everyone. She's what's the word Da?"

"Curmudgeonly." The man grinned.

"Yeah, that's it." The boy smiled and handed Merlin back his wallet. "I'm Phillip. I'm going to be a magician need fast and light fingers for that."

"I'm Eggsy, I'm very confused." Eggsy answered.

Merlin pulled Eggsy into a hug. "Want to go for a walk, some time away?"

"Yes please." He said into Merlin's shoulder. Merlin looked over to his mother and gave her a signal. She would talk to everyone tell them to tone it down a little while they were gone.

Merlin held Eggsy's hand as they walked through the garden and out a small beaten path into some fields. "I'm sorry, love. I should have let ye arrive in peace, held the forces at bay until tomorrow."

Eggsy smiled. "Nah, Merlin, you haven't seen them all in forever. It's okay. They are all just..."

"Insane, pain in the arse, terrifying?" Merlin asked.

"Boisterous. Ye don't seem like them." Eggsy thought about it. "Or I guess you do a little here."

"Ye know I am closest to Jay, but personality wise I suppose I am a mostly like Bobby." Merlin said.

"She hates me."

"Aye, that was to be expected. She doesn't do well with change, if it helps she's hated all the spouses when they first arrive." Merlin leads him up a small incline and they sit down, staring down at the house, watching everyone play. 

"Phillip is young to be her kid isn't he?" The boy had looked to be in his mid teens and Bobby was 56.

"He's adopted. He tried to steal her wallet a few years ago, thought she'd be an easy mark, what with everything. And she kicked his ass. And then took him for food and just never let go." Merlin smiled. "He's a good lad. Very protective of Bobby." 

"And he's the one you plan to bring into the fold so to speak." 

"Now that is a conversation for another day." Merlin said firmly, which Eggsy took to mean yes.

"Did your parents deliberately get pregnant young just so they could be together?" Eggsy asked.

"So the story goes. Mama set her sights on Da and he happily followed. Ye don't stand between a Rose and the person they decide to love. That's why Bobby will come around. Ye can bitch, but ye never mess with our hearts, our cores."

"And I'm really that for you?" Eggsy picked at the grass.

Merlin didn't reply, just held Eggsy and kissed his head, which was answer enough. Eggsy leaned in. "You all are horrible cheaters you know."

"Just wait until we break out the card games." Merlin teased.

That night and through the next day was more of the same - loud, happy, and chaotic. Claire tried to reign them in a little, and it worked a bit but Eggsy made sure to take breaks, he needed just a few minutes of quiet occasionally. He wasn't used to this many people being happy to see him. And touching. So much touching, everyone here was a hugger and the wee ones had all gravitated to Eggsy. That he didn't mind so much, though the teasing from Morgan about Merlin not getting any younger and that they needed to start a family soon was a little much. Bobby put an end to that right quick and Eggsy was almost grateful. He went to bed early the second night, knowing that the next day was some sort of big event in town and wanting to be well rested.

So of course he ended up having one of his night terrors. He woke up screaming, bed sheets soaked through with sweat. And feeling young. 

"Shh, my darling boy. Come now, let's get you a new set of jim jams." Merlin said soothingly. He helped Eggsy change and then bundled him up in a quilt and took him out to the family room. He put Eggsy down on the couch and stood up. Eggsy whimpered. "Hush darling boy, I'll make ye a nice hot chocolate okay? The whole house is asleep I promise, just you and me and we'll set you to rights." Merlin kissed his head and hurried to the kitchen.

Eggsy sat shivering in the blanket, eyes darting around, terrified because it wasn't home, it wasn't safe. He heard some thumping in the hallway opposite from the way Daddy had gone and looked around the room. He saw a nice corner where he could hide in his blanket. Maybe the thumping wouldn't notice him there. Eggsy quickly went over and scrunched himself in the corner. He pulled the blanket over his head.

The thumping came into the room and stopped. "Oh good lord, can't ye and Merlin keep it down? He knows I am a light sleeper and yer screaming dinnae help the situation." Bobby said. "What sort of game is this, come out from there, ye'll nae use Mama's living room for some sort of perverted sex game."

Eggsy stayed hidden and tried not to cry too loudly.

Bobby thumped her cane to the floor hard. "Lad, enough of this nonsense!"

And Eggsy couldn't stop the whimper that came out. He started to cry in earnest. He needed Daddy. He'd scare the mean witch away. The thumping came closer and Eggsy waited for one of the canes to wallop him. He heard some grunts and sighs and felt her sit on the ground beside him. He clutched the blanket tight, prepared for her to rip it away. Only she didn't and a soothing hand began to run up and down his back.

"Oh lad, I'm sorry." Bobby said quietly. 

Eggsy peeked out of the edges of the blanket. And mean lady looked sad. "Bad dream." Eggsy said voice so tiny.

"Aye, and a doozy I am betting." Bobby said and Eggsy nodded. She kept rubbing his back. "My Phillip, his first year with us, would scream in his sleep. I would stay up with him after, make him hot chocolate, just like Mama always did for all of us."

"Da- uh Quinn went to get me some." Eggsy pulled the blanket up a bit more, ready for her to be mean again.

"And I'm betting it will even have a marshmallow or two in it." Bobby replied. She kept rubbing his back. "Do ye need to talk about the dream?"

Eggsy quickly shook his head no. Bobby just kept rubbing his back until they both heard Merlin.

"Bobby you shouldn't be on the floor like that." Merlin said. He put the cups down and hurried over to help his sister up.

She rolled her eyes. "It's CP, which I've had since the day I was born, ye daft prick. Not like a little floor sit will make me better or worse." Still she let him help her up and into a chair. "See to your boy."

Merlin got Eggsy up and onto the sofa with him, where Eggsy emerged enough to hold his cup, which indeed did have marshmallows in it. Merlin held him close while he sipped the soothing drink.

"Bobby." Merlin said quietly. Eggsy stilled in his arms.

"There are things that are my business and things that aren't." She said to her little brother. "So we'll let most of this lie. He works with ye doesn't he?"

"Bobby, ye aren't supposed to talk about work with me." Merlin said.

"Mama and I know what's what, even if the rest turn a blind eye and deaf ear. And this is what you want for my son."

"He would work with me Bobby not in the field like Eggsy." Merlin reassured her. "He is too smart and talented not to be of use to the world."

"We can talk about it when he's 18." Bobby said and Merlin nodded. "He is really your core?"

"He is Bobby." Merlin's voice was husky. Eggsy slurped the last of hot chocolate and sighed happy with his Daddy.

"And when ye are 80 and he's what 50?"

"I'll be a dirty old man chasing him down and pinching his bum." Merlin grinned.

Bobby fought back a laugh. She looked at the lad. "He hurts, has wounds."

"We all do."

She nodded. "Well then, I'm off to bed I'll leave ye be."

Merlin looked at Eggsy. "I need to change our sheets Bobby, he sweat through them. Can ye stay with him?"

"Aye." She said. She stood slowly and moved to the sofa on the other side of Eggsy. Merlin got up and hurried to the linen closet.

Eggsy yawned and Bobby rubbed his back again. 

"Oh lad, I just want him happy." Bobby said.

"Me too." Eggsy said back. "He makes my heart not hurt."

"My Cedric does that for me as well. So maybe in the morning, I'll be a wee bit nicer to ye." Bobby wrapped an arm around him. She thought through the moment when she found him. "I don't suspect I'll e'er see ye like this again, but iffen ye need to, the wee ones call me Scary Auntie B."

Eggsy giggled a bit and yawned again. "Don't like bad dreams."

"No one does." Bobby agreed. "Here lad." And she sang a very old lullaby, one their grandmother had sung to all of them, it was the only Gaelic she knew. Eggsy snuggled into her as she sang in a soft and off key voice. Merlin came in and harmonized with her a bit for the last verse before picking up Eggsy and taking him back to bed.

"I like Scary Auntie B." Eggsy said sleepily as he was tucked in.

Merlin hugged him tight. "I do too, my darling boy, but don't ye tell her that. I'l never live it down."

"Sing more, Daddy." And Merlin sang Eggsy to sleep.


	8. How They Love Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay here we go, fluff and smut no hidden hurt feels. and using the kilt for my smutty needs so don't really care if it isn't accurate.

"What festival?" Eggsy asked Merlin. He was eating oatmeal and loving it, which he never did. "This is flipping brilliant."

"Mama makes the best oatmeal." Merlin said.

"This is just incredible." He went for a second bowl. "And again what festival."

"The spring festival. I'm sure there is a particular reason but no one ever remembers it." Merlin shrugged. "Basically the town gets together, eats food, listens to music, plays games." Merlin smiled happily. "Been going since I was a wee bairn. There are photos of me at Mama's breast, the girls all running around. If we are lucky Jay will get plastered enough to sing. She's the one with the voice in the family."

"You have a good singing voice." Eggsy said softly. 

"And I suppose that is enough proof that ye love him, he sounds like a frog." Bobby said. She was limping a little more than usual. Merlin got up to help her and she hit him with one of her canes. "Sit boy-o, just slept wrong."

Eggsy turned bright red remembering the night before, and took his bowl to the sink and washed it. "So what do I wear to this?"

"Comfortable, and something ye can get dirty." Merlin said. He got a bowl for Bobby.

"Ye best be dressing proper Quinn, I'll nae deal with Mama's complaints of ye being slovenly." 

Eggsy looked at Merlin who was fidgeting. 

"I dinnae bring it." Merlin said.

"That's why I called that shop ye work at and had them send it along proper." Quinn smiled. "Ye will nae disappoint Mama, A Rose will nae hide their colours."

"Yes Bobby. Will all of you be wearing them as well?" Merlin asked. He fiddled with the screws in Bobby's canes, tightening them up.

"Aye. Mama even got Phillip a proper set this year." The pride in Bobby's voice was evident. 

"That's good." Merlin agreed.

"Colours?" Eggsy asked them.

"You'll see." The both said. Merlin kissed Eggsy's head. "Ye will go ahead with the spouses. They'll wear tokens of the clan, which ye can do when we are handfasted."

Bobby raised an eye at the term, but didn't say anything.

"I don't know what that means."

"And ye don't need to yet." Claire said walking in, already wearing her tartan. "Children time to get yourselves ready. Eggsy lad, get a move on, you lot will go ahead." 

"Yes ma'am." Eggys kissed Merlin and left the kitchen still not quite sure what was going on. 40 minutes later he ended up in a caravan with Duncan and the husbands. "Still don't understand what is going on you know."

"My Claire is of the clan Rose." Duncan explained. "An old clan and she is proud of it. I'm the son labourers and various riff raff, yet another reason her parents tried to see the back of me." Duncan pulled into a field with other cars. "At events like this, she and her blood wear the clan tartan, one because she is proud, and two, she liked to tell her parents to suck it in interesting ways." All the people in the van laughed. "We wear the bands on our arms to show we belong, though aren't actually of the clan. This year, Phillip wears the plaid for the first time."

And looking at other people, Eggsy finally clued in. "Quinn is going to be in a kilt."

Duncan cackled wildly. "Aye that he is, no matter how he tries to get out of it. Hated wearing it he has, most of his life. Especially because my Claire is super traditional about it all."

"Why do people keep saying things like I'll understand what it means around here?"

Morgan's husband took pity. "No pants under the kilt." He whispered. "And they wear their plaid old style, meaning no zippers, no buttons, just put it on correctly with the belt and hope it does nae fall off."

"Oh god, he would hate that." Eggsy said, eyes wide.

"Aye, so much, ye nae understand." Duncan laughed and guided Eggsy to the tents. "The stories I can tell ye about him and that bolt of fabric." He snickered. "And the time he dinnae get it quite so right and a breeze showed everyone his assets."

"Claire will help with the pleating." 

"Nae, he'll have cheated in London and got it sewn." Kennedy's husband said.

Duncan laughed. "He isn't so old his Ma wouldn't take him over her knee. He will have his proper plaid." He looked around. "Come there is that old geezer Jim, want to show off Quinn's boy."

"Jim is two years younger than you." Bobby's husband sighed. "And don't get drunk with him before noon or we get in trouble."

Duncan ignored that and dragged Eggsy over.

It was an hour of being dragged around and introduced to everyone on the planet ever. And they were all huggers and touchers and so excited to finally meet Quinn's someone special. The husbands all tried to run as much interference as possible, but not too much, trial by fire was the only way to survive the family. Eggsy was starting to get desperate and nervous when he heard the bagpipes and everyone went quiet. Eggsy moved in front of his group to get a better view of the small parade coming with the bagpipers. There were a few families in traditional garb and in them were their people.

Duncan whistled the second he saw Claire who kept her head up and eyes straight. "Lord I love me that woman, ye will send me to hell for putting her before ye God, and I'll nae regret it a second." Duncan grinned at Eggsy. "Would ye face the fires of hell for Quinn?"

Eggsy looked at the small group and saw Merlin. "Oh holy fuck yes." The man always attractive was going to kill Eggsy.

"Welcome to the husbands, Eggsy." Duncan said, as he threw an arm around him. "We serve at their whim happily."

"Aye." All the other husbands agreed. The small parade of families finished and the children tore through the crowd to find parents and grandparents. Bobby's husband held Philip tight and whispered something to him. Eggsy told everyone that they looked amazing. And eventually Merlin was at his side.

"I look like an idiot and if ye take a single photo, I promise we will never watch My Fair Lady ever again." Merlin warned.

"You..." Eggsy looked at him. "You are so fucking gorgeous Quinn."

Merlin fidgeted a little. "My knees are knobby."

"Your knees are perfect." Eggsy hugged him. "You...fuck." he whispered. "I'm destroyed here Quinn, hard enough to hammer nails while having 23 of your family members around me." 

Merlin bent his head and rested it on Eggsy's shoulder. "Maybe the kilt isn't so bad." He said.

"I want you to wear it all the goddamn time." Eggsy replied.

"Nae." Merlin lifted his head. "But I'll nae bitch so much about it today. How drunk is Da?"

"Only a couple drams." Eggsy promised. "Everyone was too busy looking me over like a calf for slaughter to drink."\

"I've nae brought someone to this before." Merlin explained.

"It looks fun." Eggsy smiled and took the flower one of Morgan's grandkids handed him. "I could use some fun."

"Then fun ye shall have." Merlin promised.

And he did. There was food and music and he danced a million dances, several with Merlin. He watched the games, which were insane and tried to get Merlin to do some of it, and Merlin finally took part in archery, which made Eggsy so damn thirsty. He even tried Haggis and declared it not the worst thing ever. Eggsy was a little tipsy and a lot happy as dusk began to fall. 

Bobby came over to where he and Merlin were sitting on a bench and listening to music. "Ye know, Mama and Da will tire in about an hour, and we'll all head home, but takes awhile to pack everyone up." She looked at them, how snuggled they were on the bench. "I'm sure Eggsy is tired from the crowds. I'll make your excuses." She turned and left them. 

Merlin didn't think just grabbed Eggsy's hand and ran to one of the 6 cars they had taken to the festival and hot wired it and drove for him.

"What was that?" Eggsy asked.

"She is implying that we can have sex without anyone bothering us."

"Feels like Jay should be the one encouraging that." Eggsy said.

"That means Bobby approves of ye." Merlin said. "Mama and Da, wouldn't make another hour without encouragement." Merlin smiled. "And where I would like to fuck ye, we definitely need the time and the family well gone."

"And why would your sister know -" Eggsy thought about it. "Nope I'll take the implied approval and just not think about of what it all entails."

They pulled into the farm and Merlin didn't go for the house but around the back, and down a well worn path, to a very old tree. "This has always been my favourite spot on the farm. Did so much thinking and dreaming here. If I came here, it was the one place none of my sisters would bother me. Family rule, we each had a place we could go to feel safe. This is my safe spot."

Eggsy looked around. "It is like Outlander without the questionable morality of time travel infidelity."

Merlin laughed and kissed Eggsy. "Not so much like that."

"Enough." Eggsy looked at the tree. "It is a good safe place, but not so sure going to be comfy without a blanket or something."

"Lad, you dinnae understand about kilts do ye?" Merlin laughed. "They are a blanket." Merlin stood there in the last hint of light and undid his belt. He took the kilt off with a snap and lay out the yards of plaid. "Should work well enough." He then stripped off his shirt, shoes, and socks. He sat down on the plaid and rested his back against the tree.

"Next time," Eggsy's voice was hoarse, hungry. "Next time, I'm sucking you off Daddy while you wear the kilt."

"We can play fancy dress at home one day." Merlin promised. "Or I am sure I can find some formal event to wear it to." He held out a hand to Eggsy. "Lad, feeling a little cold, join me and warm me up?"

"Uh, we don't have lube." Eggsy said. "And I really really want you to fuck me Daddy."

"In my sock in the fold, a condom and small individual lube pack." Merlin grinned. "I had hopes. Always wanted to kiss a pretty boy after the festival." 

Eggsy stripped down quickly and grabbed the items. He climbed on top of Merlin's lap. "Still a little cold you know." He kissed Merlin. Merlin folded the fabric a little bit around Eggsy. "Better. I am becoming a huge fan of kilts." Eggsy kissed him again.

"They have their merits." Merlin agreed. He held Eggsy tight to him and they kissed and forgot time. Merlin moved his fingers across Eggsy, touching everywhere, he loved the feel of Eggsy's skin. "So soft." He said. He opened up the small lube packet and put some on his finger and slid it under Eggsy and slowly pushed in. "So hot. My Eggsy, my core."

Eggsy moaned and lifted his hips a little to give Merlin a little more room. He braced his hands on the tree as Merlin worked him open. "Daddy, fuck Daddy, we need to do this more outside."

"Perhaps. And perhaps my safe spot is a magical place." Merlin said as he put the condom on. He held his cock steady and put a hand on Eggsy's hip and guided him until Eggsy sank himself down. They stayed like that, still, quiet. Eggsy's hands braced on the tree and him looking down at Merlin.

"You are my safe place Quinn." Eggsy's voice was small, but happy.

"Ye are mine as well lad. One I can easily carry around. Trees that are 2 centuries old are hard to move ye know."

Eggsy laughed a little and began to roll his hips. They were quiet, slow. And safe.

Merlin touched Eggsy's cock. A slow pull that made Eggsy ache for more, but he didn't want to break the spell over them. When the orgasm hit Eggsy it was something new, a slow roll of pleasure instead of a crashing wave. Merlin followed shortly after.

Eggsy rested against Merlin for a time. "I hear engines." He finally said.

"Aye. We best get in before they all do." Merlin agreed. Eggsy dressed quickly and Merlin wrapped himself in his plaid. It was a sorry affair. 

"Bet you've got grass stains on that." Eggsy teased.

"Not the first in the family to do so." Merlin replied. They walked hand in hand back to the house where drowsy little ones ignored them and all of Merlin's sisters smirked. The husbands all grinned at Eggsy. They had had a time or two in safe spots as well.

Phillip looked at them. "There's a leaf in Eggsy's hair. They are handfasted now right?" He grinned happily, he had taken quickly to Eggsy.

"Hush now, in their own time lad." Claire said to her grandson. She kissed Eggsy. "Made Merlin out in the east fields you know." She whispered. She laughed when Eggsy turned bright red. "To bed with the lot of ye."

Eggsy hurried to Merlin's room. They got into bed and Merlin held Eggsy tight. "What's handfasted Quinn?" He asked.

"Nothing, just an old word." Merlin answered. "I'll tell ye later, when we are ready for it."

"K." Eggsy yawned, tired from all the people and activity. "Like it here."

"Aye." Merlin kissed his head. "To sleep we leave on the morrow."

Eggsy drifted off.

The next day was chaotic with all the goodbyes and promises to stay in touch. Clair and Duncan had both pulled Eggsy aside to tell him how happy they were to have him in the family now and Jay gave him scotch, and Bobby didn't kill him.

It wasn't until a week later that Eggsy remembered to google handfasted.

And learned it meant betrothal and even wed.

And that all of Merlin's family just expected that of them. And that Merlin had said it as well.

Eggsy decided that he rather liked the word. It had a good sound.

Handfasted.

Yes, it was now definitely a favourite word.

 

 


	9. How They Talk Things Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because with all the layers in their relationship some things need to be talked through.

Eggsy stood in the bedroom stunned. Merlin had never just turned and walked out on sex. He didn't know what to do, he looked around the room and decided to make the bed. He felt cold, exposed in his ninja turtle pants and threw them off and put trackies and a Merlin sweater on. He needed the comfort of a Merlin sweater right now, even though Merlin seemed mad at him. He stared at the lube and condom on the night stand, the pulled back sheets and his Batman bear. He started to move them away and Merlin's sweater flopped over his fingers.

"No, no, no, not right now." Eggsy swore. Sweater fingers was always something that slid him into little space and he knew that wouldn't help right now. He decided to leave Batman bear where he was, that touching him might put him over the edge. He hurried out of the bedroom to follow Merlin. He found the man sitting at the kitchen table, the kettle on. He was holding Eggsy's Spiderman water cup in his hands.

"Daddy?" Eggsy asked, voice going soft.

Merlin looked up sharply. "I said no playing that right now Eggsy." His voice was stern, cold in a way he never was with little Eggsy.

"Daddy?" Eggsy asked shocked.

"I said no playing!!!!" Merlin yelled and the kettle screamed. Eggsy flinched away and ran to the living room and hid in the small corner between the sofa and the wall. He started to cry, it was scary when Daddy yelled like that. That wasn't an at home voice, that was a field trip voice. Eggsy tried to breathe and couldn't, air wasn't coming in right, he had forgotten how to breathe. Oh god he forgot how to breathe. He sobbed terrified and his lungs hurt bad. Hard hands pulled him up and he didn't think, just fought scrambled to get away. When big hands pulled you out of corners it was bad. Real bad. Under a bed, under a bed was better. He kicked and heard a grunt and was let go. He ran. Under beds, under beds, under beds big fingers couldn't get you.

Eggsy ran and opened his door. Scary person would expect him to go under his bed and and he was clever, he was tricksy. He pulled his blankie down to make it look like he was hiding under his and then dove under Daddy's bed. He had remembered how to breathe while he had run and now had to make sure he was extra quiet. Daddy would keep him safe wouldn't he? Of course he would, Daddy loved him and would never hurt him.

Well, except he had hurt Eggsy tonight, something with bedtime, Eggsy couldn't quite focus on how or why it hurt. Just that it had and now bad touches.

He began to cry forgetting to be quiet. He heard footsteps, a whisper of sock on floor. He bit his hand to quiet himself. It hurt. He wanted Daddy to fix it with a plaster.

He wanted Daddy.

It was quiet and then he heard a soft groan and there was Daddy on the ground, peering under the bed.

"Hello Eggsy."

Eggsy pulled his hand out of his mouth. "I have sweater fingers." He hoped Daddy understood what that meant.

Daddy closed his eyes. "Oh my darling boy."

Daddy sounded wrong, sad. Daddy never sounded sad. Eggsy scooted a little, but stayed under the bed. "Bad man grabbed me from the corner, did you scare him away?" Eggsy whispered.

"That was me Eggsy." Merlin said. "I didn't quite realize..." Daddy took a breath. "I'm sorry lad, I didn't realize you were little so fast."

"No scary men?" Eggsy asked. 

"No, just a Da who messed up but good." Daddy held out his hand and Eggsy touched their fingers together.

"I did something bad." Eggsy said. "But my head hurts thinking about it." He bit his lip, "My tummy too."

"We'll talk about it later." Daddy promised. "Would you like to come out?"

"No." Eggsy said. "Safer here."

"Okay." Daddy said. He stood up and Eggsy whimpered. He needed Daddy and he needed a plaster. He saw a pillow hit the ground and Daddy's feet walk away. A minute later Paddington was pushed under the bed. Daddy lay back down his head on the pillow. "Good?"

"I have an owie. Need an avengers plaster." Eggsy said quietly.

"Does it need stingy goo?" Daddy asked.

"Yeah." Eggsy admitted.

"Okay then." Daddy groaned as he got up and a couple minutes later the supplies were put under the bed and Daddy turned the torch on his phone on. "Can ye fix yourself up?"

"Uh-huh." Eggsy took care of where he broke the skin. He edged a little closer, hugging Paddington. "I'm sorry."

Daddy turned the torch off and put his hand under the bed. "Me too, we'll sort it all out, promise, but I do believe we'll both be needing the thinking step."

Eggsy giggled. "Daddy's don't go on thinking steps, that's for naughty boys."

Daddy smiled. "Sometimes Daddy's make mistakes too, but they always learn from them." He began to sing the lullaby that he had been singing more since they had returned from Scotland.

"Scary Auntie B is wrong, you sing pretty." Eggsy's yawned. "Not as good as Uncle Harry though."

Merlin just rubbed his thumb over Eggsy's hand and kept singing until Eggsy drifted off.

***************************

 In the morning Merlin was hurting. He woke up to see Eggsy staring at him.

"Hello." Merlin whispered.

"'Lo." Eggsy answered.

They continued to just look at each other.

"Please." Eggy's voice was scared. "Please, whatever I did, just give me another chance. I'm sorry Quinn, let me fix it, make it up to you. I'll be good, don't throw me away." Eggsy slammed a hand over his mouth to stop talking.

"Eggsy can ye come out from under the bed?" Merlin asked.

"Oh yeah, sure, I'm a fucking idiot." Eggsy scotted out and put Paddington up on the night stand when he stood. Merlin groaned as he stood as well. 

"We need a shower, I'm stiff as hell." Merlin said. Eggsy could hear his back pop as Merlin stretched.

"I'll make you coffee and breakfast. Or I'll go get breakfast." Eggsy offered.

Merlin shook his head. "Come." He pulled Eggsy into the bathroom. "Get the water warm." He said as he took a piss.

Eggsy fiddled with the knobs until it was the just under burning that Merlin liked. He waited. Merlin smiled and pulled Eggsy into the shower with him. He kissed his head and they stood under the twin shower heads letting the warmth ease their shoulders. Merlin grabbed shampoo and washed Eggsy's hair and then the soap and a flannel.

"Stop taking care of me." Eggsy said.

"Never." Merlin swore.

"I'm big." Eggsy protested. "You don't have to -"

"What you sometimes fail to understand Eggsy, is that I like to take care of all of ye. Big and little." Merlin said. He picked up Eggsy's hand and swirled the flannel of the pads of his fingers, knowing how sensitive they were. "Ye never let me take care of big you like this."

"Feels weird." Eggsy replied. "You wash me when I'm little. It crosses the streams." He closed his eyes. "Oh fuck, which is what I was doing last night. Without asking you about it. Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck." Eggsy groaned. "Fuck Merlin, I fucked up so good."

Merlin laughed a little and put the washcloth down. "I did as well. I dinnae talk to ye, just reacted." He turned the water off and handed Eggsy a towel. "We'll make coffee and talk in the garden."

"Sure." Eggsy couldn't quite look at Merlin. He pulled on some trackies and a t-shirt and followed Merlin downstairs who had dressed similarly. They didn't talk as the coffee perked and Merlin cut them up some fruit and made toast. They took it out to the small table in the garden and ate, still in silence.

"I'm sorry." Eggsy said. He watched a ladybug crawl on the table. "I'm sorry."

"I am sorry too." Merlin answered. He held out a hand and Eggsy took it.

"I thought you'd like it." Eggsy said softly. "I mean that's why you put up with me, being you know..."

"Being?" Merlin sipped his coffee to hide his reaction.

Eggsy scowled a little. "Being a freak, being little. Why else would you put up with all of that, if it weren't at some point to fuck me like that? I mean it's a kink people have right? I know you love it when I call you Daddy when we fuck, so figured it were just you waiting until I were ready to mix it all up, so figured I'd just get it over with." He glared at Merlin. "Only I let you have what you want and it innit wot you want or somefing. So you know wot, yeah you be'er be apologizing." He crossed his arms and sank into his chair.

Merlin nodded and put down his cup. He stood and went into the house and came back out with a small box all wrapped at pretty. He put it on the table. 

Eggsy tried not to look at it. "Wot you have apology gifts just in the hallway cupboard."

"No, I have anniversary gifts in the hallway cupboard." Merlin said.

Eggsy stilled.

"Next week, it is two years from that first date we had." Merlin looked at the box. "I had plans." He nudged the box towards Eggsy, "But I feel this is more relevant now. Open it."

Eggsy made sure his fingers didn't shake as he opened the box. Inside there were a few things, tickets to a play, and a reservation for a hotel suite after. And below that was a key and envelope. "I already have a key to the house Merlin."

"Look at the papers." Merlin said.

Eggsy stared at the deed to the house that had his name on it now as well. "I got you a sweater." Eggsy blurted out.

"I'm sure it is a nice sweater." Merlin smiled. "I want you to move in. Proper move in Eggsy. I understand if ye want to keep your flat, that if ye need that space sometimes, but I would very much like it if ye considered this home."

"I do you know." Eggsy said. "I do, but how is this relevant?"

"Because I would think that this shows I haven't been putting up with shit." Merlin said. "Eggsy ye have been the light of my life for two years, no matter which version of ye it is."

"But you don't want...you turned me...ugh, you do like it when I call you Daddy when we fuck." Eggsy wished this was easier.

"I do, I like to hold you down and have you scream it as I bite ye." Merlin said. "That doesn't mean though, I dinnae know the difference, that I don't like the difference." Merlin looked at Eggsy. "I don't think I've been clear enough on how I view this, us, the things we do. And I am sorry for that. And I am sorry for just yelling and running from ye last night." Merlin opened his hands. "I have two Eggsy's." He raised a hand. "My lover, my love, my mental badass spy of a man, my core. He gives as good as he gets and makes me hungry, makes me happy, makes me angry. He is my everything." He raised his other hand. "And I have my darling boy, my sweet, innocent boy, who I love and care for, and have rules for. He is a joy, and sometimes a trial at bedtime. He is my everything too."

Eggsy looked at Merlin. They had never quite talked about it like this. Limits, understandings, but Merlin had never really told him how he viewed it all. He was scared to say anything, there seemed to be a spell over the garden.

"What binds the two together, is the love I have for all aspects of ye." Merlin said. "But, I keep them separate in my mind Eggsy. I have two of ye, adult and child. And when ye are little, I don't think of it as a game, I think of ye as my boy. Truly I do. Ye go into a mindset and I don't think you've proper realized that I do too." 

Eggsy shook his head. "I didn't." 

"I was never going to be a parent, but ye have made me a bit of one and I take that seriously. I take ye seriously Eggsy." Merlin looked at him. "I could never, ever fuck my darling boy. That would be abuse. Is that something ye really want?"

"No." Eggsy shook his head quickly. "No, definitely not when I am really in that headspace. But I just thought, maybe playing at it...I dunno."

"I was scared last night, when ye were there in your little pants, teddy bear at hand, asking me to fuck my naughty boy in your younger voice. I could see you weren't down, but it caused such a clash in my brain, that I couldn't handle it." Merlin shrugged. "I should have explained better, but I was scared if we played like that, what would happen if ye fell all the way down, midway through."

Eggsy paled at the thought. "Online, people seem to like playing that. I thought maybe we were doing it wrong."

"No, we are doing it exactly right for us. And ye know online is a terrifying place. I'd imagine there are people like us and people who like the sorts of games ye are suggesting, I just don't think they are for us. Do ye?"

"No." Eggsy agreed. He looked at Merlin. "I should have just talked to you about it."

"I should have talked to ye more about how I view everything we do." Merlin answered.

"You really don't mind us then?" Eggsy asked. "You don't just put up with it, because the rest is good?"

"Eggsy, at my age I dinnae put up with anything I don't want to." Merlin paused. "Well except Harry, but he is sort of like malaria, just in my system and I endure."

"Will it be like this forever?" Eggsy asked.

"I don't know." Merlin said. "It is what ye need now, might not be for always, might be and we'll sort it out as we go."

"I googled handfasted you know." Eggsy said.

"Did ye now?" Merlin raised a brow.

"Yeah." Eggsy nodded. "It's a good word. A strong word. A someday word."

"Someday will be a good day." Merlin said.

"It will be." Eggsy agreed. He finished his coffee. "Wanna go tie me up to the head board and fuck me for some nice and adult make up sex?" He laughed as Merlin spluttered and choked on his own spit.

"Very much so." Merlin grinned once he could speak again. "I'll get the rope."

Eggsy followed Merlin into the house, carefully putting down the paperwork on the table. He would have to look into movers, the Kingsman were sure to have a truck.

"Eggsy get that ass up here, so I can pound it." Merlin yelled down the steps.

Eggsy grinned. "Coming, Daddy." His voice was adult and full of passion.

"Not yet, and not at all if ye don't move it."

Eggsy hurried up the steps.

 


	10. How He F***s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These boys just need some happy fun sexy times I think. Not sure really any plot here, just boning

"Eggsy!" Bors shouted. "Come have a drink with us, we're hitting that pub down the lane."

"Nah bruv, got plans. Expected home." Eggsy replied easily. He kept walking to the door.

"Merlin got you on a curfew?" The fellow agent teased. 

"Something like that." 

"Come on, one drink." Bors tried to weedle. "Just one...one teeny tiny drink. You are heading out early, so getting one drink, won't actually make you late. Let me kick your ass at pinball."

Eggsy paused. "No one kicks my ass at pinball."

"I would."

"Right twenty quid."

"Done."

A group of five went out and Eggsy figured no need to text Merlin, he'd be home on time.

************************

He was so not home on time. The best he could say was that he wasn't completely drunk. Just a little drunk, partially drunk.

Merlin sat on his sofa and was making notes on his clipboard. He raised a brow when Eggsy came tumbling in. Eggsy sat on the couch and grinned at him. "Hello foxy fella."

"Hello Eggsy." Merlin's face was blank. "I kept some dinner warm for ye in the oven, would ye like some?"

"I had crisps, I'm good." Eggsy said after a few moments. He nodded. "Yeah, I'm good."

"Perhaps some water then?"

"YES!" Eggsy cheered. "Oh that was loud. Yes." It came out as a whisper.

Merlin went and got him some water. "Did ye have fun?"

"Kicked their arses at pinball. Pinball Wizard, there has to be a twist." Eggsy was singing happily and Merlin watched him. He wasn't sure he had ever seen Eggsy tipsy, it was pretty adorable.

"We had plans Eggsy, we were going to go over budgets and figure out plans for perhaps ye moving in more remember?"

"Numbers, little charts, snooze." Eggsy faked snored. "You'll figure it all out and I'll happily chip in."

"I call or text would have been nice. Relieved my mind some." Merlin admitted. "I was concerned where ye were."

"Why didn't you just tap my glasses then?" Eggsy asked. He tried to tap the side and missed.

"Because Eggsy that is for work. I'll not spy on my partner." Merlin said.

"Oh." Eggsy blinked. "Are we partners then? That makes us sound like a law firm. Ooh can I see your briefs?"

"Ye could, but I am nae wearing pants." Merlin's voice was dry.

Eggsy immediately perked up. "Lemme see."

"Nae."

"Why not???" 

"Because ye could nae do anything with it."

"Could too! I could like totally do things." Eggsy protested. "Things with fingers and my mouth and like my butt. You like my butt."

"Eggsy could ye really get it up right now?" Merlin asked. "Because I am not in the mood for a drunken fumble." Merlin looked at him. "I had plans ye see, ones that involved tying ye up over the table and working ye open slowly while we discussed how we would split the bills. I know that sort of talk is boring for ye, so I was planning to edge ye during the talk until you cried and begged and then I would be merciful and let ye come on my tongue." Merlin smiled. "And ye missed that to hold a pinball record."

Eggsy's eyes were wide in horror. "Oh god, so wasn't worth it."

"Nae, I don't think it was." Merlin got up and moved to crowd Eggsy on the couch. "Ye call me when ye go out. I dinnae give a fuck if you have plans or want plans. I get that things come up with friends. But ye let me know, because it is courtesy to your loved ones to let them know when ye are changing plans. Ye don't leave someone to worry if ye've been in a car crash or mugged or some such." Merlin's voice is a growl. "I don't forget you, and you don't forget me. And I promise that tomorrow when ye are sober and so long as ye don't safe word out, I will make it very hard for ye to forgot me again."

"Gulp." Eggsy said.

Merlin's smile was sharp. "Drink more water and come to bed Eggsy."

"Yes sir." Eggsy went to the kitchen as Merlin went upstairs. His last thought before passing out was, that he was so screwed.

God he hoped he was screwed.

****************************

In the morning made the coffee strong and a little bitter, how he liked it for a hangover. He was ready to baby Eggsy he was going to feel horrible. Only of course the man came downstairs wincing a little at the light and sounding relieved when he saw the coffee and breakfast sausage. "Oh you are so the guv."

"How are ye not still crippled in bed?" Merlin asked.

"Well had those couple of glasses of water and well...mid twenties." Eggsy smiled and shrugged.

Merlin frowned. "I hate ye." His last time he had one extra scotch with Harry he felt it until the afternoon. "I hate ye so much. Mid twenties arse." Merlin kept muttering about youth while he finished cooking. "Eat your hangover food."

Eggsy leaned over and gave him a kiss. "I'm sorry I'm young and still have a stupid high tolerance."

Merlin rolled his eyes but smiled at him. "I am glad ye aren't in pain."

Eggsy dug in and happily ate. "I am sorry I didn't call. Not used to people caring about where I am."

Merlin nodded. "Thank ye, would nae have had a problem with ye going out, just was worried that I never heard from you."

"Yeah, it would suck if you did that, so figure I've learned my lesson?" Eggsy blinked innocently.

"If ye say so, then I'll believe ye." Merlin smirked a little.

Eggsy frowned. Not quite the answer he had expected.

Merlin left him to hang for a minute. "But perhaps ye need a reminder lesson, to really focus on why it is important to call your loved ones?"

"Yeah, a reminder, something to help it stick in my head would be great."

"Go shower and be thorough." Merlin's voice was dark and low and made Eggsy shiver. "And no wanking."

Eggsy grinned. "Yes Daddy."

Merlin did the dishes and fussed a little before going up to the bedroom. He got a few supplies out of his drawer and waited on the bed. A couple minutes later Eggsy came out of the shower, pink, steam coming off of his skin. Merlin's smile grew wicked. "Oh what a treat ye are for me. Perhaps ye being in your mid twenties does have some advantages." 

Eggsy ran a hand down his still wet chest. "Yeah? You like Daddy? Going to spank me for being naughty?"

"Nae."

"Oh." Eggsy kind of wanted that.

"Ye have a meeting with Harry within the hour, remember? That upcoming trip to Beijing." Merlin reminded him. "Come here and kneel on the bed, brace your hands on the wall."

Eggsy hurried over and scrambled up. Merlin grabbed the lube and began to work Eggsy open. "Your meeting should be a couple hours and then ye have a follow up in weapons to prep for the trip. But I had thought we could have lunch together."

Eggsy gasped as two fingers were moving in him. "Yeah, lunch sounds great." He leaned his head on the wall. "Really, really great."

Merlin kissed his shoulder. "And ye won't get distracted and forget?" There were three fingers now.

"Oh god no." Eggsy said. "No, god no, won't forget you Merlin."

Merlin pulled his fingers out and slid the thin plug into Eggsy's ass. "Good and this will help you remember. You'll feel me all morning. Know that I put that in ye." Merlin then quickly snapped a cock ring into place around Eggsy. "And that will help ye not get too distracted."

Eggsy groaned at the feelings. Merlin rubbed his back until he was calm. 

"Walk a little. The plug is flexible so ye shouldn't be too hindered or awkward." Merlin looked at him. "Do ye have a problem with this?"

Eggsy shook his head. "Nah Quinn, this should be fine. Can feel it all, but it ain't to giant though. Thanks for that." He grinned a little. "Gonna fuck me at lunch?" He asked.

Merlin just kissed him. "Perhaps."

They dressed and went into the office. Eggsy squirmed a little on the bullet train but was otherwise okay. Merlin settled into his office and Eggsy got tea and cookies for he and Harry. He went to Harry's office where Harry was looking a little rough.

"Sir?" Eggsy asked. He put the tray down. "Harry ye okay?" He looked a little closer. "Wait. Isn't that the tie you had on yesterday?"

Harry blushed a little. "I'm sure I don't know what you are talking about."

Eggsy grinned and bounced on his heels. "Harry got some."

Harry blushed a little more. "So Beijing." 

"Want the name Harry." Eggsy crossed his arms. "Did they treat you right, were you safe? Do I need to go have a talk with anyone?"

"Yes we were safe, and no, you aren't talking to anyone, and you will never wrest a name out of me." Harry glared. "Give me a cookie and we are talking about Beijing." 

"Sure." Eggsy would get the details out of him later. He got Harry his cookie and they started the meeting. After about half an hour though Eggsy ended up shouting. "Oh holy mother fucking fuckity fuck."

"I thought that third story window worked well as an alternate exit." Harry said mildly.

Eggsy nodded and gripped the desk tight as he discovered that the plug in his ass vibrated and Merlin clearly was able to control it from a decent distance. Eggsy took a breath, it was a low vibration, distracting and lovely, but not too much. He moved and tapped the side of his glasses.

Merlin's voice was in his ear. "Colour lad."

Eggsy looked at the building plans. "Where does that green line lead to? What about that yellow one?"

Harry looked at him. "The green are trees, Eggsy, the yellow is...I don't even see yellow."

Merlin's voice was steady in his ear. "If I read ye right, ye like this, but don't want it to get much more intense."

"Sorry, sir." Eggsy said. Harry shrugged and kept talking.

"Very well Eggsy, this toy has five settings, and ye are at one now, it will nae go above two until we are together at lunch."

"Sounds great." Eggsy replied and Merlin shut down the connection. He bit back a whimper when the vibration spiked for a second and then settled back down. Harry kept talking about their plans and soon enough their meeting was over. "Right, looks good Harry."

"Indeed. Should be a simple mission all in all." Harry looked at him. "Now please leave and remember to maybe not include me in whatever sex games you and Merlin are playing." 

Eggsy tilted his head. "You have a hickey." Harry slapped a hand to his neck. He then scowled at him. Eggsy smirked. "There more than one?" Harry turned bright red. Eggsy swore when the toy went up a notch again. "Going now sir."

Harry waved him off. Eggsy walked down the corridors and quickly went to the bathroom to try to relieve the pressure. "No wanking." Merlin's voice came sharply into his ear.

"Merlin this is killing me."

"That is what the cock ring is for." But Merlin turned the vibration off. "Better?"

"Yeah, please tell me you'll fuck me at lunch? Please, please please." Eggsy begged.

"So long as ye are exactly on time." A quick spike of vibration before it was still. "Go play with guns Eggsy, it will distract ye."

Eggsy nodded. "Hate you."

"Love you." 

"Yeah that too."

*****************************

Eggsy was exactly on time.

"I see ye remembered me." Merlin said. "Ready?" Eggsy nodded and Merlin turned the toy up to three. Eggsy's knees melted out from under him. "I have my room ready."

"Room?" Eggsy asked. Merlin helped him walk to a wall and Merlin tapped and his small little hidey hole opened up. There was a table, a small bed, a little fridge. "Why didn't I know about this?"

"Ye dinnae ask. I preferred a space close to my office instead of one of the bedrooms at the other end of the building." Merlin coded the door behind them. "Get naked lad."

Eggsy stripped down fast and Merlin nudged the toy up to four. Eggsy didn't hold back the whimper this time. "You fucker."

"Didn't forget about me today did ye?"

Eggsy paused. "I never actually forget about you, you know. You are always there in the back of my mind. Just this little Merlin place. My Quinn spot."

Merlin melted a little and went over and kissed Eggsy. "Oh lad, ye are always in my mind as well." He slid a hand down Eggsy's back and nudged the plug. "Did ye like it?"

"Yeah, yeah I did." Eggsy sank his teeth into Merlin's neck. "Want to play more with this sort of thing at home."

Merlin was getting hard, Eggsy always knew exactly where to bite. "I am amenable to that."

Eggsy sank to his knees. "Need your cock in my mouth Daddy." Merlin unzipped his trousers and pulled his half hard cock out. The rest of his clothes stayed perfectly in place. Eggsy licked the bobbing tip, laved it before wrapping his lips around Merlin and sucking. He didn't bring it all into his mouth, he couldn't anyways, he wasn't so great at deep throating, but he kissed and licked and sucked and Merlin was hard and rocking his hips a little.

"On the bed lad, kneeling, hands braced on the wall." Eggsy scrambled to obey and for just a moment Merlin turned the toy up to five and Eggsy's head thumped against the wall. 

"Please Daddy, this is fucking hurting at this point." Eggsy moaned. His cock was hard, the ring on it stopping him from really enjoying it.

Merlin got on the bed and turned the plug off. He then carefully slid it out of Eggsy and tossed it into the bag he had left in the room. He grabbed some lube and pushed three fingers in. "Oh fuck." Eggsy slurred.

"Good enough?" Merlin asked as he leaned in and bit Eggsy's ear.

"Yeah Daddy, put your fucking cock in me." 

Merlin gave Eggsy's ass a pinch but did as Eggsy demanded and sank his length into Eggsy. He gave a few slow strokes and Eggsy swore. "Come on, after all that teasing, fuck me hard you son of a bitch."

"Mmmm I like it when you are pushy in bed." Merlin said.

"I'll show you pushy if you don't get moving you asshole." Eggsy snarled. Merlin grabbed Eggsy's arms off the wall and twisted them behind his back so that Eggsy toppled a little forward, cheek against the wall. 

"Behave." Merlin said but he began to snap his hips hard and fast. He pounded into Eggsy, held the young man's arms tight. Luckily the wall was smooth, otherwise Eggsy's cheek would be well scraped with how it bounced against. Merlin was brutal, punishing, and Eggsy loved it.

"Babe the cock ring. Please Daddy." Eggsy begged, but Merlin ignored him and kept fucking him hard. Merlin pushed and pushed and yanked Eggsy's hair hard to pull him up and Merlin came, swearing in Eggsy's ear.

Eggsy was sobbing, desperate. Merlin used one hand to hold Eggsy's wrists and the other released the ring around Eggsy's cock. A couple of strokes and Eggsy was coming all over the pillows and wall. "Ye are cleaning that up." Merlin warned as he gave Eggsy a couple extra strokes until the touch switched from pleasure to pain. Eggsy's brain was so foggy he didn't even think just bent down and licked the wall clean.

Merlin moaned. If he had been capable of getting hard again, that sight would have done it. "Fuck Eggsy, ye kill me."

Merlin moved the come covered pillow onto the floor and lay them both down for a snuggle. "Was this good?"

"So fucking good." Eggsy said. "Don't want stuff at work all the time, but as a sometimes treat, fuck yeah."

"We deserve treats, ye leave for Beijing in a couple days and are likely to be gone a month." Merlin stroked his hair. "When ye come home, we'll move what you want in."

"Merlin, could you maybe arrange that while I'm gone, so I just come home to your place?" Eggsy asked quietly.

"Aye, what do ye want kept at your flat?" Merlin asked.

"No, I don't need that space, we'll figure out how it all works, but if I need space I can come to the estate for a night, or bug Harry or something. I don't need the flat. Don't want the flat, just want you and your little house."

Merlin kissed his head. "When ye come home from Beijing, everything will be in place." He promised.

"Good. I need a fucking shower." Eggsy said. Merlin pointed at the small door opposite the bed. "Thanks babe. For everything yeah?"

Merlin nodded and pushed him away. He stood up and realized his clothes were a little wrinkled but there were no stains, so he just zipped his trousers and smoothed his sweater. "I'll be right back Eggsy, meet me in the office, I'll have food."

"You're the best." Eggsy called over the water. "This shower is tiny as fuck."

"Aye." Merlin agreed. He went to the kitchen and pulled out the leftovers. Harry stood in the doorway.

"Really at the office?" He looked at the fresh bite on Merlin's neck.

Merlin stared at Harry's hickey. "I know who left that mark on you."

Harry paled a little. "Right then, hope you had fun. I have to go." And he hurried away. Merlin grinned, Harry liked his secrets, but Merlin always knew everything about him. Merlin took the food to the office and waited for Eggsy to finish his shower.

 


	11. How He Endures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy in Beijing

**Week one**

"Hey Merlin."

"Hello Galahad."

"I am ridicu bored."

"Oh?"

"The mark just sits in the damn park. Feeds birds and reads." Eggsy yawned. "At 6 bloody am. Why did I get sent on this mission, ain't exactly know for my patience."

Merlin smiled a little. "I think it was to teach your patience. Also when things actually happen they are going to be best suited for your up close skills." Merlin paused. "Are ye holding up fine Galahad?"

"Yeah guv, just bored. Eating good food though." Eggsy smiled. "Oh look, time to go feed the ducks."

"Keep us updated on any changes Galahad."

"I've started dressing right instead of left just to shake things up a little." Eggsy offered.

Merlin closed his eyes. "I meant pertaining to the mission."

"Oh, he is feeding the ducks a few metres left of where he usually does."

"Goodbye Galahad."

 

**Week two**

"Right, Merlin, long term missions aren't for me." Eggsy said in the flat he was hiding out in.

"Tis a good thing we have no intentions of sending you on one then isn't it?" Merlin replied.

"Two weeks and an expected two more." Eggsy groaned and flopped back. "Like I've done good -"

"You've done great." Merlin interjected.

Eggsy smiled to himself pleased. "But this is just killing me, hiding, playing tourist constantly. How do the long term guys do it?"

"They have different training than ye." Merlin explained. "They actually had an additional full year of training after they joined the table on how to deal with it."

"Jesus fucking christ, I thought my couple extra months was brutal." Eggsy sighed. "Miss you."

"This is being recorded." Merlin said mildly.

"Wot do I care, everyone knows we shagged and not like I'm looking for phone sex, too bloody hot."

"I miss you as well Galahad, the moving of your shoe collection is taking longer than anticipated."

Eggsy snorted. "Yeah?"

"Indeed.  I've added an extra shoe rack to the hall." Merlin could be heard typing. "I have also procured some surprises for you upon your return. Including three weeks off."

"You got three weeks off too?"

"No, but I do have ten days booked off." Merlin typed some more. "I'm sending you new intel."

Eggsy goes over to his tablet. "Got it. Looks like I'll be moving."

"Sorry."

"No, breaks the monotony." Eggsy paused. "What are we going to do with the time off?"

"Go on vacation, hide in the house, whatever ye like." Merlin said.

"Could we go to Scotland again?" Eggsy asked. "See your family, maybe do some tourist crap?"

"Ye want to spend your vacation with my family." Merlin's voice is strange, a tone Eggsy doesn't quite understand.

"Well yeah, they are awesome and want to get to know them more. Even Bobby though she kind of is completely scary. And do some tours of like old castles and hunt down Nessie, tourist stuff." Eggsy swallowed. "Is this a problem?"

"No." Merlin cleared his throat. "Nae, it is nae a problem at all. I would love to go to Scotland with ye." 

There is silence for a few minutes.

"Merlin, you still there?"

"Aye." Merlin doesn't say more though.

"Did I do wrong?"

"Nae. Just...remember that word ye googled?" Merlin's voice is hesitant.

Handfasted, Eggsy thought. "Yeah. Yeah I do." Eggsy had for a second debated tattooing that word into his skin, it meant so much to him.

"I was nae going to suggest we think about that word until after we lived together for at least a year." Merlin explained. "But, when we are in Scotland, we could perhaps talk about it a little."

It was Eggsy's turn to be silent for a long time before he said. "We can talk about that word, yeah."

"Excellent Galahad. Good luck moving your location, next check in is marked at 36 hours from now."

"Check. Goodbye Merlin." Eggsy exited the conversation hastily.

Fuck, he wished his was home.

 

**Week three**

"Galahad?" Merlin was at home when he got the phone call. It was a number he didn't know, but the area code was China. There was just harsh breathing. "Eggsy?" He could hear crying. "Are ye injured?" Merlin was quickly pulling up his computer, trying to see if he could somehow get eyes on Eggsy. He heard a sniffle and whimper. "Oh my darling boy, no." Merlin's heart stuttered at the thought of Eggsy aging down while so far away and in the middle of a mission.

"Nightmare. Dean was hurting me, Mum didn't care." Eggsy cried softly. "I don't like long field trips."

"What are ye calling me on Eggsy?"

"Throw away phone." He was crying. "Long field trips are bad."

Merlin hated them too. Eggsy and he had talked about it carefully and were sure Eggsy would be fine, but they hadn't counted on a nightmare. They had been fewer ever since returning from Scotland. And now he had to get his boy back into a decent mindset.

"Shhh, my darling boy, Daddy is here." Merlin crooned. "And you know who is with me? Paddington. He misses ye very much."

"Yeah?"

"Indeed. He has snuck into Daddy's bed a couple times, missing his Eggsy." 

Eggsy let out a watery giggle. "Daddy, that's silly."

"It's the truth, he's been fearsome lonely without you." Merlin swore. "Baby, can you be strong for Daddy? I know nightmares are very very scary and Daddy wishes he was there to hug you."

"I know, but scared." Eggsy said.

Merlin thought fast. "What about a game?"

There was quiet. "What sort of game?" Eggsy asked.

"A tricky, pretend game." Merlin said. "Ye know how we play Batman and robbers at home?" Merlin waited for an affirmative noise. "Well I want ye to play pretend. Super big pretend."

"Pretend what Daddy?"

"Pretend to be a super secret spy." Merlin explained. "Like Kim Possible or even the Avengers." Merlin had found the old Kim Possible cartoons and Eggsy loved them. "I know you are my sweet boy, my little guy, but I bet with an imagination like yours you could be the biggest, bestest, baddest spy around."

There were less sniffles coming through. "Super spy?"

"The superest." Merlin said. "Can ye pretend that for me?"

Some more quiet. "Yeah, I can be The Saint."

"There ye go. Nice and strong and clever."

"Paddington really misses me?"

"Aye, he does. So you have to be really good at pretending so that ye can come home to him soon."

"Okay Daddy." Eggsy said. "Need to destroy throw away phone now."

"I know, stay safe my darling boy." Merlin said.

"I will." And Eggsy was gone.

Merlin wiped a hand down his face. Shit, shit this wasn't good. They were going to have to reassess how they used Eggsy in the field. He was going to have to stay as more of a surgical strike player than lots of undercover work. But that sort of planning could be worried about later. He needed to get back up to him, now.

Merlin grabbed his phone. "Arthur." He said when the other line picked up.

"Merlin, report." 

"Galahad needs back up in order to finish the mission."

"I'll go." Harry said immediately. Merlin loved him a bit for it.

"Nae, you'll stand out to much. Most of our agents are busy right now. Except..." Merlin's voice trailed off.

"No. There has to be someone else."

"He is what Eggsy needs and will least impact the mission. He's a professional. Ye have made sure they spend little time together Harry, for personal reasons. But now is not the time for that."

Harry swore. "Tell Percival he's wheels up once he's properly debriefed and prepared. Less than 48 hours. My life is ruined."

"Yes your lover and your protege working together is a nightmare."

"You never have sympathy for my suffering." Harry's frown could be heard and Merlin as usual ignored it.

 

**Week four**

Eggsy held the gun tightly when there was a knock on the door. It was a Kingsman knock, but still. He opened and pointed. Percival didn't react at all. "Shit." Eggsy's eyes widened. "They sent you?" He had known after that phone call that Merlin would move heaven and earth to get him back up. He had woken up fine, his head back to normal, but knew Merlin would be worried. He had hoped for Roxy or Bors. Not the robot.

"Percival, uh come on in." Eggsy gestured. Percival walked into the flat and did his own assessment. Taking particular care to notice all the windows and the angles. "Mark is 3 across and one down. That window has the best angle if we need to take a shot." Percival gave him a look and settled in front of a different window. He unpacked his sniper rifle and glanced through the scope. "Won't that be a hard angle?" Eggsy asked. Percival gave him another look. "I swear I'm not taking the piss, but the other window it's a bit straighter line."

"Exactly." Percival said. Eggsy realized it was his first time hearing the man's voice and they had worked together for well over two years. "If his guards are worth anything they think they know the angles for attack. A little bit harder for me means actually more likely to get a shot if we need it."

"You lisp." Eggsy said and then he swore at himself. "Shit, bruv sorry, been mostly alone the last few weeks, brain to mouth been cut off."

"I prefer honesty." His esses were soft and drawn out a little. "Chester hated it, so I developed the silent persona. Tried to talk in only hard words when I could."

"Don't seem so bothered now."

Percival smiled, it was gorgeous and blinding. Eggsy blinked at how sweet he looked.

"My lover likes the way I say sex, makes me say it constantly and all sorts of other soft words. I have grown much less worried about how I sound the last couple of years."

"That's nice." Eggsy smiled.

"It is nice to have a supportive partner who accepts and embraces all of you isn't it?" Percival's tone was mild.

"Merlin told you." Eggsy felt numb. Too many people now knew. Harry, Bobby, now this guy who was still sort of terrifying.

"He told me that you needed aid. That long term wasn't the best for your personality and you required back up to finish the mission. We all have strengths and weaknesses Galahad." Percival looked through the gun again and leaned against the wall. "All that matters is that we get home to the ones we love."

"That's all he told you?" Eggsy's leg was jittering.

"If he told me anymore it was only to ensure your safety and need never pass my lips." Percival looked at him. "Galahad you are a fine agent and I support you."

Eggsy nodded, relieved but still a little nervous.

Percival sighed and decided to distract the lad. "Beside you being occasionally little is nothing compared to half the shit I have to put up with from Harry."

Eggsy's jaw actually dropped. "You're hickey man!!!!!!!" 

"Tell me he didn't call me that." Percival groaned. "Jesus fucking christ bad enough when he calls me cuddle bug, and love monkey."

"Love monkey?" Eggsy grinned.

"Apparently I cling during sex."

"The lisp does make sex sound neat." Eggsy said.

"Lovely. Can we kill people now?" Percival asked.

"Not for another three days." Eggsy said. "So you could tell me all sorts of stories in the mean time."

Percival smiled. "Very well, though Harry will hate this."

"I know." Eggsy rubbed his hands together in glee.

***********************

The mission went off without a hitch and they packed up. "We have an hour until extraction. I always buy Harry a souvenir when I can." Percival looked at him. "He likes tea."

Eggsy shrugged. "Yeah finding something for Merlin sounds good." They went to a market and browsed some wares. "Really don't bother you?" Eggsy asked. "What you know about me?"

Percival picked up a tea cup and put it down. "I don't fathom it." He said. "It is something that personally doesn't make sense to me. But that doesn't mean I can't support a colleague, a friend."

"We friends now bruv?" Eggsy saw something in the corner and went to examine.

"Friends through association anyways." Percival made a couple purchases. 

"It affected the job."

"It changed the job. You think you are the first to struggle in a situation like this?" Percival watched as Eggsy bought Merlin a leather bracelet. "Others have needed aid when isolated as you have been."

"Really?"

"Ask Harry about Brazil 2002." Percival said. "That should help ease your mind." They went to the car and drove to the small airstrip where their plane was waiting. "I go for days without speaking, just refuse to say a word. It has impacted the job. We learn, we cope. We endure, because we are stronger than the things in the dark."

"I like you." Eggsy said as they buckled in. "Maybe we could do some double date shit once we're settled back home."

"That could be interesting indeed."

When they finally returned to the estate Arthur and Merlin were waiting to greet them. Harry glared at Merlin as they came out. "Look, they've bonded. I hate you."

Merlin smiled at the two laughing men. "It seems they have. Good for them."

"Good for them???? Good for them??? Bad for me!!!!! There will be three of you against me now. He was on my side and now, now you all have drawn him to the dark side." Harry scowled. "Not fair." He straightened as the two came up to them. "Report agents."

"Successful mission sir." Eggsy said, standing at attention. "Target and all the files acquired or neutralized. Was a learning experience for me about what I am capable of as a Kingsman."

"We will discuss that when you return from your vacation. File your report agent and then you and Merlin are off."

Eggsy gave a little salute. "Yes sir." He then grinned. "When I get back, so many questions for you Harry."

Harry looked sharply at Percival who just smiled back. "I brought you home tea." Percival said. "Eggsy and I also made double date plans."

Harry blinked. "Oh come on!" He shouted. He stalked off towards his office. Percival gave a nod to Merlin and Eggsy and walked after to go collect his pouty lover.

Merlin looked at Eggsy. "Are ye okay?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah." Eggsy smiled. "Want my vacation with you, but he was a good send. I'm okay."

Merlin nodded. "Good."

They walked towards the offices. And Merlin clued in. "If he shared about Harry, what did ye share about me?" He tried for a casual voice.

Eggsy smirked. "Oh just things. We had a lot of time to kill." Eggsy whistled and peeled off for his office.

Merlin stopped in the hallway. 

Harry had actually been right, them becoming friendly was a horrible idea.


	12. How Everyone Suffers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> author runs and hides

“How is she so small?” Eggsy asked. He looked at Merlin who sat on the other side of the bed. “I mean, I know she’s little, but how is she so small? Or is the bed too big? That’s it - they gave her a weird over sized bed and it’s distorting her.”

“Eggsy.” Merlin whispered.

“No don’t whisper. Whisper is like church or death beds, this giant stupid bed isn’t a deathbed.” Eggsy said. “And the sheets are too white, they are wot’s making her pale, not -” Eggsy choked back a sob.

Merlin got up and hurried over to him. He wrapped one arm around Eggsy and put his other over the top of the hand that was holding Daisy’s fingers. “Eggsy, she’ll make it. She has your heart, your courage.”

Eggsy looked at the very still Daisy. “No four year old should have a breathing tube Merlin.” He leaned into him. “Is it because we went away? Because I was in China and then only saw her for a day and we were gone?”

“No lad.” Merlin looked at him. “This is nae your fault. She caught a virus at school and apparently our Daisy is someone who has a generally compromised immune system. Since she’s nae been very sick before, it wasn't caught until now.”

Eggsy looked at his sister. “The bed is too big though right? I’m imagining it?”

“It is a little big for such a wee lass.” Merlin said. He kissed Eggsy’s head. “She’ll make it Eggsy.”

“Even with her bum system, it shouldn’t have gotten quite this far Quinn. Caught earlier, she wouldn’t be like this. Why didn’t Mum notice how bad she was getting?”

“That lad I cannae answer right now, but I promise ye, that I will have the answer eventually.” Merlin in fact had Harry and Percival looking for Michelle who had disappeared after the ambulance had brought Daisy to the hospital. “All we can do right now is wait. Praying wouldn’t be remiss if ye are the sort for it.”

“Never prayed for me, but I will for her.” Eggsy said. He looked at her. “She’s just so little.”

“She’ll grow.”

“Mum drank and smoked. During the pregnancy. Didn’t know she was pregnant for the first few months. Mostly gave up booze but not the cigs.” Eggsy looked at Merlin. “That’s where the little and bad immune system come from I guess.” 

Merlin wiped away Eggsy’s tears. “She’ll wake up.”

“And if she doesn’’t?” Eggsy asked. “How will I fix that hole in my heart Quinn?”

“She’ll wake up.”

“It was a good vacation you know. Sorry we cut it short.” Eggsy said. “She’d like Scotland, love your family’s farm.”

“They’d love her.” Merlin said. “My parents would spoil her fierce.”

“She deserves some spoiling.” Eggsy said. “She’d like that castle you took me to, and those toffee cookies at that cafe.”

Eggsy let out a sob when her fingers twitched under his. 

“ooies?” Daisy slurred around the breathing tube before she settled back into her deep sleep.

“Merlin you heard that right? Tell me you heard that.”

Merlin had to loosen Eggsy’s grip on Daisy’s fingers. “Aye lad I heard that. I’ll call the nurse and we’ll inform them that she briefly woke up.” He made to stand but Eggsy stopped him.

“Quinn.” Eggsy was shaking.

“This is good Eggsy, this is very good.” Merlin promised.

“I’ve been here for 30 hours Quinn and scared the whole time.” His eyes were huge. “I’m hanging on by a thread.”

Merlin nodded, he understood. He gripped Eggsy’s chin tight and kissed him hard. “And ye will hold onto that thread as long as ye have to, won’t you? You’ll hang on for her and for yourself until I tell you that ye can let go of it.”

Eggsy took a harsh breath in, and relaxed his shoulders a bit. It was almost like an order on a mission. He could do this. He took another breath and moved his hand back to Daisy’s. “Go get the nurse.”

*********************

It was another day before Daisy stayed steadily awake and another 10 hours before they took the breathing tube out. The first thing she said to Eggsy after Merlin fed her an ice chip was, “Go home and sleep. You look like poo.”

Merlin laughed a little and Eggsy looked stunned, and a little like poo.

“Daisy Baker, language.”

“I didn’t say shit.”

Merlin laughed more and Eggsy hit him. “Not helping.” He hissed.

“Can’t leave my darling girl.” Eggsy said.

“Uncle Quinn, make him sleep.” Daisy said.

“He’ll nae go home unless ye are well cared for. If we left someone with ye would ye be okay with that? Someone we trust very much.” Merlin asked.

“Roxy?” Daisy asked.

“Aye, her and my best friend, Harry. Ye have met him a couple times.”

Daisy nodded, “Mad Eye Moody.”

Eggsy laughed for the first time since they came to the hospital. “Yeah him. We call them to stay with you and then I’ll go home for a couple of hours.”

“Okay then.” Daisy yawned and fell back asleep the small conversation having worn her out.

45 minutes later Roxy and Harry were ensconced in the room. Eggsy was completely wrung out and swayed as he stood.

Merlin picked him up. “Doctors and nurses only.” He said to them. They nodded their agreement.

“Percival is looking for Michelle.” The sneer in Harry’s voice was palpable. 

“We need her alive Harry.” 

“She’ll live.” It wasn’t comforting.

Merlin carried Eggsy out and to the Kingsman car waiting out front. He held him the whole drive to the house, Eggsy shivering from exhaustion. He carried him into the house and settled him on the bed. He went and got the comforter from the other room and Paddington. He wrapped Eggsyin the blanket and put the bear in his arms. 

“Okay my darling, ye can let go of the thread now.” Merlin said, rubbing his hands over Eggsy’s back.

Eggsy took a few breaths and seemed like he wouldn’t but then Merlin had a quivering, sobbing Eggsy in his arms. The pain pouring out of Eggsy was heartbreaking.

“Daddy she almost died, if...if you didn’t monitor her, if you hadn’t checked why she hadn’t been in school. Oh god Daddy my little flower, my heart. They put tubes and needles into her and told us they didn’t know if she would be fine. A tiny little girl who should be playing and barbies and lego and she was hurting and not awake and Mum said she had been faking, making it sound worse. She didn’t even realize Daisy wasn’t waking up.” Eggsy just let out a primal scream of rage.

Merlin rubbed his back as more words just poured out of Eggsy. He honestly couldn’t tell if it was adult of little Eggsy screaming and crying, and he supposed it didn’t matter really. All he could do was comfort the lad. 

Eventually Eggsy wore down and just sank against Merlin. “Daddy everything hurts.” Merlin saw a thumb sneak into his mouth.

“Oh little sparrow, we’ll make that better. Daddy will draw you a bath.”

“No can’t be little now, she’ll need me.” Eggsy was struggling against his own brain.

“Sparrow, take a couple hours to heal yourself or you’ll be no use to her.” Merlin said soothingly. “My darling boy was so strong, so amazing for his family. Now, now he can be amazing to himself.” He kissed Eggsy’s head. “I have a special bath bomb I’ve been saving. Found ye one that is black and sparkles. Will make a proper mess of the tub.”

“That could be neat.” Eggsy said. “Daddy, it hurts.”

“I know it does lad.”

“I ended up in the hospital couple of times, not for like her, but for ouchies.” Eggsy said. “Bed always was too big.”

“Oh my darling boy.” Merlin kissed him. “Did your mother make the ouchies.”

“Nu-uh, the guys she dated. Dean. Mum only took me when it was broken ouchie.”  Eggsy said. “Not cut or burn ouchie.”

That explained the faint scars on Eggsy. “Good thing you have me isn’t it. No more at home ouchies.”

“Heard Mum, she left flower alone while sick for a date.” Eggsy said, looking at Paddington.

Merlin’s jaw hardened. He was beginning to wish he hadn’t told them to keep Michelle alive. “We’ll sort this out.”

“Promise?”

“Aye my darling boy and ye know I never break my promises to you.” He pulled the blanket away and began to strip Eggsy down. “Go to the toilet and then I’ll get your bath going.”

Eggsy went to the bathroom and Merlin quickly tapped his glasses. “Percival, when ye find her, if she comes in a little bruised, well I’m sure it was an accident.”

“Understood.” Percival disconnected.

Merlin heard the toilet and went to the bathroom and began the water. “Pick out your toys Eggsy.”

Eggsy went under the sink and pawed through his basket and got the rubber duckies. Merlin had ordered custom ones so that along with the one that looked like Merlin, there was also a Harry, Eggsy, and Roxy. He took Merlin’s hand and sank into the water. Merlin dropped in the bomb and Eggsy giggled as he always did.

Merlin sat on the toilet and watched as Eggsy played and some of the tension left his shoulders.

“After the bath, would ye like hot chocolate and some cartoons?”

“Yeah Daddy, that sounds good.” Eggsy said. He looked at him. “Daddy?”

“Yes baby?” Merlin soaped up a flannel.

“I have a bad Mum.” It was the first time Eggsy had been blunt about it. 

“Aye. And I am sorry for it.”

“We need to do something so Daisy doesn’t have a bad mum no more.” Eggsy said. “We can do that right?”

“We can try.”

“Okay.” Eggsy knew that Daddy always tried as hard as he could.

They finished in the tub and Merlin dried Eggsy off and put him in Winnie the Pooh jim jams. He put on some cartoons and went to make them hot chocolate. He came back and Eggsy was buried under blankets, his thumb in his mouth.

Merlin sat down and gently pulled the thumb out of Eggsy’s mouth. “Hot chocolate.”

“Thank you Daddy.” Eggsy sipped his drink and watched his show, drowsy from lack of sleep and too many feelings. By his fifth yawn in as many minutes, Merlin turned off the t.v. 

“Time for bed lad. Which one?”

“Can I sleep with you Daddy, scared of dreams.” Eggsy admitted. “Maybe Paddington and Batman too?”

“It will be a crowded bed but we’ll manage.” Merlin teased.

They went up and settled in. “Have to be big in the morning, lots of things to do.”

“But that is the morning, my darling boy. Let it be until then and take your sanctuary in my arms.”

“Read the underground book.” Eggsy said. 

Merlin tapped his glasses and began to read Gregor the Overlander to Eggsy. In the morning Eggsy woke still little and Merlin coddled him and comforted him. And eventually Eggsy aged up, once the relief of Daisy being fine truly sank in.

“She’s gonna be okay Quinn.”

“She is.” Merlin agreed. “And so are you.”

“Okay, let’s go, see what the doctors say.” Eggsy said. He leaned into Merlin and kissed him. “Thank you.”

“Oh lad, it is ever my pleasure.”

“You deserve a toy reward.” Eggsy said, thinking about his sticker chart and the bucket high up in Merlin’s closet.

“Hmmm, I have had my eye on some new throwing knives.” Merlin said thoughtfully.

“My treat.” Eggsy promised.

Merlin kissed him. “Come, I am sure Harry and Roxy need a break.”

***************

Harry and Roxy were playing go fish with Daisy who perked right up when she saw her brother and Merlin.

“I’ve won three games and I got a popsicle for breakfast.” Daisy told them. “And doctor said only 2 more days, to make sure my respa...respir...resapot.” Daisy frowned.

“To make sure your respiratory system wasn’t compromised.” Harry said. “They mistook me for her father, I didn’t correct them.”

Eggsy nodded, he didn’t have a problem with that. “But we’re looking all good yeah?”

“Yes, it seems a full recovery is likely.” Harry smiled at Daisy. “You gave us quite a scare young lady. I’m afraid you’ll have to survive us spoiling you a great deal.”

“Mum says that Eggsy already spoiled me rotten and I need to learn to be quiet.” Daisy parroted.

All the adults stilled and each vowed to themselves to get a pound of flesh. Roxy and Harry both gave Daisy a kiss and left to help Percival hunt.

Eggsy and Merlin settled in with Daisy for the day. Around dinner time, Merlin’s glasses beeped.

“We have her, her flat.” Percival said. “She is in one piece.”

Merlin just hung up, they would know he was coming. He smiled at Eggsy and Daisy. “I need to pop out, Harry has locked himself out of his house. I’ll be back to pick ye up in a couple of hours Eggsy. And maybe I’ll stop and bring a wee lass a stuffed animal to help her sleep.” 

Daisy clapped and held out her arms. Merlin gave her a big hug and looked over at Eggsy. Eggsy didn’t know what to say, what he felt.

“Quinn.” Eggsy put all his confused feelings into that one word.

Merlin nodded. He understood well enough.

Merlin didn’t rush to the flat, he knew that she wasn’t going anywhere. He knocked on the door and Harry answered. Percival was sitting in the living room staring at Michelle. She wasn’t tied up, there wasn’t a bruise on her, but she was quietly crying.

Good.

Merlin went and sat across from her. “We are very disappointed in ye.”

She paled. “I didn’t know she were that sick!” 

“You went on a date and left a four year old alone.” Merlin’s voice was hard, each word a bullet.

“Yeah, to the pub not even at the end of the block and she were asleep and the neighbour checked on her every hour. And I were only gone three.”

“And when she dinnae wake up in the morning?” 

“Thought she were faking, like most kids do that don’t want to go to school.” Michelle protested.

“If we didn’t interfere, she would be dead.” Harry’s voice was hard.

“I swear, I didn’t know it were that bad.” Michelle said.

“I believe you.” Percival said. Harry and Merlin looked at him in surprise. “She’s not smart enough to pull off a lie in front of the three of us, and just smart enough to realize that.”

“Hey.” Michelle protested. “Promise I’ll look after my girl better.” She got a look in her eyes, Merlin couldn’t describe. And she sighed. “No I won’t.” She admitted. 

She slumped in her chair and looked tired, but also relieved to be telling the truth. “I’m a shite mum, and I don’t want to get better. I resent them both, and...I had a job offer in Bristol. I want that job with some old friends. It will be fun.”

She looked at them. “I already have the car packed, everything I want. I were just going to leave this envelope. There.” Merlin looked over and saw an envelope. “Her birth certificate, vaccine records, and a letter that I got notarized leaving her in Eggsy’s care. I’m shit, but maybe walking away makes me a little less shit.”

“You don’t do it for her, you do it for yourself.” Percival said.

“Sure, but you know Eggsy will spin it well for her.” She looked at them. “Let me walk, maybe give me a little gas money, and looky look, no one ends up dead.” Michelle smiled a little. "I ain't done fuck all for my kids, but I can do this one thing for them."

Merlin picked up the envelope. “Give her some money Harry. I cannae look at her.” Merlin walked out and went outside to breathe some fresh air. A few minutes later Harry and Percival stood next to Merlin.

“We have your back.” Harry said.

Merlin nodded. “I have to tell Eggsy.” He left them in front of the building. He went to the hospital where Eggsy was already sitting outside. 

He hopped in the car. “She fell asleep. Promised we’d be back in the morning.” He looked around the car. “No stuffed animal.”

“Nae.” Merlin answered.

“That bad huh?” Eggsy nodded. “Is she?”

“We dinnae harm a hair on her head.” Merlin said.

“So where is she then?” Eggsy asked.

“On her way to Bristol.”

Eggsy was quiet until they were home and in the house. He grabbed a beer and sat on the sofa. “She’s not coming back is she.”

“Nae.” Merlin handed him the envelope and Eggsy looked through it.

Eggsy nodded to himself and put it down. He finished the beer in the three gulps. “Right then. Simple innit? We raise Daisy and she’ll be happy and everything will be fine.”

Merlin looked at him. They had talked of handfasting, nothing for certain, but Merlin had pictured their wedding by his favourite tree. He didn’t suppose that would happen now.

  
“No Eggsy, everything will nae be fine. We cannae take Daisy in.”


	13. How He Holds On

Merlin seldom drank to excess and had been careful to not be more than tipsy since he and Eggsy had been together and it was so tempting to get shitfaced since he rather doubted Eggsy was ever coming back, but that felt too cliched. So he went for the other cliche and buried himself in his work.

If he stayed at work he didn’t have to see Eggsy’s shoes, or Paddington, or Eggsy’s room. If he worked until his assistant wheeled his work chair into a bedroom and dumped his sleeping form onto a bed, he could pretend that not having heard Eggsy’s voice in a week wasn’t killing him.

On the plus size all their records from the 70s and 80s were now properly digitized and all his mission plans were exquisite. His rifle scores were also the best they had been in a decade.

He lost 4 pounds and never changed his sweater.

He knew Eggsy was staying with Harry and was glad of it, and he knew that Daisy had joined them there two days ago. He had sent a gift basket for her and received a very nice thank you card.

Harry had hugged him. “Whatever is going on will be sorted out. I’ll take care of them in the mean time.”

“Thank ye.” Merlin didn’t mention that it was an in the mean time, that he knew he wouldn’t have Eggsy back. “Tell them....nevermind, it will nae matter.” Merlin went back to his computers.

Harry for his part had no idea what had happened, just that Eggsy had shown up at his house with a bag and asked to stay for a while. He had brought Eggsy in and put him in the guest room and got a child’s cot for when Eggsy brought Daisy in. When he asked about Merlin, Eggsy would shake his head and not say anything.

Daisy asked after Merlin but Eggsy told her he was busy with work. She felt better when the giant gift basket showed up.

Harry watched as Eggsy got quieter and more withdrawn, only responding to Daisy. He had to fix this. He waited until Daisy had been long in bed and poured he and Eggsy one drink.

“Time to talk Eggsy.” Harry said. “I am happy to have the two of you here, but you need to talk.”

“Nah, Harry, I’m fine.” Eggsy said with a smirk. “You know me bruv, always come out on top.”

“You have circles under your eyes and haven’t been to the office.” Harry replied. “He has lost weight and hasn’t left the office.”

“Like I care about him.” Eggsy said.

“If that were true you wouldn’t look like shit.” Harry decided to be blunt. “He looks worse. So why are you two camped out here when you three should be forming the perfect little family.”

Eggsy sneered. “See that’s the thing innit? He don’t want that.”

“I’m sorry?” Harry asked.

“He told me we couldn’t take Daisy in. Like it were a fact, like that would be the end of it. So I packed a bag and showed up here. My girl had enough being not wanted, ain’t going to make her go through that more.”

“What was his reasoning?” Harry asked as he pulled Eggsy into a hug. Eggsy was dead quiet. “Eggsy, it’s Quinn, he wouldn’t say something like that without having a lot of reasons.”

Eggsy was still quiet.

Harry sighed a little. “Did you just run, without details?”

“Wot do the details matter, he don’t want us.” Eggsy began to cry a little. “Why don’t no one ever want me?”

“Oh Eggsy, he wants you.” Harry said.

“He don’t want Dais, so he don’t want me.” 

“I somehow doubt that. I am sure he wants her very much.” 

“Bullshit.” Eggsy pushed away from him. “Look I know you two been like bros or some shit since the dawn of time, but I need you to have my back on this Harry. I can’t raise her without help and it looks like you’re the only family we got left.”

Harry looked at him and knew what Merlin would tell him to do, what Merlin would want him to do.. “Very well. I will stand with you. Just consider asking him why.”

“Sure, I’ll consider it real good.” Eggsy replied, flippant.

“Do you need me to collect anything from your home?” Harry asked. “And I need to remove you from the mission board.”

“Why you need to do that?” Eggsy asked confused.

“Because you can’t leave her right now. Not when she’s just been in the hospital, and you need to sort your living circumstances. I’ll list you as unavailable for three months.”

“Three months?” Eggsy was shocked. “And why can’t we just live here?”

“Because this is a bachelor’s home, Eggsy. It isn’t set up for a child and as much as I adore the lass I am more babysitter and fun uncle, not permanent fixture. You need your own place and a nanny.”

“Yeah, yeah okay, but I can take some time to sort that right?”

“Of course.” Harry replied. He pulled Eggsy back into a hug. “He loves you.”

Eggsy just shook his head.

*****************************

Eggsy took Daisy to the park after another week and after her saying for 3 days she was fine. The doctors had all also agreed, but he could help but be a little overprotective. She was going back to school next week as well.

He loved her so much and playing with her was great and she was his joy, his life, his everything.

He was bored out of his fucking mind not going into the office. No gym, no gun range, no planning a mission, let alone a mission. He had never had this much time without really doing anything and it was killing him. He had run a few parkour courses but it wasn’t quite enough. He was so restless.

“Push me higher Eggsy!” Daisy yelled.

“Of course my love.” Eggsy said. He pushed her and looked around the park figuring out how to incapacitate every adult there.

He sent her off to school and talked to her teacher and principal and they gave him a boatload of paperwork to fill out and he brought it to Harry’s and sat at the table and realized he hated all of Harry’s stuff, there was just so much of it. He started to fill in all the pages and got bored so he started poking into the drawers in Harry’s office and found some coloured pens and blank paper. Oh thank god something fun.

Eggsy began to happily colour, having time for himself for the first time in a while. He didn’t even realize he had drawn he and Merlin as superheroes, as he often did. It was only when he called out “Daddy look what I drew!” That it all came crashing down on him.

It wasn’t home, it was Uncle Harry’s. And Daddy didn’t want him.

Eggsy dropped to the ground and crawled under Harry’s desk and began to sob. He wanted his Daddy, but he made Daddy go away, or Daddy made him go away. It was all so confusing. Maybe Uncle Harry could explain it all when he came back for lunch.

He heard the front door and wiped away the tears. Uncle Harry would fix it. He ran down the stairs. “Uncle Harry, Uncle Harry! Help, my brain’s gone all mushy.”

And there was Percival.

Eggsy wondered why it was always the wrong person who saw him like this.

“Hello.” Percival said. “Harry got busy with an emergency meeting. He asked me to bring lunch.” Percival smiled. “I brought Happy Meals. The toy is Pokemon.” He grinned. “Gotta catch them all.”

Eggsy laughed. “How did you know I was...Are you psychic, magic?”

“No. I just like Happy Meals. It is why Harry jokes about them so much.” He held out the two boxes. “Cheeseburger or Nuggets?”

“Nuggets.” Eggsy said. They sat in the kitchen and ate their lunch. “Ponyta.” Eggsy said holding up his toy.

“Squirtle.” Percival said, the ess dragging just a little. “Trade?”

“Yeah.” Eggsy said happily. He looked over the squirtle and thought it was pretty cool actually, and he wasn’t that into pokemon. He watched Percival snap a photo. “Wot you doing?”

“I have an Intsagram for toys that come with meals.” Percival said dead serious. He held out his phone to Eggsy.

“You’re a dork.” Eggsy bit his tongue, that was the sort of name calling that could get him in trouble.

“I date your Uncle Harry, of course I’m a dork. Who else would have him?” 

Eggsy giggled. “Uncle Harry is great.”

“He is indeed.” Percival cleaned up their boxes. “And I know where he hides ginger snaps. Would you like a cookie Eggsy?” Percival cleared his throat a little as the name rolled uncomfortably out of his mouth.

“My name sounds neat when you say it.” Eggsy said. “Different but a nice different. Am I supposed to call you something, like Uncle Harry and Scary Auntie B?”

Percival looked at him. “Harry calls me Mac.”

“Can’t just call grownups by their first name, it’s not respectful.” Eggsy said. “Daddy says so.” He sniffled a little.

“Well then, what about Mr. Mac. Thought that makes me sound like a teddy bear.”

“I like it Mr. Mac.” Eggsy said.

“There we go then. I’ll go get cookies and we can talk.”

Eggsy went to the other room and curled up on the sofa.

Percival sat across from him and put down a plate of cookies. He looked at Eggsy and pulled the ponyta out of his pocket. He held it out in front of Eggsy and then made it disappear. Eggsy gasped. Percival did his minor slight of hand skills for a couple minutes while Eggsy watched impressed.

“You are really cool.” He said.

“Thank you Mr. Eggsy.” Percival said.

Eggsy giggled again and took a cookie. “Not an adult.”

“I know.” Percival looked at him. “It is a relief today to play isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Eggsy nibbled the cookie. “I coloured.”

“What did you draw?” Percival kept his hands moving, kept Eggsy distracted enough so he wouldn’t watch his words.

“Superheroes. Me and Daddy as a crime fighting duo. We have a whole story.”

“Wonderful.” Percival reaches across and pulls the toy from behind Eggsy’s ear.

“I miss Daddy.” Eggsy said. “But, he’s a bad Daddy, so maybe I shouldn’t miss him.”

Percival made the ponyta drop and disappear. “How is he a bad Daddy?”

Eggsy opened his mouth and closed it. “Uh...I have rules.”

“Adults have rules too. You should see your Uncle Harry if I leave my tea cup in the sink.”

“Bedtime.”

“Need a good night’s sleep.”

Eggsy is quiet. “He don’t want the little flower.”

“Ahhh, that would make him a very bad father indeed.” Percival agreed. “You are good to have run away from home. Who knows what would have happened next.”

“Right!” Eggsy agreed but then frowned at him. “Wot you mean about next?”

“Well all those rules, and ordering you to not even bring Daisy into his home ever?” Percival raised a brow. “That is quite nasty.”

“He didn’t say she couldn’t come in, just couldn’t come in forever.” 

“Still, sounds like he was secretly as bad as Count Olaf. I’m sure soon, he would have taken away all your toys, fed you gruel, perhaps even hit you.”

Eggsy through a pillow at him and stood up. “Daddy would never hurt me. He don’t spank or nofing. I have a thinking step! And he won’t never do something that innit for my own good - not ever. He always takes care of me.”

Percival stopped moving his hands. “He does take care of you doesn’t he? Even when it isn’t what you want, he makes sure you always have what you need.”

“Yeah he does, because Daddy is clever and always knows what’s best for me.” Eggsy stuck out his chin. “So there.”

“So there.” Percival agreed.

Eggsy paused. “Wait.”

Percival waited.

“You’re tricky.” Eggsy said. “Like super duper tricky.”

“It has been said.”

“I need a nap.”

“Do you want to be tucked in?” 

Eggsy looked at him and nodded slowly. Percival followed him up and tucked him in. “I’ll wake you in an hour.” Percival promised.

“You are really tricky. Warning Uncle Harry about you.” Eggsy told him. 

“Uncle Harry likes how tricky I am.” Percival tucked the blankets up and turned off the lights.

Eggsy drifted off, very annoyed at tricky adults.

 

He woke up on his own 45 minutes later and with a bit of a headache. “Hey Percival.” Eggsy said. Percival nodded.

“I have tea.”

Eggsy drank a cup. “I...fuck this all just sucks.”

“It does.” Percival. “Being an adult comes with only occasional rewards.”

“I want to keep Daisy close. I love her more than anything.” Eggsy said. “And not working, even one week is killing me. And what do I do, leave her for weeks? And maybe not come back?” Eggsy looked at him. “But if I don’t keep her, I’m just like Mum.”

“I think Eggsy you are having this conversation with the wrong person.”

“I need to get Daisy at school soon.” Eggsy said.

“Harry and I can watch her tonight.” Percival replied. “I think it is time you made Merlin leave the office.”

“He really not left?”

“Go, collect your sister and I’ll collect Harry. We’ll only spoil her a little.” Percival promised.

***************************

A few hours later Eggsy was wearing his best Kingsman suit, he needed the armor. He walked through the hall to Merlin’s office and paused, terrified by what he saw.

“Quinn?” Eggsy stepped in close. “Oh Quinn, baby let’s get you out of here.”

Merlin blinked and looked at him. He tried to straighten his shoulders and pretend like he hadn’t been wiping away some tears. “Galahad do ye have concerns about an upcoming mission?”

Eggsy looked at his face, the sharp lines now almost gaunt with pain. “No I have concerns about my personal life.”

Merlin nodded. “Of course I can arrange to have your things returned to your old flat.” A small shiver went through Merlin. “I thank ye for everything Eggsy. I truly wish you well.”

“Quinn.” Eggsy’s voice was broken.

Merlin looked at him. “I just want ye happy.”

“Then why? Why?”

“It dinnae matter. I ended us with it. If ye ever need a babysitter, I am available at your whim.” Merlin turned back to his computer.

“No. No more work. We’re going to our place and talking.” Eggsy looked at him. “Something we should have done at the beginning.”

“Eggsy.” Merlin looked at him. “Eggsy.”

“Let’s go Quinn.” He helped Merlin up. “And Jesus fucking Christ you are going to eat the food I put in front of you.” They go to a car. “You let yourself fall apart like this over me?”

“A man loses his core, he loses everything.” Merlin said. He doses a little on the drive. Eggsy puts him in the shower and makes some soup for them both. They sit and eat in quiet. 

“My cup is still in the sink.”

“Couldn’t bear to move it.” Merlin said. “Sentiment. Silly.”

“Why can’t Daisy stay with us Quinn?” Eggsy asked.

“I take it back. She can stay. I’ll retire.” Merlin quickly offered. “I’ll finish training my assistant and I’ll stay home and we can get a new bigger house and I’ll...I’ll be whoever you need, whatever you want.”

“You love your job.”

“I love you more.” 

Eggsy looked at him. “I thought it would be easy. She’s Daisy, my heart and my life, of course I’d take her in. I’d give her everything I didn’t have, everything she hasn’t had. And you’d be there and it would just all be perfect.” He looked at Merlin. “But...it wouldn’t be would it?”

“I’ll make it perfect.” Merlin promised.

“No Merlin. No, don’t.” Eggsy looked at him. “Don’t...cover. Don’t change your original response just to wot appease me, bring me back. You always...you never lie to me and I need you to be you right now.”

Merlin nodded. “I need the sofa for this.” Merlin walked out of the kitchen and sat on the couch. And he cuddled Paddington. “I work too many hours, though it is lessened since we became serious, but still that means a sixty hour week instead of eighty.” He plucked at the button eyes. “Ye work random hours. Nothing for days and then ye are gone in a moment.”

“And I might not come back.”

“And ye might not come back.” Merlin agreed. “Eggsy ye are just so restless, sometimes, ye chafe when things are too calm and orderly.”

“I know.” Eggsy said softly. He took a breath. “But it’s more isn’t it.”

“Aye. I’m not...I never intended to be a father, Eggsy.” Merlin said. “I would nae be good at it. I would be okay, but...she deserves more than okay.”

“You are amazing to me.” Eggsy said. He looked at Paddington.

“And that is pockets, moments in our lives, not sorting actual field trips and lunches, and kissing a bear each night. Hiding the guns and knives, corralling our language, no more talk of work at home. Plus she’ll have her own problems with the way Michelle was.”

They looked at each other and the topic of Eggsy himself hung between them.

“I can stop.” Eggsy said finally.

“You could, you could train yourself after a nightmare to remain in your big headspace and ye could pack away the crayons and bears and lego, and we could make your room Daisy’s.” Merlin looked at him. "You could find another way to keep yourself sane from the trials of the job."

Eggsy thought about it. “I...what does it say about me if I am choosing myself, my thing, over her? That makes me shit doesn’t it?”

“It says that until now, ye’ve never been put first yourself.” Merlin answered. “Eggsy, I said we couldn’t take her, because no matter how much I love her, how I want the world for her, I will always put ye first. That maybe makes me a selfish old man, but I can only care so much. I...can’t see a way we can keep her with how our lives currently are. And with how much we would have to change, I fear we would resent that beautiful and clever child.”

Eggsy started to cry and he moved over to the sofa and crawled into Merlin’s lap. Merlin hugged him and Eggsy realized he could feel Merlin’s tears drip onto his head. 

“I’m sorry lad, I’m so sorry.” Merlin said.

“I can’t be her Da, Merlin. I can’t. I want to so fucking bad, and I can’t do it. I can’t be what she needs and it is going to kill me.” Eggsy cried some more and Merlin held him tight. “I just want to her hold tight. Forever.”

“Ye don’t ever have to let her go.” Merlin said. 

“I do, at least a little, at least for right now.” Eggsy replied. “But, I have no fucking idea how.”

“I do.” Merlin said after a moment.

“How Quinn, what do we do?” Eggsy begged. “Because I don’t see a way that isn’t me just abandoning her like everyone else.”

Merlin moved them a bit, so that he could wipe Eggsy’s tears away. “Harry has given ye three months off. I will take the same, hang the job, I have everything prepped for the next six weeks at least.”

“And then what?”

Merlin smiled a little. “Why we do what every strong adult male with any brain does. We run home to Mama.” Eggsy frowned and Merlin caressed his cheek. “We pack Daisy and take her home, lad. We take her to Scotland.”

Eggsy looked at Merlin. Nodded a nd kissed his cheek. “I need to go to Daisy. Tell her we’re going on vacation. We’ll stay with Harry until we leave, one less change for her. And then, then we’ll go to Scotland.” Eggsy leaned into Merlin once more. “She deserves a proper home.”

“We’ll make sure she has one.” Merlin promised. “You’ll still be able to hold onto her, Eggsy. She’ll always be yours.”

“Yeah.” Eggsy agreed. “My girl. I’ll do right by her. I’ll let go.” Eggsy stayed curled into Merlin for a little longer, before going to Harry’s to tell Daisy they were going on an adventure.


	14. How He Lets Go

"Da..." Merlin sighed. "You dinnae have to bring the beast."

Duncan cackled. "Have ye nae figured out I bring the mini-bus just to annoy ye?" He pulled his son into a hug. And then grabbed Eggsy tight. "We'll take care of ye lad." He whispered. Eggsy leaned into the hug just a little. 

"Thanks." He answered before pulling away. "Daisy this is Quinn's father, Duncan."

Daisy was holding tight to Merlin and staring at the vehicle. "Lo."

Duncan smiled and scratched his chin. "Bet that flight was boring wasn't it?"

She nodded. "T.V. didn't work."

He shook his heads. "Planes, won't get me on one. But for having to endure all that, I'm thinking a brave girl deserves something." Duncan grabbed the teddy bear holding a chocolate bar off one of the seats. "Think this fella might suit ye?"

Eggsy looked at the bear. That had a mohawk, a leather jacket, and a tutu. Duncan grinned. "I love me build a bear for my grandkids. And little flower, iffen ye want to call me grandda that is just fine by me."

Daisy looked at Eggsy, who nodded. Daisy reached out and took the bear who was quite cute. "Thank you. I've never had a grandda before."

"Well we mostly have chocolate in our pockets and stories to tell and protect we lasses from boring parent rules." He said. Daisy giggled and held out her arms. Duncan smiled and picked her up.

"Da your back." 

"Bugger my back, it's fine enough to pick up a grandchild." Duncan said. "Now get your bags into the beast. We don't get this girl home to Claire soon, well you can deal with that fallout." Duncan looked at them. "Where is her booster seat?"

Both men looked at him. And Daisy nodded. "Told them we needed to pack it."

"Swear the good lord gave neither of ye practical sense. Luckily I stole one from Morgan's set." And sure enough there was a booster seat in the Beast. "Bloody amateurs."

Daisy smiled. "They are trying. They can't even sing the Frozen songs."

"I can." Duncan said.

Merlin and Eggsy ran out of the van by the time they reached the farm. "Mama, save me." Merlin begged.

Claire just pushed him out of the way. "Where's my new grandchild, I made tea cakes." She went over to the beast leaving the two men behind. 

Eggsy looked at Merlin. "So, this was the right call."

"Aye." Merlin went to get there bags.

Claire was pulling Daisy out of the vehicle and swatting her husband away. "You had your turn, mine."

"We're here for a few months Mama, ye both will have time."

Claire looked at him sharply. "And what about her schooling. A clever, bright lass like this should be in school."

Daisy looked up at Claire. "Told them that too."

"Of course you did. Can tell ye are already smarter than my boyo there."

"We talked with her teacher, there was only a month left and we can the four of us finish her lessons." Merlin said. "Ye were a bloody teacher Mama, think ye can handle it."

"Don't swear." Claire said. "Boys."

Daisy nodded and repeated. "Boys," in the exact tone.

"We got us a firecracker here." Duncan said gleefully, and produced a tiny bear from the glove box for Daisy that matched the big one. The two grandparents lead Daisy into the house. 

Merlin and Eggsy got the bags and just hoped there would be a tea cake or two for them.

********************************

Daisy was running around in the backyard, chasing bugs. They had been here a month and it had been wonderful. Merlin and Eggsy had talked a lot and healed their relationship and Daisy just grew so much being surrounded by loving people, who supported her. She had blown through her school work in a couple weeks, and now was learning all about the farm. Morgan and Kennedy had been by regularly with their families and Daisy had tons of people to play with and had even skyped with Jay who was stuck in Brazil.

The only ones she hadn't met were Bobby and her family, but Bobby had been super busy with work and was going to be down with her men in a couple of days.

Claire sat beside her son and watched Eggsy run around with Daisy. Duncan was stuck with dishes duty.

"We can't keep her Quinn." Claire said quietly. "We're young for our age, but we are our age."

"I know Mama." Merlin said. "I wanted her to have plenty of grandparent time, but I knew ye weren't our solution."

"And ye two aren't the solution?" Claire raised a brow.

Merlin looked at Eggsy swing his little sister around. "I wish to god we were Mama." He looked at her. "But ye know what we are. Tell me how that is fair to a child who has already suffered so much neglect."

Claire nodded. "A hard choice."

"The hardest, but here, even if not here, here, is going to be best for her. It's right Mama."

"Does she know yet?"

"No, we wanted to see who she responded to best. Jay isn't an option she travels too much. But Kennedy and Morgan have already offered her a home."

"That's not who ye meant your child for." Claire snorted.

Merlin smiled a little. "Nae. They were good mother's and would raise her well. Tea parties, and gentle encouragement."

"But."

"But." Merlin agreed. "I'll nae see her raised quite like that. I'll see her raised strong, fierce. Cunning. I'll see her raised the warrior she is."

"It will be a hard sell." Claire warned. "But your father and I agree and we'll support ye." Claire looked at her watch. "Daisy, time for your bath."

"Gramma will ye help?" Daisy asked, her voice already had picked up a bit of the accent.

"Of course darling." Claire held out her hand and Daisy skipped along.

Eggsy sat beside Merlin. "I love her so much."

"I do as well."

"She's so fucking happy here Quinn." Eggsy said. "We can't give her all this."

"Nae we can't."

"Bobby and the boys are here in 2 days." Eggsy said.

"Aye."

"Still think Morgan is the better call." Eggsy said. "They live next door, her husband manages the farm. She gets parents and grandparents. It's perfect."

"We'll see." Merlin replied. He held out his hand. "They'll bathe Daisy and settle in for cartoons. Care for a walk?" 

Eggsy took it. "Let's go make out by your tree."

******************

Bobby walked in her parents door and took one look at her little brother. "No." She was leaning on her canes a little more from being cooped up in the car, but glared away any help.

"I dinnae say anything." Merlin protested. He ignored the look his sister gave him and sat on the ground and rubbed her calves.

She would never mention how much it helped and how Merlin was the best at it.

"Ye dinnae need to. I know your face, and your heart and no." Bobby glowered at him as he switched legs. "I can barely keep up with Phillip."

"Sure you can."

Bobby grinned. "Sure I can. But work keeps me busy."

"Not so busy, and it keeps ye in one place, at the hospital." Merlin looked at his sister. "And I happen to know your husband is planning to take the early retirement package his office is going to give him."

"And how do ye know that, we haven't even told Mum and Da." Bobby hissed.

"Do ye think I use those computers just for work. I'm away, doesn't mean I don't keep an eye out." Merlin said.

"Ye spy on us." Bobby kicked him in the shoulder and toppled him over.

"HEY! NO FIGHTING!" Daisy yelled from the stairs. She came charging across the room and stood in front of Merlin, protecting him. "He was on the ground and you kicked him. You're mean and stupid and you are going to the time out corner right now!" Daisy stamped her foot and her braids quivered in rage.

Bobby looked at her stunned. She turned to her mother who was trying not to laugh. "You heard her, ye know better than to kick your little brother. Get marching."

Bobby sighed and grabbed her canes and got herself up. Daisy immediately felt bad. "Oh you have ouchies. I'll help you to the corner." Daisy moved to help Bobby walk. "You're Scary Auntie B, right?"

"I am." Bobby agreed. She went and sat on the stool her mom put there for her. 

"It's a minute for each how old you are." Daisy said.

"I'd be here almost an hour then." Bobby replied.

"Oh." Daisy thought about it. "Five minutes and no second cookie after dinner?"

"Deal." Bobby stared over at Merlin who was grinning. "NO!" She mouthed. He just kept grinning. Bastard knew Bobby's heart was already sunk. She had always wanted a little girl with spunk. Phillip was going to lose his mind over her and so was her husband. Bobby crossed her arms and glared at her brother more. She didn't like change. She heard laughter and saw her son pointing.

"Mum got time out already? Jesus usually takes until dinner for her to get that." Phillip crowed.

"I feel this might be a record." Cedric agreed.

"She kicked Uncle Quinn." Daisy explained, holding the special time out watch. "2 more minutes. And no second cookie."

"Ye are tough but fair." Cedric said. "I'm Uncle Cedric, married to Scary Auntie B."

"Do ye have superpowers?" Daisy asked in awe.

"Of course, magic spells that make her sweet." He said. He winked at his wife who flipped him off.

Phillip grinned and crouched in front of Daisy. "I'm Phil."

"Daisy."

"You are pretty."

"Gramma did my braids. My brother and Uncle Merlin blow at them." She looked at him. "Your braids are pretty too."

"Not braids sweetie, dreads." He explained. Daisy reached out and pulled her hand back. "Good girl, you should never touch someone without permission, but I don't mind, ye can touch." Daisy stroked his hair.

"Neat." She said. "Did Uncle Cedric magic you a different colour than your parents?"

Merlin groaned a little. "Daisy..."

Phillip laughed. "I'm adopted Daisy. They aren't my blood parents. My blood parents were black, so I'm black."

"Oh. Were your parents as mean and ouchie as mine."

"Well I don't really know, but I do know no ouchies since Mum and Da took me in."

"That's nice." She smiled. "Can I paint your nails?"

"Sure, why not?" Phillip let himself be dragged away, and laughed when Daisy shouted that time out was over. The two disappeared upstairs.

Cedric sat on the couch beside Merlin. "So...trust you can forge some good paperwork."

"Aye." Merlin agreed. Cedric nodded. "Need to convert the spare room some, should let her pick out the colours."

Bobby stomped over. "I haven't agreed to shit." She growled.

"Well I haven't either." Eggsy said, speaking for the first time from the corner he had been reading in. "I still say Morgan is the better call than your grumpy ass."

Bobby gave him a look and Eggsy paled a little. 

Cedric nudged his wife. "Don't give him the mean face, he's looking after his sister."

"If he were doing that, he'd keep the lass himself, but suppose that is a little too much responsibility." She said. 

"Excuse me." Eggsy said quickly. He ran from the room.

Cedric gave his wife a look. 

Merlin gave her more. "Bobby, ye will apologize to him and ye will mean it. Ye have no idea, fucking none, how hard this is for him. How dare ye belittle him for having the fucking courage to do what is best for that girl." Merlin looked at his mother who just looked back. "Last mission Eggsy was gone to China for a month to stop them from building bullets that we made with nuclear waste in them. The reason V-day only destroyed 8% of the population - him. He's been stabbed, shot, tortured, assaulted, all to save the world. And he is amazing at it. And I am the one who works 60 hour weeks making sure he goes in with the best intel and comes home, maybe bloody, but victorious." Merlin looked at his sister. "No matter how much we love that little girl. We cannae look after her and save the fucking world as well. And ye will never ever make him feel inferior again, or I leave Daisy with Morgan and ne'er speak to ye ever again."

"Knew ye weren't robbed." Claire said.

"Nae, it was a mission in Argentina. I don't go in the field a lot."

"Do you have a code name? Is it like Black Death or The Death deal or -" Cedric asked.

"Merlin, I'm called Merlin and he is Galahad."

Cedric pouted. "Kind of D&D isn't it?"

"Stay focused darling." Bobby said. "I'm sorry Quinn, I am. Ye know I mouth off when I feel backed into a corner." Merlin nodded. "I barely know him and ye expect me to take his sister in, make her my own."

"I hoped, dinnae expect." 

"We're here for a week, we shall see what happens." Bobby said. "I'll go hunt your boy down and make my apologies. And yes I'll mean them." Bobby looked at her brother. "I...I am so proud of you Quinn." She left before anyone could respond.

She found Eggsy on the back porch. "I need to apologize."

"Yeah you do." Eggsy smiled at her, his anger and fear gone. "But I get it."

"Ye do?"

"Sure Merlin lashes out when scared too. He told me he was most like you in personality. Bet that is why he picked you."

"And you've picked Morgan."

Eggsy shrugged. "She's had a hard road, Morgan would be a soft place to land."

"I am sorry Eggsy." Bobby said. "I've talked to Harry you know."

"Oh?"

"Like he's the only one who looks out for his family." Bobby said. "I called that shop and just started yelling at people. We hadn't heard from him for a few months. And Harry talked to me, told me about him and you and how you started dating and he just sounded so proud and full of affection for you both. Man can't lie about that sound in his voice." Bobby looked at him. "Doing right fucking sucks doesn't it?"

He laughed a little. "So much, Scary Auntie B, so damn much."

"Come on, ye can have the second cookie that I lost out on."

They went back into the house.

**************************

Three nights later Bobby's legs were bothering her. She got up and made herself some tea and sat on her mother's couch with a book. She knew Cedric would look for her in about an hour. It had been a good visit, but as fond as she was growing of the little spitfire, she was still with Eggsy on thinking Morgan would be the better option.

She heard light footsteps. "Wee ones should nae be awake at this hour." she turned a page and didn't look up.

"Couldn't sleep." Daisy climbed onto the couch careful to avoid Bobby's legs. "Why do you have ouchies. Eggsy said I shouldn't ask, but how else do I learn?"

"I have CP." Daisy looked confused and Bobby gave her the same answer she had given all her nieces and nephews. "Cerebral Palsy. I was born with it. There is a part of your brain that helps you walk and jump and skip. That part of my brain is just a little broken, so I need help walking. Quinn designed me these canes and they help a great deal. Some people it can affect them all over, for me it is just my legs. I'm pretty lucky."

"And kisses didn't make it better?"

"Oh they did, they helped a lot, just can't kiss the broken brain part, so they couldn't fix it all the way." Bobby said. 

Daisy nodded. "Does it hurt."

"Aye. Some days not all, some days a lot."

"And Uncle Cedric and his magic look after you, and so does Phillip."

Bobby smiled. "Aye, they do a wonderful job too."

"People don't look after me so good." Daisy hugged a pillow. "I know why we're here. Why I'm here."

"And why is that little miss?" Bobby put her book down.

"Eggsy doesn't want me. Mummy threw me away and now he wants to also."

"That is enough young lady, you will nae speak of your brother like that." Bobby didn't raise her voice, but it was firm. "All I have seen is a young man who adores you, and wants to give ye the whole world iffen he could."

"Nu-uh. I know he's trying to ditch me on one of you. I've been like trying you out." Daisy said.

"Ye are a very clever girl Daisy. But ye are 4 and cannae quite understand how grown ups think."

"So explain it then." Daisy stuck out her chin.

"Some people should nae be parents. That is simple enough." Bobby started.

"Like Mum. She hasn't called once."

"Like your mother." Bobby agreed. "And some would be good parents but cannae have children."

Daisy looked at Bobby. "You're sad. You can't have kids."

"No, I cannot. But god brought Phillip into our lives and that was a damn fine day." Bobby smiled, thinking of her son. "I love that boy as if I had birthed him myself."

"Birth is gross, I saw a puppy do it. She licked them clean." Daisy said eyes wide.

"It is gross and I admit I am sort of thankful I skipped that." Bobby agreed. "Thought people don't lick their bairns clean. And some people might be amazing parents, but they might just not be ready yet, or know that the best thing is to not be parents."

"But if he loves me as much as he says why doesn't he want to keep me?" Daisy began to cry.

"Oh sweet one, come here." Bobby pulled Daisy up into her lap and cuddled the little girl close. "He wants so very much to keep you. So very very much. But he's a superhero and that is a lot of weight to carry and he has to save the world."

"He could just save me." Bobby felt her heart fully become Daisy's with that sentence.

"He is darling. This is how he's saving you. By giving you a family, one that is home for dinners and school plays and is there to wipe your tears and play all your games." Bobby smoothed Daisy's hair. "He is giving you grandparents and three families to choose from. And we are all kith and kin. Do ye think you'll nae see him again? He'll visit you and ye will visit him and there is the phone and Skype and email and writing traditional letters, and I am sure some sort of gadget that Merlin invents just to keep you and your brother close."

"You don't live here like the rest."

"No but it isn't so far. Scotland if ye aren't on an island is nae so big." Bobby kept her close. "We would come to visit if ye like. I know ye and Phillip have become thick as thieves already and I guess every holiday weekend he would be demanding to come see ye."

"Morgan and Kennedy are nice. They hug a lot and told me I was sweet and nice."

"I think ye are clever and brave. And sweet and nice." Bobby said.

"Would...would your legs stop ye from going to a school play?" Daisy asked.

"The bloody hounds of Lucifer could nae stop me if someone wanted me there."

"But ye couldn't play tag."

"No, but I can teach ye tricks on how to beat Cedric and Phillip at any game there is."

Daisy's grin was wicked. "I like to win."

"Aye, it is a fine feeling."

Daisy snuggled in and Bobby held her tight. "You're all comfy. Like a mum is supposed to be, like they show on telly."

"My family sings a lullaby. I sang it to Eggsy on a visit. I could sing it to ye, iffen ye like." Bobby offered.

"A real proper bedtime song?"

"Aye."

"Don't get a lot of those." Daisy snuggled closer. "That could be nice."

"Rest your head sweet girl. No decisions have to be made, but when the time comes ye make sure your voice is heard loud and clear. Make it strong." Bobby said before she began to softly sing off key.

Eggsy and Merlin sat on the steps. "Okay so I switch my vote to Bobby." Eggsy leaned into Merlin and hugged his arm. "God they are perfect together."

"Aye." Merlin agreed.

"Sweet. I'm getting a righteous little sis." Phillips said a couple steps above them.

"Paperwork. I want lots of highly dubious paperwork." Cedric said beside his son.

Duncan snored against the wall a few steps above that, while Clair wiped away some tears. "They look so right, Just wonderful."

Bobby kept singing to the sleeping girl, ignoring all the chatter coming from behind her.

She kissed Daisy's hair. "Lass ye will be so very very loved. By a great number of annoying and wonderful people."

Daisy's arms tightened in a hug even as she slept.


	15. How They Move Through Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really hope that you've enjoyed this story.

**One Day**

Eggsy was happily eating the oatmeal. He still had no idea what Claire did to make it so amazing but he was on his second bowl. Daisy pulled out a chair and sat next to him. Claire got her a smaller bowl of oatmeal. The two ate together in silence and Claire let them be and stood in the hall to block the rest of her nosy family from bothering them.

Daisy swirled her spoon around. "I know the truth."

"I know you do." Eggsy said. "But I can change that truth. We can get a nanny in London and we can sort something out. Harry and Mr Mac will help and so will Roxy and -"

"Do you really save the world, like Ms Marvel?"

"More like Hawkeye, no superpowers, just a lot of training and luck." Eggsy said.

Daisy nodded. "It would be selfish if I stopped other people from being saved wouldn't it?"

"You deserve to be a little selfish." Eggsy said. "I love you so much Daisy."

"I love you too silly Egg." Daisy said. "I like it here. It's quieter than London, and Grandda promised me a rabbit."

"Gramma and Grandda love you lots darling, but they can't raise you, just a little too old."

"But Scary Auntie B, and magic Uncle Cedric, and Phillip can." Daisy replied. "She cuddles nice and will scare bullies away. And,"

"And what baby?"

"I think she needs me. She can be like my corner of the world that I save." Daisy said. "Like my big brother, be a superhero."

Right Eggsy didn't care that he was ugly crying as he hauled Daisy in for a hug.

"Bobby it is then."

 

**One Week**

Claire and Duncan were holding their new granddaughter tight and promising to see her soon. 

"It's not that far Mama, you'll see her again soon." Bobby said. "Let her breathe."

"She's fine." Claire said.

"I'm fine. New Grandda stuffed animal is providing cushion space."

"Oh good lord another one." Merlin and Bobby grumbled.

Phillip held up his bear. "I got a matching one." He grinned at the silly toy that wore a big brother t-shirt.

"We're burning daylight here people, we need to hit the road for home." Cedric warned. He got in the car and started it.

Merlin and Eggsy got Daisy away from her grandparents and into the car they had borrowed for the drive. They were going to spend the next month settling Daisy into Inverness with Bobby and her boys.

They drove away from the farm, Daisy waving furiously and clutching the latest bear tight.

It wasn't the longest drive ever but it was late in the day when the drove through the city and to the edge where they lived.

Eggsy stared at the house. "Uh babe?"

"Yes?" Merlin asked pulling in behind Cedric.

"This looks like a slightly bigger version of our house."

"No it doesn't."

"Yeah, it does."

"Nae ye are mistaken."

"You have those same planters in front, your shutters are painted the same blue, the door knocker is even the same." Eggsy looked at him. "Oh god, you two are so the same you don't even know it. You did that completely by accident didn't you?"

Merlin looked at his sister's house and saw all the things that matched his. "Shut up." was his only response.

They got Daisy out of her booster seat and they followed into the house.

Eggsy figured it was a good idea not to point out how similar some of the furniture was to theirs.

"Daisy, would ye like to see what will be your room?" Bobby asked. Daisy nodded and they went upstairs. "Ye will be right across from Phillip." She opened the door to a simple guest room. "We'll start making it yours in a couple of days, furniture, new paint, the like."

"Where's your room?" Daisy asked.

"We're on the lower floor off the kitchen, it's easier for Bobby's legs." Cedric explained.

"I like yellow." Daisy said.

"Yellow is a fine colour." Bobby said. "We'll go to the shops so you can pick out a good shade and we'll have your brother paint it. They'll have an air mattress in the living room."

Merlin sighed, that was going to kill his back.

"Going to be a good room, Daisy, I can feel it." Eggsy said looking around.

"Yeah, happy house." Daisy agreed.

 

**One Month**

Bobby sat down with Merlin and Eggsy. "It's time for ye two to go."

"We can stay another month." Eggsy protested. "We have the time off."

Merlin looked at his sister. "And us staying is keeping her from settling all the way. She doesn't know who to turn to for help, for guidance."

"Aye." Bobby looked at them. "Will staying make leaving any easier?"

Eggsy rubbed a hand over his face. "No."

"She's happy and ye know you'll be skyping all the damn time with her and send her packages and whatever it is you are planning."

Eggsy nodded.

"We'll stay through the weekend. There is something I want to do before we leave." Merlin said.

"Very well." Bobby kissed both their heads and left them be.

"Wot you want to do?" Eggsy asked. "Big last hurrah with Daisy?"

"Of a sort. Ye shall see." Merlin's smile was mysterious.

On Sunday Bobby prepared an absurd amount of tea. "Why you doing that Scary Auntie B?" Daisy asked.

"Because I ken what Quinn is planning even if he never said and we are about to be invaded." Bobby answered. "Now help me make these cookies."

Daisy happily helped and then got the door when there was a knock an hour later. "Gramma, Grandda!" She cheered and hugged. Morgan, Kennedy, and Jay were there too.

"Well let us in girlie, lots is about to happen." Duncan said as he pulled her up into a hug. "Big day."

Eggsy came downstairs in the nice clothes that Merlin requested he wear. "Hey...everyone." The room was crowded with a good bit of family. And they were all smiling at him with this weird smile. "What's going on?" He reached for the comfort of Daisy.

"Big day everyone says." Daisy explained. "But they won't say why."

Claire grinned. "Not just a big day, a wonderful day." She looked at the stairs and saw her son in traditional dress. "So old fashioned at times, it pleases me."

"Quinn's in a kilt!" Gramma had shown her pictures, but to see it surprised Daisy.

"Oh lord save me." Eggsy whispered. The sight of that killed him.

"Eggsy." Merlin said and he gave him a bow. All his sisters sighed and he tried to ignore them. "Eggsy ye are my core, my life. And I hope that here today, in front of my clan, my family that ye will handfast yourself to me." 

Eggsy looked around at everyone who was smiling and a few even had tears. Eggsy tried to speak, but found he had lost his voice.

"Ye are supposed to say yes." Daisy whispered to him and she pushed her brother towards Merlin.

Eggsy still couldn't speak but nodded furiously. Merlin held out his hand and Eggsy wondered why they were looking to handshake instead of kiss. 

"Hold his wrist, grab it like ye never want to let go." Bobby said to him quietly. 

Eggsy quickly did as he was told, after all it was easy, he never did want to let go.

Claire then came over and wrapped their joined wrists in a strip of the family plaid. "Love each other, be kind, be passionate, protect each other forever from whoever would cause ye harm."

"We will Mama." Merlin promised.

"Hell yeah we will." Eggsy agreed.

"Now ye can kiss." Claire said. Merlin hauled Eggsy in and kissed him hard until his sister's all made too much noise to ignore.

Tea and champagne was brought out and all the sisters immediately began to make wedding plans.

"Eggsy should wear a flower crown." Daisy offered up.

All the sisters turned and looked at Eggsy, who grew terrified at their sharp grins.

"Okay babe, I get why they all terrify you." Eggsy said trying to inch away. "We can elope right?"

"We'll marry under my tree with family and friends around and ye can wear whatever ye like, and I'll wear the plaid because otherwise Mama will kill me. And we will have a picnic in the yard after with music and dancing and laughter until the stars shine on us. Flower crown for ye is optional."

"Oh that sounds nice." Eggsy said.

All the family agreed with Merlin on the plans.

It was a happy thing for them to leave on.

Eggsy didn't cry when they left.

But the second they were back in their own home he cracked.

Merlin held him all night long. And was quiet when his own tears fell.

**One Quarter**

"Hi Eggsy, lookitatwhatimadeinschooltoday." Daisy said on the computer. She held up a picture she had drawn that had yarn and glitter pasted onto it.

"Gorgeous Daisy." Eggsy said. He kept his broken hand below the screen. "And you still like the school?" He was relieved when she babbled away he was in too much pain and too out of sorts to really participate.

Bobby leaned and with one look at Eggsy cut the call short. Daisy waved bye and said see you next week. Eggsy signed out and slumped in his chair. 

"Hurts Daddy." Eggsy said.

"I know, we'll fix ye right up." Merlin promised. "Paddington had a fall while ye were away, you two can heal together."

"Hot chocolate?"

"Of course my darling boy."

"Can we colour my cast, looks boring."

"Colour and stickers." Merlin promised.

"Uncle Harry and Mr. Mac come over?" Eggsy smiled a little.

"Ye like the toy Mr. Mac gives ye from his collection." Merlin teases.

"Like him too."

"I'll give them a call."

"Best daddy."

"Best darling boy."

**One Year**

The wedding happened exactly how Merlin described.

Eggsy wore the flower crown Daisy made him.

**Four Years**

Merlin laughed as Eggsy gave the house a last tidy. "They will nae mind a little dust." He pulled Eggsy into a kiss. "It's fine baby."

"We always go to them, they never come to us." Eggsy said. "Your sister has strong feelings about London."

"Yes but Phillip finally wore her down about coming to work for me, and it is the perfect opportunity for a last family vacation for them. Be tourists, get him settled, ye get quality Daisy time."

Eggsy nodded, "I am a little excited."

Merlin kissed his nose. His husband was adorable.

They heard the horn and Eggsy tore out of the house. Daisy was trying to get out of the car before it even stopped. "Eggsy!"

"Daisy." He swept her into a huge hug as she tumbled out of the car.

"Young miss, ye do nae hop out of a moving car." Bobby said sternly.

"Sorry Mama." Daisy didn't sound that sorry. Bobby grumbled and headed into the house where Merlin was getting the tea ready.

"Swear those kids were quivering the whole drive to get here." Bobby stayed standing, needing the stretch. 

"Let me get your bags." 

Bobby shook her head. "Cedric and I will stay with Phillip at the flat ye arranged for him. Let you two have extra Daisy time."

"Thank ye Bobby." Merlin kissed her cheek. She almost smiled.

It was a wonderful week of tours and family and buying Phillip everything he needed. But where Eggsy expected Daisy to be sad about leaving the next day she just kept giggling. So did Phillip and Cedric. Bobby was the only one with a straight face.

"I could use a walk. Come along everyone we could use the air." Bobby said.

"We were at The Royal Gardens all day." Merlin said, he was aching from all the piggiebacks he had given Daisy.

"Just to the end of the lane and back." Bobby started walking and they all followed. They followed the bend in the lane, Daisy positively bouncing and Phillip kept grinning at his Uncle Quinn.

Eggsy saw the moving truck first. Furniture was going in. "Don't even remember seeing a sale sign." 

"That is a Kingsman property." Merlin answered. "Been empty for a year. I should have seen paperwork about this."

Harry came around the truck. "You would have but your sister is far more terrifying than you."

"What?" Merlin was dumbfounded.

Eggsy watched Daisy's bookshelf and bed go into the house. Daisy hugged him. "Surprise!" She kissed him and gave a death squeeze. "We are moving here."

Bobby took a photo of the dumb look on Merlin and Eggsy's faces.

"Ye hate London."

"Aye it is a den of scum and villainy." She waited but no one laughed. It was her great cross to bear to be the only Star Wars fan in her family. "And that is the reason we are moving here. I'll nae trust this city to treat Phillip right, we'll be here to support him but give him space. Plus Daisy and Phillip dreaded being apart. I called St. Andrews and yelled at them until they gave me a job and then told Mr. Hart to arrange our housing." She shook her head. "Close your mouths ye both look daft."

The truck was emptied and Harry signed the bill as everyone else was too busy feeling things. He went in the house to give them all some space.

Bobby hit her brother. "Well say something."

"Don't assassinate the prime minister, the paperwork would be a nightmare for me."

Cedric laughed, "I'll keep her in check. Only 5 Scottish flags on the lawn."

"I don't...You are...But..." Eggsy was so lost.

"This way I have Mama and Daddy and both my brothers! We can have sleepovers Eggsy!" Daisy said jumping up and down. "Won't that be awesome. I can ride my bike over to your house, and you can come to my gymnastics lessons, and school plays, but don't have to worry because Mama and Daddy are awesome at the day to day homework and food stuff." 

Eggsy looked at Bobby who gave him a wink. He felt Merlin press a hand to his back.

"It's perfect right Eggsy?"

"Yeah Daisy. It's perfect."

 


End file.
